Echoing In The Night

To what do I owe the pleasure

Of an acquaintance from so far

The gifts of unknown prayers

Offered freely and so true

There is a strength that follows

In a line that leads so clear

It offers me solace

In a time that’s confused

The next step is known to me

But alludes me just the same

The process continues

There is no way of knowing

When I will awake

The dream asked me to remember

Not to be complacent

With it came some peace

As well as a need to question

As much as I know

I feel I know nothing just the same

The answers must be in reach

They vibrate in my heart

But will not speak

Actions seem to be missing

Days lead to weeks

To months

To years

There is something more

I want to touch it

Feel it

Live it

There is a sadness in the surroundings

Shut down from life

Hiding in the darkness

I understand it

But it is not my way

Choices made are done and over

New choices are at bay

Sailing with the current

Please set me free

There is a world to see

To prepare

Love to experience

Simple things to discover

Send me a passage

Nothing too obscure

Truth shining bright like lightening

Illuminating the way

I know the path is rarely used

Perhaps hidden in the brush

But I know I can find it

Do not wish me luck

For it is not luck that go me here

Not luck that will carry me forward

But love, truth and prayers

Echoing in the night

Engtovo ~ April 18, 2007

Turtle Heart

She wants to buy me a dress
They are plaid they are woven
She chooses
But no fitting takes place
We move through this place
Some areas complete
Others under construction
She brings you to me
I am in the balcony
You reach up to me
You offer me the token
I give it back
I do not see
I am in my mind
Not listening to my heart
Seeing blocks and boundaries
She takes me in
Places me at your table
You take my hand
And speak your truth
I hear it
It is real
I know it
It feels right
I am overwhelmed
Unable to speak
I want to reach out
But there is confusion
There are people who wish to help
But they are in the way
I don’t understand how I didn’t know
How I could not recognize
The healing of my heart comes from the father
The papers are gathered and
The turtle heart revealed
The gates are brought down
I drink from the fountain
I search for two, no, one
The engine starts without intent
I turn it off with the key
I think I am lost
But I awaken

Engtovo ~ December 29, 2006

Magic of the Merlin

Heart opens to a new pathway
Creator has spoken
The group has responded
They will come from near and far
They carry the staff
Magic of the Merlin
Carefully chosen
Each agreed to take part
The activation is complete
The manifestation is in hand
I have been thrown a life raft of love
To ease my transition to the new life
I wrap myself in it
My pain floats away
Ease is ushered in
The Angels pave the pathway
All life agrees to make way
The dance is active
The dancers each hearing the proper beat
Timing is divine
Names change as people change
Identities shift to meet the new expression
There is no limitation left
What is left behind will survive
It will change
Expand and contract
All without us
It is ok
We have left a mark
The effect cannot be forgotten
Magic calls now
Its effect cannot be ignored
It whispers
It is time

Engtovo ~ December 29, 2006

Haunt My Dreams Again

There in my dream
Thrown back together again
Why
Neither of us know
I think it is you
You think it is me
We discover it was neither
We have been set up
There is a planned merging of energies
And it is a mystery
I awaken
Then I dream again
You are glad I can stand up to you mother
You do not care if we like one another
Only that I can stand my ground
You come behind me and give me a big hug
I awaken
Is there a point
These dreams with you usually come in threes
Is another to come this week
Will it make sense of the first two
I doubt it
Your place in my dreams
It is as much a mystery
As the dreams themselves
Every year or two
Cycles of three
There you are
Some message you offer
And it always escapes me
But leaves me with the feeling it’s important
They haunt me for weeks
Then they fade
My mind moves on with life
Until you show up to haunt my dreams again

Engtovo ~ August 5, 2006

Alone

I can see myself alone
The black box was provided
The preparedness done
The mountains have risen
There are very few people on the planet
Where they are
I do not know
I am alone with some dogs
I have not seen a human in a year
It is just me
And nature
I have plenty of food
I work in the greenhouse
I am alone
I do not dare go far
Because if I am hurt
There is no one to look for me
No one to care for the dogs
I cannot travel with all the dogs
And take enough with me to seek others
I have my physical needs met
Here on the ranch
Will anyone ever wander here
Find me
I imagine horses traveling across the meadow
The dogs are barking
But is it just my imagination
Days go by
Weeks go by
Months go by
Years could go by
And nothing changes
I talk to spirit
Spirit talks to me
Sun rises and I am alone
Sun sets and I am alone
No one seems to be able to reach me
Nor I them
It is purgatory
I project the present onto the future
Now there are people here
On planet earth
But no one seems to be able to reach me
Nor I them

