It Is Here That I Am

It is here that I am
Sitting alone in thought
Transitions due
They move in and change me
I see them in force
Look back but weeks
There is another there
She is not I
Painful is the transmutation
Necessary though it may be
This truth must awaken
Embrace this key factor
It is a gift that comes with hard labor
It brings new life
To both the woman
And the innocence returned
The gifts come like rocks
Not like feathers
They cannot sway and swoon in these winds
Gravity drops them hard
They shake me
Cause a human quake
The rocks blast me with intensity
I question my survival momentarily
Then I get up to assess
I am bruised from the battering
These wounds are temporary and self healing
What looks like destruction
Unfolds faults in foundation
The rebuilding is cathartic
Something much greater comes forth
It could never have been seen
Never understood if brought gently
Brought to my senses
It is here that I am

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

New Pathway

Creeping into view a new pathway is emerging
Eagles soar above
They follow the serpentine flow of the river below
Ice lingers along the banks crackling in the winter sun
I call out for greater sight like the eagles above me
Allow me to see where this pathway leads
For this moment I am grounded
No sight is granted
I must simply tread this winding pathway with my heart
Trust every turn
Acknowledge every stone
Every tree along the way
Root out my foundations and strengths to carry me forward
A new beach is uncovered every time the tide goes out
These emotions have been beating our shores battering us
But the tide has now turned
No one knows what we will find here
Everything has been changed
Some things seem fresh and new
Others damaged from the tidal surges
How they mesh from here we must wait to see
Give over the spirits say
Allow yourself to be receptive to any outcome
One thing leads to something greater
This is the time for dominoes to tumble in a preordained order
I know not this order
All that is seen is the tipping of the first
There is no longer free will choice in this sequence
There is a loss of perceived power
Leading the mind to ponder things unthinkable
Why would such things ever be preordained
Even the mind knows they would not
Still in the absence of the normal it wanders forth in deception
I begin to trust this unfolding
As I become accustomed to its essence
I know I must move farther to embrace it fully
A destiny thus waiting is calling
Elements moving in or out of my pathway
Chosen of my Creator must be accepted with grace
For every sorrow I may befall on this trail
There are joys I am being led to
I will feel each feeling
Give it its truth and acknowledgement
Then continue forward on this new pathway

Tatiacha ~ February 11, 2011

The Sword of Power Thus Passed

Red the earth stone
Solid under my feet
Rimmed in spotty green hues
Saturated by the falling rain
Fallen in the night’s passing
My earth glows below me
Filled with life force
Reaching up through my feet
It fills me with radiant warmth
Each step on this trail solid
Moving with purpose
The movement of female force
Strong in its vulnerability
Love is the sword of this freedom
Full expression brought forth
It can find no resistance
For there is no stronger force
Dare one to stand upon this sacred rock
And proclaim otherwise
All who have walked this trail before us
All who come after join in time and space
We raise this sword of love to full strength
And know these truths
Our earth
Our providing mother
Guides our steps
Through her sacred places
I place my foot bare upon her foundation
One by one the others do the same
We speak out with one voice
Sacred place to sacred place
We take our right of flowing power
Moving between us, the earth
And the divinity of all that is
We claim our rights as faithkeepers
As divine grandmothers
Regardless of bodily age
Servants to the whole
The divine flows though us
From spirit to earth
From earth back to spirit
Divine feminine principle
Takes its rightful place
There is no other pathway
It is preordained now
Expressed in blessings for all life
The sword of power thus passed
Universe has ordained
The earth hath bowed allegiance
We take our planet
The power now fully ours
All not in harmony must move aside
Where the power of love is wielded
There is no battle to be fought
We stand unfaltering
Permission granted on all levels
Feet firmly set in stone
Every location now under our command
The future generations of all species
Ours to make whole
There will be no foundation granted
To any energies moving counter
To the divine force of all that is
So be it
The grandmothers have spoken

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ January 8, 2011

11 Days

11 more days

Until what is unknown

The number pops into mind

Undefined

Leaving me to wonder

Ponder

Not a week

Not two

Why does instinct taunt me so

Will I just wait

Will I attempt to figure out my clue

Matters not

The outcome will be the same

11 days

A master number

Symbolic of spiritual event

11 days

One and one is two

Simplistic by nature

A grade schooler will understand

A joining

A reflection of duality

Perhaps a balancing of male and female

The clue is lacking

Day count

T minus 11

Engtovo ~ October 31, 2007

I Will Follow

Walking

Mindless

Look up

It looks

I stop

It stands

I understand

It gazes forth at me

I picture it

I move forward

It runs away

I feel blessed

Return home

Share the news

It’s a message

Meaning is clear

Purpose explained

Heart has heard

I will follow

 

