Whispers seek outpouring of strength
An omen to portend of this time
They cross in front of me
And begin to run
I watch and feel the urgency
Speed and agility in union
Bending to cross the creek
They serpentine to the right and pick up speed
The other moves steadily unaware
They head right for impact
Hit she lay on the ground in shock
Gathering around with good intention
A small group convenes
Is she dead
They ponder her fate
Prayers move off them to her
Slowly she comes around
Moving behind obstacles
Hidden from view
She moves opposite the herd
Away from the scene and the danger
She emerges
She crosses over in front of me again
As she moves through the dirt and mud
That is this road
She trips and stumbles
Then returns to her feet
Her grace strength and stamina obvious
She picks up speed
Still somewhat apprehensive
Now understanding this close call
She moves out to the forest alone
The depth of her injuries unknown
She has survived another day
My heart pours out with love to this sign
This inspiration of divine timing
We all survive each day
Until it is the day we do not
I will take my hits
With some I may trip and stumble
But I will return to my path
And continue with the grace of an Elk

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

The Sword of Power Thus Passed

Red the earth stone
Solid under my feet
Rimmed in spotty green hues
Saturated by the falling rain
Fallen in the night’s passing
My earth glows below me
Filled with life force
Reaching up through my feet
It fills me with radiant warmth
Each step on this trail solid
Moving with purpose
The movement of female force
Strong in its vulnerability
Love is the sword of this freedom
Full expression brought forth
It can find no resistance
For there is no stronger force
Dare one to stand upon this sacred rock
And proclaim otherwise
All who have walked this trail before us
All who come after join in time and space
We raise this sword of love to full strength
And know these truths
Our earth
Our providing mother
Guides our steps
Through her sacred places
I place my foot bare upon her foundation
One by one the others do the same
We speak out with one voice
Sacred place to sacred place
We take our right of flowing power
Moving between us, the earth
And the divinity of all that is
We claim our rights as faithkeepers
As divine grandmothers
Regardless of bodily age
Servants to the whole
The divine flows though us
From spirit to earth
From earth back to spirit
Divine feminine principle
Takes its rightful place
There is no other pathway
It is preordained now
Expressed in blessings for all life
The sword of power thus passed
Universe has ordained
The earth hath bowed allegiance
We take our planet
The power now fully ours
All not in harmony must move aside
Where the power of love is wielded
There is no battle to be fought
We stand unfaltering
Permission granted on all levels
Feet firmly set in stone
Every location now under our command
The future generations of all species
Ours to make whole
There will be no foundation granted
To any energies moving counter
To the divine force of all that is
So be it
The grandmothers have spoken