Engtovo ~ June 8, 2006

Great Grandmother’s Box

Open the box
There is thought about what is inside
It is a gift
From my ancestors
But what does it bring
It is positive of this I am sure
For I have accepted it
And I have refused to accept anything negative
But what is it that I am to be offered
What medicine of this family do I need
The grandmother has awakened to me
There is strength and independence there
But there must be more
What is there that seven turkeys bring forth
It is grounded from the spirit this is clear
And it comes upon my release
The energy of it comes with love and anticipation
That I will bring honor to what is inside
That I will use it well
I have never looked to the grandmother in this lineage for anything
But now she looks directly to me
What do you see great grandmother
What do you foresee
Your energy is at peace now
There is no toughness as you come to me
There is a gentle way about you
There is a sweetness to your vision
Step forth with your box
I thank you now
Not yet knowing what is inside
I know it is given from your heart
I know you wish me well
And your desire is to help
And I accept your assistance
Not knowing what you can do
Or what prayer of mine you may be trying to answer
Thank you for your box and your lineage

Engtovo ~ September 12, 2005

Dropping the Cloak

What goes on in the mortal world is separate from me
I observe it
I can even choose to participate in helping those who suffer
In ways that do not cause suffering to myself
I however opt out of their mortal experience
I follow my heart to my divine life
I do not need to suffer because the world suffers
I have no obligation to suffer along side them
No responsibility to try and end their suffering for them
It is ok for me to be in joy while others suffer
It is what my creator wants for my life
Divine principal flowing freely through me
In song
In words
In feeling
In deed
Creativity flows freely
I act out in this creativity with joy
I act in service to the earth energies where needed
I care take the animals where needed
as they are at the mercy of the choices of humans
I embrace my true life
I claim it in fullness
I will not step back or sideways
I walk forward
Dropping the cloak behind me
The weight was heavy and painful
But it was the weight of lies
The lies we collectively carry in the mortal
Mixed with the lies of obligation
Those lies now cast aside
I am free to live my life
Those who choose to judge me simply judge themselves
It is themselves they condemn
Themselves that they believe do not deserve the life of the divine
The life awaits all
It is for all
There is no need or purpose to suffering in this world
We can choose to end it all
By each one of us choosing to end our own
Leaving the planet does not end suffering
For many that choice only brings them more suffering
In the next life
Ending suffering is right here right now
I will begin
I will lead without followers
Maybe one day others will awaken to this same truth
And choose to walk the path the their own divine life
I will pray for them
I will send energy out into the world in my prayers and my meditations
That they can call upon if they awaken
I cannot do it for them
Only leave crumbs along the path I have tread
And welcome them lovingly if they arrive

Engtovo ~ September 12, 2005

Why He

I dream and he returns to me again

The symbology this time is unknown

I am bare but unaffected

Not concerned

Not cold

Not hiding

I am simply there

He is there also

He seems equally unconcerned

He does not attempt to cover me or hide me

We are both in acceptance

Why is it he that comes in the dreamtime

We have no connection in this world

Why does my mind choose him to traverse the other world with me from time to time