Engtovo ~ October 3, 2007

The Creator’s Choice

They fear because of what has happened before
In their fear they do not see they are doing the same
They need positive distraction
So they have been given it
It is yet another new beginning
Another phase in the uncharted territory
That will perhaps make others afraid
The fear strangles the whole
It sucks the joy out of the experience Creator gave us
They do not understand the choices of Creator
I do not understand the choices of Creator
The difference is
I do not think I need to understand all the Creator’s choices
I am a faithkeeper
One who is tasked with accepting that the choices are
For the greater good
Allowing the knowing to be revealed to me
At the Creator’s time
It is not always easy
But it is easier than living in constant fear
This day has brought many gifts
The Great Blue Heron makes its way across my path
On one fell swoop
The hierarchy reorganizes and it is good
The Christed ones come to me with good news
I feel grounded once more
Tuned to the correct frequency
The confusion of weeks and months past moving out of the way
I feel I have rediscovered my purpose somehow
It was not lost
But perhaps it has been dusted off and polished
It shines forth to me in energy if not in obvious deeds forthcoming
My heart is tethered to it
The winds have been blowing me around of late
Making me feel lost
But they have in fact blown me to the place Creator wanted me
And I am no longer lost
I am the only one who thought I was lost in truth
The Creator knew where I was
And where I was going
Because this dharma was the Creator’s choice

