To My Friends

Friends of honor
Friends of integrity
To this day we rise
I come to you in honesty
Offer you my respect
With my heart I offer gratitude
And honor the souls that you are
Sometimes our road is twisted
Mistakes we will make
We honor them all with apology
We ask and then expect more of ourselves
We deliver more
It is in our support and love
We find our way
I thank you for the truths you’ve told
Those I saw and those I resisted
Those that made me cry
For they were offered with love
From honesty
You came to me with heart open
I hold these hearts with tenderness
I know the grace of who you are
It is more than this day
This month or year
The infinite nature of our connection is within
We are those who know and see these things
We journey alone but cross paths
Some crossings are short
Some long
All are significant and enduring
You remind me of who I am
Who I was created to be in wholeness
I do the same for you
This path has been so very hard
Each day you all remind me of its beauty
And the blessings we share
Often lost in the fog of our lessons
It presents itself back to us
We listen and we pray together and for one another
We sit quiet and exchange energies
Near or far there is no distance between us
In moments we may take one another for granted
This is not one of those moments
I am in awe of all that you have accomplished
While a clueless world looks on
They see nothing
Feel nothing
As they sit unknowing in the circle of our love
In the greatest of these challenges
Somehow we have found one another
From across this earth we love
It is the most wondrous gift
May we fill our hearts with magic
Then bless it upon each other
We have earned these blessings
Through honoring each other
And it is with a vulnerable heart
That I choose to give blessings of love
To each and all of you
And hold you in sacred space
Honored to call you friends

Tatiacha ~ March 12, 2011

Divinely Ordained

Alluvial planes spread out before me
They glitter in the twilight of days end
Amber and golden hues beckon me home
They speak to my soul of information once forgotten
I awaken to the breath of a heart’s desire
Clear and true in its simplistic nature
Arms outstretch to embrace the Creator’s law
Universe fills me and pours deep into the earth
The creator force with intent moves through me
Grounds itself to manifestation in the physical
I am a conduit as well as a participant within
Above, below and within merge to one voice
The four directions start to circle around me
They swirl and spiral into the twilight sky
They return the earth energies back to the universe
Completing the circuit of this prayer force
All parts are willing to move forward with single purpose
Harmonized with the power of all life
There is nothing that can stop this whirlwind
It is divinely ordained to seek out its place and expression
As twilight gives way to the deep night of silence
The stars bow in allegiance to the grace of the moment

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ 12-16-10

Earth Dance

Circle of creation

We enter

We pray

Pour forth love to all of creation

Commitments made to our earth mother

We honor her gift of life

Her nurturance of our every physical need

Commitments made to future generations

We give forth love for your arrival

Committed to give you a world better than the one we inherited

A thriving inhabitable planet

Understanding of joy and celebration

A safe place for open hearts

To share as the creator intended

We purify our bodies, minds, emotions and spirits

We enter the womb of our mother and sweat

Smudge away the energies that interfere

With our true expression of love

We prepare the sacred pipe

To carry our prayers for all life

The dance begins

The circle moves the sacred spiral upward

And calls it back down the center

To ground our prayers as living truth

We acknowledge the four directions

And all the medicine present within and all around

The eight winds of change come forth and bring healing to each of us

And out through us to all life

We dance the ideal of our pyramid foundation that points above

Into manifestation creating the below grid of our Enochian six pointed star

To hold this ideal present in our lives everyday

To share with the world as we walk forth from ceremony to your daily life

On the 3rd day of the dance

Having finished building the second triangle of our sacred star

The moon rises full

To bless each one with completion and release

Thanking us with gentle light for participation

We awaken to a forth day of celebration in the living prayer

With the new energy to the dance

The pipe is smoked and it is done

Until we begin the process again

We give our hearts in thanks to the Dharljas

The Hopi and the Blackfeet

For holding the solstice and equinox energies

Holding this planet gently for our awakening to the dance once again

We will grow the moon dances

While they hold these sacred four seasonal changes

We will not cease

Until all who live on earth hear the call of the dance

And come home to the love of creator and earth

Self responsible for what we leave behind for each generation to come on all levels