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ January 8, 2011

It Is Good

Temptation past

To do for

No longer a question

Each will contribute

Equally from the divine

No burdens

Do we carry

There is only joy

Re-seeding all that is good


Requires no sacrifice

Hearts joining

Unison of vision


There is peace

In the sounds blending

Sweetness and innocence

Offered to all

Trust is complete

Above and below


Without separation

The saboteurs gone

Each one is giddy


Hands filled with rainbows

Colored rays

Blending out to infinity

This view has never been seen

It was chosen



And it is good


Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ June 14, 2008

New Earth

Waters move

Mountains reach higher

Some blow their tops

The earth shakes and shivers

Animals sleep

Overseen by divine hands

A world is being reborn

It looks difficult


But it is no different

Than the butterfly

Ripping open the chrysalis

There is already a new earth

It is right under the crust

It is formed

In the image of perfection

Ready to burst forth

When the chrysalis

Is finally ripped apart

Earth mother will sit

While her symbolic wings dry

These continents when dry

Will fill with new life

The humans of the new earth

Will be free

Of their past incarnation as caterpillar

They will not crawl and toil and struggle

They will fly free

With joy

Bringing fertility to the new earth

With harmony

All will live as one

There will be no veil

Between earth and spirit

All creatures

Will feel the full love of creation

The suns

Blue and yellow will shine forth

Their full light

Illuminating day and night

The stars will shine

But there will be no full darkness

Laughter and song

Will fill the night

And the day

The rains will nurture the lands

The snows will fill the high mountains

Springs giving life to new rivers

Flowers blooming

Fruits pouring forth

Skies clear and pure

New earth

With the perfect innocence

Of the fluttering of butterfly wings

Being chased by

Joyous children laughing


Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ June 14, 2008

What Becomes Her

She remembers things

I’ve long forgotten

I thought she wasn’t listening

She was

Where it leads her is unknown

She has floundered

Her pain undeniable

She tries to run

But she ran into the truth

Once I worried

Then I released to higher power

Now I wonder

What becomes her

Perhaps I will never know

In her grows a spark

It may tinder to flame

It may die an ugly death

It is her spark

I give it room

Step back

Watch and wait

There is love there offered

It is abundant and abiding

It resides here

It resides beyond this place

Held out

Waiting to be touched


Swirling around

A whirlwind of answers

Available to breathe in




It is not my journey

Not my denial or acceptance

But I will continue to wonder

What becomes her

With love



Engtovo ~ October 3, 2007

The Song

There is a song in me
Waiting to be sung
It’s words are still feelings
It’s music yet to be received
But my heart feels it
Moving to surface
Once it reaches the surface
And is infused with life force
There will be no stopping it
It will have a life of its own
It spirals through the layers
To bring with it
And message
It is there
In bud
A flower ready to burst open
It has it’s own sensations
But no two people will experience it the same
It is not really for them
Though they may think it is
It may have value to them
But it is for me
A birthing of heart space
It’s life would be fully revealed
Even if no one heard it
I sang it alone
It is a part of my human experience
It will not be denied
It waits
In perfection
For me to be ready to express it
And so I shall

Engtovo ~ May 8, 2006

Remembering How to Be Free

If I were a mountain
I would be the highest peak
If I were an ocean
I would be the very deep

If I were a lake
I would shimmer & shine in the sun
If I were a canyon
I would be the biggest one

Nothing can contain me
This I know is true
Nothing can change me
Unless I allow it to

In this world there is nothing
That is not within my reach
From the tip of every mountain
To the shore of every beach

One thing here is certain
It is the love all around
It’s reflected on the waters
And in the canyon it is found

A dream is just a dream
Until I choose to make it real
When that day becomes me
Only I’ll know how it feels

I’ll sit right here and ponder
All that love changes in me
With gratitude and wonder
Remembering how to be free

Engtovo – October 28, 2005

New Home

A little apprehension
Expression of self in space
In time
Peaceful sacred space
Everything in order
In its place
Arranged to my liking
Good habits form here
For body
For mind
For spirit
There is creativity flowing
The canvas was blank
Now it takes form with beauty
To me
For me
I bloom planted here
Environment rich with love
Vibration is high
View is inspiring
Heart is expanding
I embrace it all
My creation
Outward expression of my faith
My truth
God’s law

Engtovo ~ October 28, 2005

Dawn Of My New Day

Dawn comes to my life
It is a new day
The air is brisk and fresh
The sky is clear
I am filled with reverence
All my yesterdays are gone
I do not attempt to resurrect them
I allow this day to unfold without their interference
The sun lights the way
It glows forth and warms my soul
I feel energized and prepared
This day will be a good one
There is nothing that can change that
I breathe in the gift of life
And acknowledge the moment
The silence is overwhelming
Its peacefulness contrasts the world
Their chaos is their own
Here in the dawn of my new day
There is no chaos in my world
I am free
There is no other sensation
Purity of this freedom is everywhere