Engtovo ~ May 8, 2006

Temple

A temple is an energy

There is no physical requirement

No building

No garden

No belief structure

Or religion

It is simply a sacred space on the earth

There may be a building

There may be a garden

One person may notice this temple

Or thousands

It only requires one to acknowledge what nature already knows

The sacred space only need be respected

Allowed

Not infringed upon

Work done within it be in harmony with it

Allowing all the spirits of the space participation

When this does not happen

When respect is not given

The temple becomes out of balance

Until respect is returned to the sacred space

Anyone who understands this

Can balance this energy

Talking to the earth

The spirits

Acting as conduit for the divine

There are temples all over this planet

Acknowledged and not acknowledged

Some respected

Others not

Wherever I find one not respected

I will speak

And I will offer my respect

Honoring the sacred space

It is not hard

Or complicated

It is a simple gift of natural union

Engtovo ~ October 24, 2004

Good Day

The love comes rolling in

Boundaries are set

Divine plan of enfoldment is occurring

It is as yet unknown to me

There are numerous possibilities I ponder

Yet they barely scratch the surface

I know only that the one chosen is simple ease

It is clear of the grasping of any

It is for me alone

If others benefit then Creator saw that play out

But it is not benefit of my energy

My gift

Those are mine alone

This is the time I have awaited

Old ties are complete

I let them all go

With that act I release the pain that has been held so long

I have chosen love, freedom, joy

My heart will feel right in the place God takes me

Perhaps my mind will momentarily question

Perhaps some fear will surface

But upon arrival these will subside

And love will transmute them into understanding

The mind questions now

But the heart does not

Everything is unfolding in perfection

I am filled with gratitude

And open my heart to embrace the unknown

Creator has foreseen the obstacles and routed my path around them

There is nothing left here for me to concern with

Awaken each day with joy now self

Knowing everything has been cleared

The slate clean for me

And I move forward

It is a good day to be alive

No longer a good day to die

Engtovo ~ June 29, 2004

Faithkeeper

The Indian man approaches the women looking for the faithkeeper

Many wish to receive the gift he has for her

It is braided with beads and horse hair

A symbol of her role

None feel right to him as he listens patiently to them pleading their case

I am hidden

I listen

A small still voice within speaks

I think it is me

I peek out

He sees me

He knows it is me

He wishes to come to me

I ask him to wait until I finish what I am doing and come forth

He does

He gives to me the gift

I feel it in my hand and know it is mine

I leave and he gives me a warning

For a moment I question his intention

But then know he is true

I follow his heed

And am immediately shown the truth of his warning

I am grateful

I move forward with this journey

As faithkeeper

One who is charged to remain in the state of peace in the midst of chaos

When others have given in to fear and anger

I will hold strong for my clan

My clan is humanity

The challenge is great

But it came to me

And I must believe that that creator gave me whatever I need to meet it

It is not something I will attempt to do

But simply who I am

I will have faith in all life and

Faith in myself to be true to my nature

The Dog & Eagle have shown me how to traverse the trails of fire and poison

And not be touched

The Eagle showed me that it is alive when I was told it is dead

No one can take this faith, this truth

My clan doubts and fears but I will remain true

It is who I am

I am the faithkeeper

Engtovo ~ January 19, 2004

Dominoes

Timing is intricately laced into a web of perfection

Rarely do we get to see a sequence unfold in a conscious way

Obvious in its perfection

But now it begins

Upon my awakening this 19th of January

Unfoldment commences

I shall watch with joy

The dominoes

Click click click

They will affect me directly and indirectly

As well as people I know and thousands I do not

Click click click

It glitters and shines

From the divine love of its weaving

No mistakes

No delays

No misunderstanding

Perfect order observed and experienced with gratitude

Click click click

Engtovo ~ January 18, 2004

Receive