It is the dance of healing

For us

For the earth

For the future

For the children

It is Earth Dance

Engtovo ~ February 4, 2003

A Prayer

Pressure of acceptance affects the truth that prepares to pour forth

Detachment from approval

Seems an insurmountable task

The energy is available

Move through this

Be true to self in fullness

God’s work is filled with reactions

None matter

Prayer

Only relationship to God is relevant

God take these places in my heart that need

And fill them with your presence

Let them not seek to be filled by humans

It is too much to ask of them

Show me how to free my mind from thoughts and emotions

Bound together to fulfill a false need

For all that is

Comes to me from you

There is no need

Purify me of this lack of truth

Allow me to stand free in the Divine Principle that I am

Place into my yoke

The knowing of strength available in every moment

Align my body, heart emotions, mind and divine spirit in the grace of service

Engtovo ~ February 4, 2003

Flathead

Sun sparkles across the great lake

Each ripple of water creates a new scene

A new home for the elders to hide within

The body of you comes into my dreamtime

And beckons me home

I say yes

Carry me there to reside by your changing energies

They fill a place in my heart with understanding

You inspire me with your beauty

You reflect the mountains that protect you with awesome integrity

Together you share

Stability and grounding presence

With deep emotion and continuous flowing love and prayer

I have offered you my prayers in years past

Now they have encircled the world

And they come back to me

Returning me to you

Empowered

Ready to serve

Engtovo ~ November 17, 2002

Think What You Will

Obsessed with negative thought

They overflow onto me

Attempting to attach to me

So that I will manifest them

Or accept them as my truth

I shall not

My creation does not belong to your fear

I understand the difficulties you find yourself in

The depth of fog

But a new clarity reigns here with me

It will not be clouded by you wanting me to experience with you

Similarity on levels draws us together

But also we are different

We cannot be always the same

I pray for you to let go

Give God room to work within your heart

To clear the fears

You place upon me a vision I did not ask for

When another did so to you

With certainly

You rebelled

You angered

How dare she

How dare you do the same to me

You do not know my next steps

Not in truth

You want to limit me with your perceptions

So I will stay in the oppression that mirrors your own

I will not

Cannot do this my friend

I have my own trail to blaze

And you would do well to follow my lead

This moment you wish to stay in drama

In fear

And complain

And think obsessively about 1 or 2 outcomes

To go from negative to positive

When they are the least likely of thousands possible

I cannot be your drama codependent

I can listen when emotion is true and in pure movement

But I must distance when mental spin takes control

With no real desire for solution

I will not be joining in the physical for that folly

I will continue on where God wants me

At home in Montana

Among the annoying who hide

I will not be noticed as I stand forth

You will not know

Unless I choose to tell you

That is the fact

The truth

You are perceptive and have gifts

But you cannot use that fact

To attempt to influence me

By offering me a perception that God has shown different

I will only trust the within

Think what you will

Obsess alone

It is not my role to participate in that

Anymore than the Dharljas have participated with me

When I did the same

Be free

You have choice

Putting your fears and thoughts onto me however

Is not one of them

Engtovo ~ November 17, 2002

You Are Here Now

Deliverance is not a concept

But a choice

Delivering yourself from limitation

There is only a small hint of billions of lights known

To the mortal in man

There are too many journeys to tread them all

In order to know and understand them

Come home

To the arms of those who love you

You are free by choosing freedom

There is nothing that can hold the power of your Godness

There is nothing expected of you

There are offerings of ways that you may serve

None are right or wrong ways

They are just that

Choices

God always offers choices

There is not a force that limits the ways in which God creates

There is no energy that can combat a prayer in truth

There is only love within this great universe that is created of love

Bring yourself the gift of letting go

Let go without the need to do it in any particular way

It is not something that needs to be done in any given emotion

Or free of any given emotion

It is pureEmotionless

Feel that which you wish to let go of sitting upon your hand

Simply turn your hand over

Nothing more or less

Let it fall away from you

Let it go back to the fluid universe from which it sprang

God does not judge it

Whatever it is

Simply let go

You are here now Tatiacha

You have never been distant

From that which is the truth in your heart

It connects here to us

Those who you understand

Every moment we ask God to help you home

Every moment that prayer is answered

You are here now Tatiacha

Step aside from yourself

See that which is really true

Think not with the mind of mortal

Think with God’s mind that you were given at the beginning

The time is at hand

Your prayers have been answered in the affirmative

You know that God has seen the way for you