Engtovo ~ January 21, 2005

It’s Coming

Trip me up

With these false thoughts

But it is only temporary

Because the change cannot be stopped

It is coming straight for me

And it cannot miss

There is no way to make it veer away or change its course

There is no escape

No place to run

No place to hide

Matters not where I go or what I do

It cannot even be delayed

Its timing is set

I waste my energy in attempts to change those facts

Even though on a conscious level I do not want to change it

I want it

I have prayed for it

The human condition is nothing but contradictions

Things that are good we desire to push away

Feeling unready



Saying why me

When bad things comes we cry why me

How is it we can pretend to be so disconnected

As to even ask why me

Good or bad

It is all as we create it

Why does this change come for me

I asked it to come and proceeded to do the inner work

So how is it that I can not feel ready or worthy

If that were so it would not be coming

It is coming because I am ready

That is the whole point

So now why would I fear that

If I am ready than the change is natural



An evolution that feels good and right

But I choose to attach to what I release and cause pain

How sick is that

That humanity has degraded to that level

Where choosing pain and fear is the status quo

What seems the natural course of emotion at a time of great change

Why not JOY



The earth does not fear her changes

A child does not fear learning to walk

A bear cub does not fear his first attempt to fish in the river

Only humans fear change that stems from growth

Only humans fear the next season

They fear losing childhood and taking on adult responsibilities

Fear growing older

Fear their children leaving them for adulthood

Fear growing older yet

Fear death

But every season brings something greater if we are willing to see it

Experience it

It only gets better

And death becomes nothing

This change is coming whether I fear it or not

Engtovo ~ October 24, 2004

Among The Living

Be counted among the living

Do not be satisfied with existing

There is a whole world that awaits your discovery

It is not as you have been taught

It is beyond the perceptions of the many

But it is yours to discover none the less

It is given unto you by your Creator

It is filled with beauty even while disharmony and chaos ensue around

There is no need to go anywhere in particular

True life exists everywhere

Just see it

Embrace it with a smile and a childlike excitement

You were never meant to toil and struggle

You were not meant to be immersed in pain

Physical, emotional or mental

Look to the moments you see as innocuous

Look to the rainbow that forms for but a moment

The sunrise or sunset

In these moments the veil is thin

The truth is available for you to see

Many have given up even the hope that there is more

More than the obvious pain and suffering

Broken hearts abound

You will have to take a leap of faith

And you will have to open your heart

Be WILLING to see

If you seek proof

If you seek the definitive

You will exist there in that seeking

You will not enter the realm of the living

Walk away from the intellectual

Allow the soul to guide the mind

Instead of the mind controlling the soul

There is a place for intellectual knowledge among the living

But it is secondary to the divine

The truth

The leap of faith must be taken

Believe in love

Place no time period and expectation upon true life

When you do you kill yourself each day

Look to the soaring eagle

It does not need to believe in the wind and drafts in order to soar

It leaps from the tree or cliff and it is sustained with its natural gifts from the Creator