Receiving and giving

So often presented as giving and receiving

If we do not first receive from the Creator what is it we give

How do we sustain ourselves

Keep from giving the vital force that keeps us alive

We must first receive and be comfortable in the receiving

Allow ourselves to overflow in the Creator’s love

Until this love flows unto those around us

We have been taught to live up side down

That it is more important to give

This was not a teaching offered in malice

It was a teaching offered to show us how to be unselfish

But spiritual energies are not Christmas gifts under the tree

When we give energies we are then depleted if we are not properly receiving

We cannot simply return to Wal-Mart to buy a new gift for another person

In spiritual energies we must in fact be first selfish

If we are not we are not truly capable of helping others

We must bring in these spiritual energies from the Creator

We must choose to see ourselves as worthy of all this good energy

From this place of filling full

Fulfillment

We are then free to give, knowing we can not be depleted

For we are continuing to receive in every moment

The journey to knowing our worth

Is our journey to allowing ourselves to receive in fullness

We hold ourselves separate from the Creator

We feel we do not deserve all of the Creators love and energy

We think that if we give and do good deeds we will become worthy

In so doing we become tired and weary

expending our limited amount of vital life force

Many die in this process

Never understanding they are worthy

That they do not need to give away their life force to prove their worth

But in fact the Creator desires to fill them with life force in every moment

In the process giving us the ability to truly give to others

without giving our life away

We have the right and inheritance of life and this is the right,

In fact the responsibility, to receive

To be vital in this life and flow that vitality out to all life

without losing it for ourselves

This nourishes all other life

As the Creator directs it to us to nourish our life

It is the cycle of life

We must receive and give

Let us stop giving and receiving

For once we have given

The receiving comes too late

We are sick

Diseased

Void of faith

Or dead

Let us choose life together

Receive

Engtovo ~ October, 15, 2003

Earth Dance

Circle of creation

We enter

We pray

Pour forth love to all of creation

Commitments made to our earth mother

We honor her gift of life

Her nurturance of our every physical need

Commitments made to future generations

We give forth love for your arrival

Committed to give you a world better than the one we inherited

A thriving inhabitable planet

Understanding of joy and celebration

A safe place for open hearts

To share as the creator intended

We purify our bodies, minds, emotions and spirits

We enter the womb of our mother and sweat

Smudge away the energies that interfere

With our true expression of love

We prepare the sacred pipe

To carry our prayers for all life

The dance begins

The circle moves the sacred spiral upward

And calls it back down the center

To ground our prayers as living truth

We acknowledge the four directions

And all the medicine present within and all around

The eight winds of change come forth and bring healing to each of us

And out through us to all life

We dance the ideal of our pyramid foundation that points above

Into manifestation creating the below grid of our Enochian six pointed star

To hold this ideal present in our lives everyday

To share with the world as we walk forth from ceremony to your daily life

On the 3rd day of the dance

Having finished building the second triangle of our sacred star

The moon rises full

To bless each one with completion and release

Thanking us with gentle light for participation

We awaken to a forth day of celebration in the living prayer

With the new energy to the dance

The pipe is smoked and it is done

Until we begin the process again

We give our hearts in thanks to the Dharljas

The Hopi and the Blackfeet

For holding the solstice and equinox energies

Holding this planet gently for our awakening to the dance once again

We will grow the moon dances

While they hold these sacred four seasonal changes

We will not cease

Until all who live on earth hear the call of the dance

And come home to the love of creator and earth

Self responsible for what we leave behind for each generation to come on all levels

