To My Friends

Friends of honor
Friends of integrity
To this day we rise
I come to you in honesty
Offer you my respect
With my heart I offer gratitude
And honor the souls that you are
Sometimes our road is twisted
Mistakes we will make
We honor them all with apology
We ask and then expect more of ourselves
We deliver more
It is in our support and love
We find our way
I thank you for the truths you’ve told
Those I saw and those I resisted
Those that made me cry
For they were offered with love
From honesty
You came to me with heart open
I hold these hearts with tenderness
I know the grace of who you are
It is more than this day
This month or year
The infinite nature of our connection is within
We are those who know and see these things
We journey alone but cross paths
Some crossings are short
Some long
All are significant and enduring
You remind me of who I am
Who I was created to be in wholeness
I do the same for you
This path has been so very hard
Each day you all remind me of its beauty
And the blessings we share
Often lost in the fog of our lessons
It presents itself back to us
We listen and we pray together and for one another
We sit quiet and exchange energies
Near or far there is no distance between us
In moments we may take one another for granted
This is not one of those moments
I am in awe of all that you have accomplished
While a clueless world looks on
They see nothing
Feel nothing
As they sit unknowing in the circle of our love
In the greatest of these challenges
Somehow we have found one another
From across this earth we love
It is the most wondrous gift
May we fill our hearts with magic
Then bless it upon each other
We have earned these blessings
Through honoring each other
And it is with a vulnerable heart
That I choose to give blessings of love
To each and all of you
And hold you in sacred space
Honored to call you friends

Tatiacha ~ March 12, 2011

Elk

Whispers seek outpouring of strength
An omen to portend of this time
They cross in front of me
And begin to run
I watch and feel the urgency
Speed and agility in union
Bending to cross the creek
They serpentine to the right and pick up speed
The other moves steadily unaware
They head right for impact
Hit she lay on the ground in shock
Gathering around with good intention
A small group convenes
Is she dead
They ponder her fate
Prayers move off them to her
Slowly she comes around
Moving behind obstacles
Hidden from view
She moves opposite the herd
Away from the scene and the danger
She emerges
She crosses over in front of me again
As she moves through the dirt and mud
That is this road
She trips and stumbles
Then returns to her feet
Her grace strength and stamina obvious
She picks up speed
Still somewhat apprehensive
Now understanding this close call
She moves out to the forest alone
The depth of her injuries unknown
She has survived another day
My heart pours out with love to this sign
This inspiration of divine timing
We all survive each day
Until it is the day we do not
I will take my hits
With some I may trip and stumble
But I will return to my path
And continue with the grace of an Elk

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

It Is Here That I Am

It is here that I am
Sitting alone in thought
Transitions due
They move in and change me
I see them in force
Look back but weeks
There is another there
She is not I
Painful is the transmutation
Necessary though it may be
This truth must awaken
Embrace this key factor
It is a gift that comes with hard labor
It brings new life
To both the woman
And the innocence returned
The gifts come like rocks
Not like feathers
They cannot sway and swoon in these winds
Gravity drops them hard
They shake me
Cause a human quake
The rocks blast me with intensity
I question my survival momentarily
Then I get up to assess
I am bruised from the battering
These wounds are temporary and self healing
What looks like destruction
Unfolds faults in foundation
The rebuilding is cathartic
Something much greater comes forth
It could never have been seen
Never understood if brought gently
Brought to my senses
It is here that I am

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

Tears of Unseen Emotion

What will be is not within my domain
There are two that set the course of this movement
Reaching out and responding
Healing and seeking meaning
The hurts have not become us
The sense if impending doom is not certain
Vulnerability speaks out tangibility
Things are on the table
It is required
It pulsates out in waves of prayer
Things in silence bring death
My heart cries out languishing of direction
There are no dots to connect
Only space where confusion reigns
Will there be rebirth here in this act of truth
Sadness may instead be labored
The unknown beats down upon me with its weight
Fears submerge me intermittently
That darkness wants to sink me to the bottom
There is understanding beyond
A course must be taken
The winds blow though switching directions
They cannot be ascertained
My heart is at their mercy
I must submit
Something I do with great trepidation
I bow to the power that knows the mystery
Ask of myself trust in this process
Questioning all that I think I know inevitable
The answers are bound to implode
Perceived as good or bad
Beginning or ending embraced with intensity
Followed by tears of unseen emotion

Tatiacha ~ February 11, 2011

Void of All Worlds

Spinning effortlessly into a sea of stars
My mind and spirit fly free of body
I am infinite like all that surrounds me
My perceived self scatters in all direction
I merge into the specs of light
The space between me filled with undeniable peace
All things are born here in the space between
Empty black void of unconscious truth
Still and motionless it appears from any given place
But the currents move out in pure intention
They instantaneously move without perception or understanding
They touch the sparks of light that rim the edge of the void
Exploding its display of color in a multitude of fractal patterns
The patterns build and grow until they circle back
The mind and spirit of the originator receives the acknowledgment
It is intended using the law of no harm
The space between accepts the intention of no other law
The void is alive with and without space and time
From the stars in the galaxy to the place within my cells
There is no past present or future
No tangible or intangible differentiation
Any limitation previous perceived abandoned
I am reborn in this void of all worlds

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ 12-16-10

Arrival

Trampled
Twisted dreams filled with skies falling
Breaking
Rocking
There is no relief
Fleeting from one to another
They are angry
Stopped with regret
One moment of peace moves through
It is still and quiet
Then it all begins again
Arms outstretch to grasp
And miss with slight touch
Pendulum swings back
There is no center
Flying
Suspended
Time stopped in awareness
Chaos ensues
It is below
It is around
It cannot reach in
There is no sense of place
It is endless and immediate
Painful in time
Empty of breath
No sense of landing
Only arrival

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ 11-14-10

Forget Or Remember

What pleases you

To forget or to remember

There is distance

It is unfamiliar

And absence of presence

Unexplained

Perhaps there is animosity

Unspoken untouched

It speaks with silence

But has no power here

Each will do as they will

There is no deviation

There are only blessings chosen

All is well

Some things are understood

Language is energetic

Hold back into the cave

But spring will not wait

There can be no standing still

This is not wrong

Yet it feels not right

Difficulties challenge

We meet these this day

Or we do not

The world continues either way

I will leave it alone

For you to forget or remember

 

Engtovo ~ September 13, 2007