Would the Creator give less to a man than an eagle

True life is there

Every day

Every place

Chose to be there with it

You cannot control the path of others

You should not hold back yourself for them to feel better

Chose to be among the living dear ones

It is indeed a choice

Listen to the heart speak softly

There it will be found

Most, even all, people around you

Will want you to remain in the world of existing

They don’t want to see you live

Because it challenges their denial of life

But this group dream created here is a waste of potential

A waste of love

An affront to all that is truth

Wake up

The living hold out a light for you

To find your way among them

Follow this light

You will not miss the old ways

Even though the intellect and others want you to believe you will

You will not look back with regret

You will look back with only compassion for those continuing to exist

You will add your light to the beacon

And find the joy in each day

Living as your Creator intended

Engtovo ~ July 26, 2004

My Celebration

I have known a long time it would be this way

Why have I had such a hard time letting it sink in

Perhaps it is denial that the time is truly here

A last ditch effort to remain

I cannot remain

I most ways I am already gone

Only my body resides here

I know this should be celebrated

But it is only I here who can see that

I celebrate alone

But only from the perspective of those who know not

In truth I celebrate with many

These ones revel in my success

Free from fear or envy

I long for the day that my heart no longer wishes to carry them

Where my true wisdom has replaced those childish notions

It has been one way that I in fact imprison myself

Wanting to do for them

Feeling always tied

My expression never fulfilled because of a wish to make things ok for them

Now I look only forward

The many who celebrate assist me in this focus

I will revel in my freedom

Without guilt

Knowing I have no obligation

And if I did it would be futile

It is the proverbial cliché

You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink

I have long since led them to spirit

To knowledge of God

I cannot make them believe

I cannot make them go within

They are blind and I cannot make them see

It cannot be served up on a silver platter

So I let it all go

I take the hand of those who know

And choose joy in expressing with them

I will not look back with regret

I gave them more than they in fact asked for

That was my weakness

When I thought it was my strength

And what I thought was weakness

Leaving it behind

Walking away

Taking care only of me

Is in fact the strength that I have just found true understanding of

I will not take their reactions personally

But simply offer prayers of love and understanding

While I continue in my celebration of life

Engtovo ~ July 21, 2004

I Feel Alive

Weariness is with me

But for a short time

I feel it overtake me

Yet I am separate from it

It has my body

It does not have my emotion this time

Emotions are at the surface

But they are allowed

Understood to be expressed

As they surface

There is no force to attempt to contain them

So only the body falters temporarily

There is simultaneously a sense of peace within my heart

An acceptance that this process is coming to completion

It serves the greater good

This lessens the effect

Allows it to pass more quickly

Yet still I am tired of these processes

I wish to have a refuge

A place where my environment gives me nourishment

In these times of transformation

I open my heart to receive this place

A place where I can facilitate this work fully

There are no distractions

No conflicting energies

The schedule and time my own

I can see now it is not much to seek

For a long time I thought it was too much to ask for

But in fact it is so little

The lives of those who care for me will not be changed

In any significant way

My presence will be distant

They will continue their routines as they do now

Very little will change for them with my presence distant

Perhaps at one point that would have upset me

I felt the need to be more important to their daily life

But this has changed inside me

I see they are self reliant

And I am free

To nourish myself

Now only the place is to come

I am ready

As are they

I give myself to this truth

I embrace it joyfully

I allow the excitement of this self love to emerge

How long it has been in coming

All of me wants to participate together

Body, mind, emotion and spirit

The wholeness that is there in truth is being sought by all

Expression comes from all four

To seek one unified life

It is my time

All roads have lead to this place

My heart open

I feel it move inside me

My arms are open wide to the embrace of this new beauty

I breathe in the understanding of it

I feel centered even while the body is still weary

I can feel the end to weariness

I feel alive

Engtovo ~ October 16, 2003

New Eden

A brand new Eden

Grids birthed forth with fullness of light

Beauty and excitement of change and new environment

What is being left behind

Will be remembered but not grieved

It served its time

It supported all life

And gave joy to all who entered

The new Eden will do the same

It is with a heart full of exuberance and joyful play

That I feel the new Eden’s arrival

It is like a birth

A new infant

That will grow over the next 15-20 years into full adulthood and size

It is a co-creation

Of hearts pure in God’s love

An expression of earth and spirit in total balance as one

I seek this new Eden

First in my heart

Then soon in my body as well

It awaits me

Like a true mother awaits the arrival of the child from the womb

I have been spun here in the cocoon of my journey

And I envision the self

I am becoming the butterfly

And the new Eden I will fly over

Flowers await my gentle touch and pollination skills

And I will tenderly stop and enjoy each one

For Eden is joy in true expression

The joy reaches out into this cocoon

And teaches the transforming self

How to use the wings forming

To fly free

To fly home

My creator’s arms outstretched guide me as a beacon

And although I have never been to this new Eden

Already it is home

Engtovo ~ April 9, 2002


Sparks tingle as they fly into the air and mark their space in time

The noise they exude exclaims their emotion of being birthed

Their light bright

It shines across the distance of the night

Humans refuse the spark inside

Always seeking through darkness for someone else to be a fleeting spark in the night

You are the spark

Deny it no longer

Let out the sound of your emotion at the birth of your true spark into expression

Light up the darkness with your light

Fly into the air and be suspended by the divine

Engtovo ~ February 27, 2002

White Eagle Woman

Three feathered white eagle woman

How you soar

The key to your cage

Was always yours

Choice has been evoked

With intentions clear

And the sky is filled

With joyous current to explore

With keen eye

The terrain below is assessed

Living wisdom in expression blessed

Where will you fly

Where will a nest be built

High upon a ledge

Overlooking this place

There is knowing of its essence and embrace

Simple truth is all that is required

And dreamtime work has led to the dawning day

The medicine is strong

The vision clear

Vanquished now are all the fears

No man

Mortal or divine

Could clip your wings

For the feathers three are

Integration of your being

Sun glimmers brightly off your white body in your flight

Reflecting what is pure to all in sight

Three feathered white eagle woman

You are free

Take notice universe of what will be

Return of the white eagle to her home

To the teachings of the Great Spirit and the earth

The intent so pure it cannot be stopped

And flowing of the pure spirit fills the skies

Prophecy now fulfilled

As three feathered white eagle woman cannot be killed

Engtovo ~ December 12, 2001

Nothing Can Corrupt

Sweetness abounds

No controversy can touch it

It is in a place where no fear can tread

Not a place of dreams

But a place of truth

Where the play of consciousness on the planet

Is seen for what it is

Harmony surrounds

No thought word or deed

Can come between the harmonious ones

They act with a single purpose

The benefit of all as guide

Joy in this expression

Is freedom of the human heart

Nothing moves in this space

Other than God’s true love and ideal

Nothing can blacken or dirty the love

Nothing can cause doubt or fear in the inhabitants here

Nothing can corrupt the power that has been given to all

And received in full

Engtovo ~ November 1, 2001


Pestilence, famine, pain, and despair

The earth rocks to and fro

Magma pierces the earth’s crust and spews all around

The turbulence sends the masses screaming for God

Where is God?