It is the dance of healing

For us

For the earth

For the future

For the children

It is Earth Dance

Engtovo ~ February 4, 2003

God Core

Sentimental journey this is not

Attachment to old thoughts of lives lived has no place here

This life is its own

It is supported by others

They are foundation not musing

The truth and power of who I am is not defined by

The family

Places

Names

Locations

That I have experienced

It is in my heart

Of my God self

Born there at my creation

As first soul then Spirit

Foreseen by my Creator

It does not need past scenarios to be understood

It is pure core that is beyond all these things

That does not lessen the memories

Does not lessen the bonds of love

Those bonds and memories were born out of the core

Not the other way around

I must remain loyal to that core

That essence of Divine Principle

That is there inside all I have ever done

When I walk this earth be it Tatiacha

Engtovo

Asheaka

Or Diane

It is the divine in me that is the constant that sustains me

I am not sustained by self as Engtovo in my other body

Engtovo and I, both bodies

Are sustained by our God core

Propelled forward in decisions and actions and true intent by God within

Turn not this power over to any

It is the true self

The spark of the divine

Simply reside there now

In my God core

Living from this place

Everything else in my life will simply answer the command of this love energy

Every thing flows from here

It is where truth is spoken

Where love is understood

Where divine laws are enacted through self to manifest in the physical world

It is my center of creation

Where God and I join as the one that we are

And move energies outward to effect the surrounding manifestation

Bring every thought word and deed to the God core

And in all the worlds will I have dominion

No act could come of selfishness, ego, or greed from this core

This is where God asks me to be evermore

And so it is

Engtovo ~ January 10, 2003

Know The Truth

Send me a dream

A vision

A feeling

Bring me the rose that is me in full bloom

Hear my voice

Pour out in transfusion of vibration

Know the truth

That dwells with each heart

There is none other

Receive the dream

The vision

The feeling

Seek out the rose that is you in full bloom

Listen to the voice within

Pouring out its vibration

Know the truth

That dwells within each heart

Engtovo ~ November 9, 2002

Not Damaged

Sent me through trails of hell

Over coals

Burning embers

I am unscathed

I believe I am damaged

But my bare feet remain unburned

Perhaps I feel I should be damaged

That if I am not

Then it lessens the truth of these years of pain and suffering

Like a widow

Thinking she must grieve for a preordained period of time

Have I forced myself to present a image for self as damaged

Why can’t I just be free of it all

In an instant

This instant

What timetable have I chosen for this illusion

My spirit is pure

Strong

Unstoppable

With power beyond mind’s understanding

How long has it chosen to hide behind lies and deception that it is less

How much hell does it want to experience

And then how long will it take for appropriate recovery

I truly need not recover

For in truth nothing has occurred in hell

My spirit has not been damaged

All that has been changed is its understanding

Of the experiences of others

Does this not in fact make me stronger

Instead of damaged

I ask my spirit to live the truth

Leave all these lies behind today

Make this the instant of completion for this illusion

I am not damaged

Engtovo ~ September 30, 2002

Temptation

Temp me not with foolish limitations

I cannot succumb to them

Even from the abyss

I am no longer that ignorant

I know there is another way

A life free from these struggles

Temp me not with promises of mortal life of slavery

For even the greatest of such

Could not shut down the place in my heart that knows it is still slavery

disguised as freedom

There is no temptation of the old ways

I know too much to look back or even look away

Even in moments when I want to because I am weary of the journey

And cannot find the strength to continue

I do not need to find my strength

For I have asked God to carry me

In God’s arms I cannot hear your temptation

Cannot acknowledge their existence

They have become nothing

That annoys you all

As you present them to me as available truth

Because you are not able to see the lies of them

You will simply have to be annoyed then

Angry

Dismayed

Perhaps you will think me crazy even

I do not care

What has reached my God core as true knowing

Cannot be ignored

Cannot be tempted by thought mine or yours

Truth has a life of its own

My heart may be weary

Tired

At times angry or apathetic

But even in this state

It cannot be swayed

Because it is open

Feeling

Loving

Your temptations would require it to close

To stop feeling and loving

That is no longer possible

God’s life is too fully within it

I know you cannot see this

Feel this

Or know this

So you will continue to offer me your temptations

I will simple continue to say no

You will react as you will

I am free to live my heart

You and your temptation have no power to change that

This frustrates you in your need for dominance over me

But the very thing that you want to steal from me

Is available to you in every moment

All that you need do is face the demon of your own temptation

And your heart will open

And God will carry you as well

Engtovo ~ September 28, 2002

New Eden

A brand new Eden

Grids birthed forth with fullness of light

Beauty and excitement of change and new environment

What is being left behind

Will be remembered but not grieved

It served its time

It supported all life

And gave joy to all who entered

The new Eden will do the same

It is with a heart full of exuberance and joyful play

That I feel the new Eden’s arrival

It is like a birth

A new infant

That will grow over the next 15-20 years into full adulthood and size

It is a co-creation

Of hearts pure in God’s love

An expression of earth and spirit in total balance as one

I seek this new Eden

First in my heart

Then soon in my body as well

It awaits me

Like a true mother awaits the arrival of the child from the womb

I have been spun here in the cocoon of my journey

And I envision the self

I am becoming the butterfly

And the new Eden I will fly over

Flowers await my gentle touch and pollination skills

And I will tenderly stop and enjoy each one

For Eden is joy in true expression

The joy reaches out into this cocoon

And teaches the transforming self

How to use the wings forming

To fly free

To fly home

My creator’s arms outstretched guide me as a beacon

And although I have never been to this new Eden

Already it is home

Engtovo ~ April 9, 2002

Deceptions

Temporary deception

Blinding confusion

Tears fall gently down my saddened cheeks

Tenderly raining

Nature echoes the same

It is done

My soul calls out in anguish

There will be no more

I will not be victim

Nor turn to be victimizer

Retreat

A place in my heart already moves forth in newness

The old grieves and turns over to the new

Ripping apart

Shredding of past life based in deception and falseness

The tears cleanse my body and soul

As the earth cries with me

There is a season for all things

The season of winter ends now with this relationship

Spring bursts forth with new life

New flowers and scents

To carry me forth into the summer of my work

I allowed myself to be deceived

I watched a thousand scenes play out

I had my reasons

Another way calls

Not all can come

Those who are deceivers shall be left behind

To wallow in their deceptions alone

I have no regret

No remorse

No guilt

I did as I agreed to do

No less

As I move on

I will be villainized by the deceivers

This is understood

So be it

For who I am

Is between me and God

No accusations may affect me

As I choose freedom and joy

It is my right

I enact it this moment

Attracting all that is good in this world

And repelling the deceivers and their deceptions

Engtovo ~ April 9, 2002

Sparks

Sparks tingle as they fly into the air and mark their space in time

The noise they exude exclaims their emotion of being birthed

Their light bright

It shines across the distance of the night

Humans refuse the spark inside

Always seeking through darkness for someone else to be a fleeting spark in the night

You are the spark

Deny it no longer

Let out the sound of your emotion at the birth of your true spark into expression