Trust this knowingA

ll that is

Is at your command

This is your right

It was given to you with many gifts

You have never used it unwisely

There is nothing to stop the motion of that which becomes you

There is only the divine that can express as truth

Anything else is false

You are sitting at the helm of your very own divine kingdom

It is your sphere

Your heaven

It is a powerful force and it is time to move this force

There is no place other than here

It is not a physical here

It is a spiritual here

There is only one place

Your sphere

Use it dear friend

The Dharljas ~ Engtovo ~ November 6, 2001

Give Me The Tools I Pray

So tired of the energy fight

Why can’t she sabotage herself without attempting to take me down with her

The resentment is eating me alive

How do I live in the arena of her self deception

Fill me God

Give me strength

Don’t let me give in to old ways of hate

How do I love and accept love from someone who tries to lower me

Lessen me

I can’t fight this fight anymore

Yet I cannot give in for If I do I will die

I cannot let her presence guide me with her ignorance

How do I guide myself uninfluenced by all she does

I must leave here God

There is no way to stop the energetic fight and be in this space together

Not that I can see

If there isI question my ability to take that road if I did see it

I am asking for the tools

The understanding

The love to overcome such an enemy

One who loves you with limitation

Loves you right to your death or destruction

One who cannot see that that death and destruction is what they held out for you

What they pushed you toward

You fought

You pushed back

One day if you stop

Surely you will simply be pushed over the edge of the abyss

Where death and destruction await

She will cry and whine and feel no understanding of her part

She will claim herself the victim of my loss

The sufferer of my pain

I feel sick in the thinking of her and this journey

I wonder how so much healing can occur

But the basic element of our relationship remains toxic

Why am I still here

What is left to see

I have prayed, meditated, healed

What can be left

Am I to die or destruct here

Is she just someone I use to aid in my self destruction

I’ve come to the point where I honestly do not want to die

Or destruct

Is that the point

Staying until I want to live, to love fully

Want to thrive not just survive or exist

If more fighting of the energy is required

You will have to do it God

For I have nothing more left within me to fight with

I have little left to heal with

And yet you fill me continuously

How can this be

How can I be depleted

Everything in your universe is available to me

How can it not be enough to sustain me in my truth

What power do I give her that she should wield it so

How do I stop giving of this power,

this will,

this flow

I have prayed and asked for a gentle loving parting

Now I feel as if my life my very survival is on the line

Although my heart wishes for a parting that is loving

My mind no longer cares

It can be angry parting

My mind is now fighting for me

For my survival instead of against me

Mind body and soul all cry out with deep emotion

To liveI must go now God

Show me the way

Give me the tools to thrive

Take my hand

Walk me out the door

I feel like I have been wandering around with no homeland

No sacred space

No rhythm that is mine

Not because I do not have it but because I have no place to express it

No energy space free of thoughts of those that want to limit me

I want to go home

I want to have a sacred space to hold pure

I want to choose who to allow into it and for what and how long

Maybe I am just too sensitive for this world

Perhaps my prayer should be for a cave

Where I would dwell only with you

See only you

Talk only to you

I know your strength dwells within me

I use it often

Where is it now

I don’t even want to be strong

I want to be away forever from this woman and all who are like her

If she sucked my energy and yours through me and used it in service

Perhaps I could find some basis of understanding

But she sucks it and lets it dissipate and be wasted

She wants me ill so I will remain

It is a sick game

Please give me the tools and understanding to stop it

To end my part

Today

This moment

Let me be free of this

I pray

Engtovo ~ November 6, 2001

Deliver Me Home

Father deliver me

deliver me home

I await your outpouring of endless freedom

It guides me like a lighthouse guiding a ship through dangerous waters

Freedom

as guide?

freedom appears to those who do not understand to be unguided…

But freedom is the only true guide

In freedom is truth, and knowing,

unshackled by the the probable obstacles or limitations of a plan

Freedom deliver me

deliver me home

Return me to that which I know to be truth

For in your presence

I know I have never left,

but have only thought of myself as far from home.

Mother deliver me

deliver me home

In your presence I remember the essence of freedom.

In the call of the sweet birds you nurture,

I remember that flight is attainable and my birthright

When I stand upon your rocky precipice

I see the unlimited expanse of all that is

When I crawl into your caves

I see the inner world is reflective of the same.

The gifts of the planet are brought into the universe through me

and the gifts of the universe are brought unto the planet through me

This is freedom and it will deliver me home

Engtovo ~ July 15, 1999