With you in every moment

There in your heart

That which you ignored

when it told you to leave this place before chaos ensued

God understands your resistance

God understands the power of minds

And God is where ever you are

There is peace in this place of chaos

There is God’s true vision of something greater

There is strength in this experience

Remember it well

It will serve your understanding and compassion later

Step upon it to uplift you

Listen to your heart

and your chaos will cease

Engtovo ~ September 9, 2001


anticipation fills me

I am ready to move on

the next stage in my journey has arrived

I cannot contain my emotions

adventure is touching me and caressing the essence of my spirit

truth in manifestation breaths forth

I wait no longer

I have stepped off the edge of the cliff and hang in midair

suspended no longer by faith

but suspended by divine law

I hold out my hand and clasp the hand of Divine Principle

never to let go

I pause for prayers of gratitude

I thank the Earth Mother for her patience love and guidance

I thank my Spirit Helpers for never leaving my side

I thank the Totems who walk with me on this journey for their lessons and truth

I thank the God within me for strength and fortitude to make it through

the anticipation begins to rush through and leave me in streams of light that pour like rippled water filling to overflowing the river of love that is my true self

I step forward now no longer pausing for any mortal thought or deed

completely immerced in the divine I have crossed the gap of my thought and acheived my goal

no longer does anticipation own me for now i am filled with understanding of what is to be

understanding emanates from me and and blooms as the rose into commpassion for all living things

humanity calls forth with prayers some God will ask me to answer in service to the all

I willingly fulfill that service with joy

remembering what it is to anticipate

Engtovo~ August 28, 2001

I Will Love

I will love

I am loving the face of humanity

I am applauding the love that people live in a world of pain and chaos

No one would blame humanity for closing it’s hearts in fear

and yet hearts continue to love

to give

to be all that the Creator intended them to be

I have hated humanity

The greed

the selfishness and stupidity

and yet even those thought to be most lost are transformed if their heart opens to love

I have used the flaws of humanity as an excuse to keep my own heart closed

shut them out

revel in my awareness of their ignorance

But in refusing to love them

I refuse to love

This only hurts me

I must accept, grieve if I must

their flaws and faults

and love anyway

refusing to stop loving

No offender ever stopped an action by someone refusing to love them

Only by loving people as is without expectation

do they sometimes change their behaviors that harm the whole and themselves

Yes I love

It is a choice

One that is of God and of survival

No heart refusing to love will survive these times

Even though the times themselves would lead one to desire to shut down

to tune out the pain and suffering all around

Only loving can uplift and enlighten

So I will love

Engtovo ~ May 21, 2001


I am feeling



Dreaming of eternity

as now

here inside

all around

free from your definition

things look bright

I will abstain

from redefining

that which needs no definition

Step up the energy

and remain

in a state of feeling

No need to direct or control

Engtovo ~ unknown date, 2000

Wing Makers

Sanctify me

Give me the breath of life

Turn my face to the divine

Let the birds of faith fly strong and fast

Wings beating effortlessly

Across the endless canvas of blue sky

In true knowing

Bring tears of joy out into the world

To feed the thirst of the parched ones

and the land dried of it’s rightful inheritance by the ignorance of man

Balance of worlds within and without

Turning spheres in the universe of heartfelt love

Open your palm and receive a blessing of truth

hold gently and see the seeds of this truth grow fast into the fruits of abundance

Given freely to all mankind

There is no power, no money, no control of the many by the few

The gift of truth flies free on the wings of faith

Unfettered in it’s endless blue skies

It never tires or becomes the possession of any

It moves onward always in motion

Changing faces and languages

But always remaining true to it’s origin

Take off the blinders and the sky brightly delivers itself into your view

It is the stillness and pureness that is the canvas of self that the truth paints upon

Making wings for each being to move unfettered into knowledge & expression of the divine

Engtovo ~ December 9, 1998