Light up the darkness with your light

Fly into the air and be suspended by the divine

Engtovo ~ February 27, 2002

The Road

There is a road that winds around the bend into a new life

It is my road

Freshly paved

Free of pot holes

It is smooth easy travel

I have been paving it for years

Once I have traveled it the road will remain

If others find it

They are welcome to travel it too

The new life I am paving my way to

is one that is new only to thought in this body

It is a life I have lived before

But it has been changed forever by the experience of the road

The people in this life remain true to themselves

It is I who am different

But they accept these changes within me as a gift to the whole

This road is blessed and ordained

The bend is the last one

For after this curve is the final stretch of my road

It is straight and fast

As I round this bend I can catch glimpses into the new regions of the road

And it is a sight that is unlimited

I remain committed to my travel

I am not weary

Even though body, mind and emotion has previously led me to believe I was

My spirit has endured and has ample energies to continue to my destination

After all it is my road

I never stopped building it

And the road itself has already reached the destination

It is only the conscious mortal being that is still traveling on this journey

It is laid out and simple

I only need allow myself to see to the horizon of this road each day

For there are no surprises here

Nothing my spirit has not already seen while building this road

My job is simply to travel upon it grateful to my spirit

For the fine job it has done in construction

No fear need enter thought

For the road is perfect

No emotion or experience need I worry about

They have all been accounted for

No tiredness of body will stop me from reaching the destination

For the road is no longer than my body can endure

I have paved my own pathway

And now I journey upon this road with gratitude and grace

Engtovo ~ December 12, 2001

Soul Pushed Forward

I will not break down

My spirit remains true

As my body faltered

My soul pushed forward

And now pulls my body back to harmony

As my mind wandered and questioned

My soul pushed forward

And brings my mind understanding and wisdom

As my emotions feared and twisted me into turmoil

My soul pushed forward

And brought me a peaceful heart in the midst of chaos

The world crashes and burns

My soul pushes forward

To change that which can be changed

To speak truth on those things that will not change

Others question and bury their heads in the sand

Refusing to hear the answers to what they’ve asked

My soul pushes forward

And will not look away from the truth because of fear

Changing this world requires knowing this world

How can we hope to change that which we refuse to look at and learn the truth of

The pain therein has enveloped me

And caused me to want to hide

But my soul pushed forward

With the intent that I will go on

Despite the pain I see or feel

There is no true escape

There is no drug that can shut out what a soul knows

A mind can be drugged to appease the emotion that flows forth from thought

But a soul will accept responsibility for the co-creation with the all

Even when your part of the creation is the choice of ignorance

With that in mind I choose to consciously take my part in the responsibility

Doing as I can to share truth that teaches others how to do the same

Offering an alternative to ignorance

Thus serving the evolution of the whole

It is for this intent my soul has pushed forward

And will continue to push forward with God as guiding force

I will not break down

Engtovo ~ December 12, 2001

Running For Home

She is gliding effortlessly

Loyalty sprints beside her

Leading this journey home

There is mastery of this loyal spirit

An expert in protection

A knower – feeler

She has no problem expressing herself

The journey is fast

Faster than her mind understands

It is easy and familiar

Even though it is new to this one part of herself

The road turns from city shopping and chaotic traffic

To quiet gravel

Leaves ablaze with color

Running for home with her loyal companion

Not running away as she has done in youth

Not running in fear

But joyously running to

Both sides of the road are rimmed in orange

Surrounding her with the color of creation

She could keep this pace indefinitely

But there is no need

For with that thought she has arrived

Engtovo ~ November 1, 2001

Creation Is In Progress

wanton thoughts darting in and out

prying eyes without bodies look in at me

dreams that should be nightmares are now without fear

changes so become me that my mind wonders if I have changed

perspectives shifting so greatly that it is an earthquake of mental activity

silence comes in fits between tremors

body feels the vibrational increase

heart beats out a different rhythm

scenes move in and out of the minds eye

creation is in progress

only the spirit divine knows which scene is the one manifesting

opportunities show themselves as veiled gifts

confirmations are made available to me and acknowledged

only I know what happens in my sphere

others see only a cloudy image of an incomplete picture

movement masquerades as stillness

time pretends to move slow while is flies by in months

there is something more that I feel

it cannot be chased down as it moves toward me

symbols are unique to me

timing is my own

all of me participates here

and it is done

Engtovo ~ September 11, 2001

Note: I wrote this poem about 2 am in the morning and then went to bed only to wake up to a phone call the next morning about the World Trade Center attacks.

Power

Questions have been answered

Timing is now set in stone

like tablets etched by God

There is nothing to stop this

no force without

no force within

that could counter this opening of expression

Manifestation is akin to breathing

No conscious thought is required for breath

The body knows how

No conscious thought is required for using God’s true gift

The spirit knows how

Allowance of this truth has come forth

The spirit will now simply do that which is the right of all

as simply as the body expresses it’s right to breathe

There is no limitation uncountered by God’s freedom

They are swallowed into a sea of possibility

like droplets of rain on the ocean

they have been transformed into something greater

They flow back and forth through the power of female intuitive force

True power is here

not power over

but power of

and in this power I AM self responsible in absolute freedom

I cannot give it back

Once given there is no returnN

ow I must use it in service to that which gave it forth

My Creator

and I am happy for the opportunity to serve

Engtovo ~ September 9, 2001

Rejoining of Forces

Awakening to destiny

Sight known but as yet unseen

Unparalleled vision

Teaming life sustains every breath

Duality faced down

Fearlessness of spirit

Sparkling radiance of truth triumphs

Completion is at hand

and celebration ensues

Rejoining of forces

positive and negative

into one pure force

with intent only to serve the whole

Love in wholeness

embraces me at every level

Peace and serenity fill me from within

Longing subsides

Cries of anguish released

Voice of one heart is reborn anew

Fresh from the wars

this new expression understands

the good and the bad

Compassion no longer gives way to anger

Dreams are fulfilled

Engtovo ~ September 9, 2001

Hearts

Hearts alive and flowing free

Hearts survive all that we do

When closed they remain faithful

that they will be allowed to reopen

They wait and trust that their time will come

Minds fear the love and action of hearts

For hearts actions are unpredictable

and cause minds to cloud with confusion and dismay

But minds without hearts are little use

For minds must have inspiration to achieve their full potential

and inspiration is of the heart

Engtovo ~ May 21, 2001

Discover Me Oh Faithful

Discover me oh faithful

Discover the power within

It is your Creator right within and present

Talk to me

Listen to me

Act on my behalf

I am not in your mind

Where you decide for yourself what i think or feel

I am in your heart – soul – spirit

Where I give you understanding of what I AM

You have not the right to determine me

To quantify me with your limited thoughts or words

I am not a book

I am a living expression with you everyday

I am not a story

I am all stories

All paths

All experiences

Discover me oh faithful

Discover the power within

Engtovo ~ November 11, 2000

Gesture

gesture

has been made

alas it has been seen… received…acknowledged

the sign has been hung for such a long time

you stopped looking at it

you questioned whether it was relevant any longer

it is!

It is not forgotten

nor misplaced

it is held most sacredly

LOOK

do not ignore it any longer

the old will not continue

cannot continue

if you refuse to see the gesture

the new may take you by surprise

you say you do not wished to be surprised

so LOOK

it is none other than what you truly desire

do you think you truly desire something bad?

gesture back

signs work both ways

the good, the bad, the indifferent

don’t hold it inside

set free the notion that anything gestured is unchangeable

it belongs to you

this world

it belongs to every vibrating piece of life

do you not vibrate?

shape your vibration into what you wish it to be

your surroundings will follow suit

make choices that are true to you

that may cause pain to others who want you to be other than who you are

You cannot be responsible for their desire to control you

you do not wish pain upon them

You are only being yourself

in the highest expression you are capable of

in this moment

that’s enough

you are not required to be more

or better

than who you are in THIS moment

gesture

has been made

alas it has been seen… received… acknowledged

prayers spoken

prayers heard

wisdom offered

wisdom heard

Your welcome

Guidance ~ July 15, 1999

Wing Makers

Sanctify me

Give me the breath of life

Turn my face to the divine

Let the birds of faith fly strong and fast

Wings beating effortlessly

Across the endless canvas of blue sky

In true knowing

Bring tears of joy out into the world

To feed the thirst of the parched ones

and the land dried of it’s rightful inheritance by the ignorance of man

Balance of worlds within and without

Turning spheres in the universe of heartfelt love

Open your palm and receive a blessing of truth

hold gently and see the seeds of this truth grow fast into the fruits of abundance

Given freely to all mankind

There is no power, no money, no control of the many by the few

The gift of truth flies free on the wings of faith

Unfettered in it’s endless blue skies

It never tires or becomes the possession of any

It moves onward always in motion

Changing faces and languages

But always remaining true to it’s origin

Take off the blinders and the sky brightly delivers itself into your view

It is the stillness and pureness that is the canvas of self that the truth paints upon

Making wings for each being to move unfettered into knowledge & expression of the divine

Engtovo ~ December 9, 1998

Gift

dream a little

think a little less

deliver self a gift

a divine package, as it were

wrap it up with the finest paper

place upon it ribbons and bows

tie balloons to it & float it right into your hands

receiving it’s beautiful bounty

given in love

admire the time and energy given to make this package so special

so lovely

what have you given to self

rip it open to see

it must be perfect

as you only send the finest to those you love

set aside the balloons, ribbons, bows, and paper

and open the box…WAIT!don’t forget to open the card

Dearest Oneyou are greatly loved

I chose this gift especially for you

to remind you that you are special and valued

no other being can be you in this world

no one could ever take your place

no life is insignificant

be simply yourself

that is always enough

Self

open the box and inside is an eagle feather

symbol of divine spirit

and a note that says…

remember to fly

Engtovo ~ September 17 1998