Is his journey similar to my own

Is there a kinship of which I am unaware

Does his mind choose me as symbol

It is always spiritual work progressing when he comes into my dream world

I think of so many others who could enter this sleepy world of mine

But they do not

Why is it he that does

Engtovo ~ November 20, 2004

The Forerunner

To be a forerunner

Take the first steps

Open doors

Preserve opportunities

Those who limit have no real power

When the forerunner takes their own

The timing is perfect

It looks last minute to others

They see it as chaotic

But if they could see the atoms of this world

They would look chaotic as well

The pot is full

And there is intelligent action behind the plan

Despite the chaotic appearance

Fulfillment is at hand

Abundant prosperity is available for all aspects to unfold

No brakes are available

Because the movement set in motion earlier

Is unstoppable

The destination programmed

Reaching the destination is inevitable

The consequences of every action of the forerunner

Are not obvious

At the time of action

It matters not

Simply fulfill the role given

And the universe takes care of the rest

The keys given freely

Now live inside

Stepping out toward the horizon

That which is never reachable to most

Is attainable with ease by the forerunner

Faster than the speed of light

Beyond the perceived laws of physics

There are a whole new set of laws available

The forerunner will use them openly

And let the chips fall where they may

Engtovo ~ August 4, 2004

On The Mountain

Hummingbirds, bunnies and lizards

Grouse dance near by

The silence broken only by sounds of nature

The sun goes down amidst smoke of far away fires

A brilliant red orange disc hanging in the sky

As I walk this dusty dirt road

All this gives way to snowy dreamscapes

Where I am guided by an unseen force

Female elder energy drives this bus

She is indigenous

And knows this earth

Obstacles presented are effortlessly traversed

The beacon is turned off

But I have found the man in time

The day awakens hot

But the breeze is sweet on my skin

Hummingbird returns

What is to come is as yet unwritten

Engtovo ~ July 4, 2004

Dream Don’t Haunt Me

Dream don’t haunt me

Allow me to awake

There are many who come and go

They remain connected to me through you

They follow me into my wakened state

Creep into my consciousness

Thoughts linger and distract at times

What be your purpose dream

Symbols are clear and yet

Purpose undefined

What do you wish to convey

Dream don’t haunt me

Speak clearly

Your vision is too small a picture

Show me the fullness

Or go away

Engtovo ~ January 24, 2004

Purification by Water

The wave has come and washed away all that was not needed

It took me by surprise

I had just finished setting up this place

I wondered what had been lost

Questioned

Searched

What survived was pure and white

There was debris all around

But none was mine

I found the poems

The writing

I hoped the new ones were there

I accepted that if they were not it would be ok

Tucked the papers into the notebook

I would look through them later

There were no clothes to be found

I did not care

I look for the cell phone

I hear one ring

It is not mine

But the person calling wants to speak to me

Communication has not been lost

Is not limited

I realize I have my purse

My identity

I have my driver’s license

My checkbook

I have the plane tickets and will be able to return home

I feel no worry

No anxiety

What appears to be a loss is not

I am perplexed at my lack of concern

I feel I have everything that truly matters

I notice the sky is blue

It is a lovely day

Engtovo ~ January 24, 2004

Faithkeeper

The Indian man approaches the women looking for the faithkeeper

Many wish to receive the gift he has for her

It is braided with beads and horse hair

A symbol of her role

None feel right to him as he listens patiently to them pleading their case

I am hidden

I listen

A small still voice within speaks

I think it is me

I peek out

He sees me

He knows it is me

He wishes to come to me

I ask him to wait until I finish what I am doing and come forth

He does

He gives to me the gift

I feel it in my hand and know it is mine

I leave and he gives me a warning

For a moment I question his intention

But then know he is true

I follow his heed

And am immediately shown the truth of his warning

I am grateful

I move forward with this journey

As faithkeeper

One who is charged to remain in the state of peace in the midst of chaos

When others have given in to fear and anger

I will hold strong for my clan

My clan is humanity

The challenge is great

But it came to me

And I must believe that that creator gave me whatever I need to meet it

It is not something I will attempt to do

But simply who I am

I will have faith in all life and

Faith in myself to be true to my nature

The Dog & Eagle have shown me how to traverse the trails of fire and poison

And not be touched

The Eagle showed me that it is alive when I was told it is dead

No one can take this faith, this truth

My clan doubts and fears but I will remain true

It is who I am

I am the faithkeeper

Engtovo ~ January 19, 2004

Dreams

I awaken

Dreams are no more

Those chosen are manifesting now

New work begins in the waking state

Dreamtime has birthed new life

Years have past in the experience of this life

As dreams that have traversed time

Past present and potential futures

Come out now to cement a current path into a world created anew

By dreams shared by many

I welcome these dreams in their perfect outpouring of expression

Each one was tried and tested in multiple forms

before it proved itself worthy of physical manifestation

Dreamtime now changes forever for me

The time comes

where I will remain in the conscious dreamtime of earthly life always

Never will my body sleep allowing spirit to play out all the scenarios

My scenarios are all played out there

Now only the embrace of dreams manifest is left

I have awoken

I meet the energies of creation directly

I no longer hide in the symbology

of my subconscious connection to the divine

I have enjoyed my dreamtime

But it will not be missed

As awake time fully conscious is where joy

and true unlimited expression are the foundations for service of a larger calling

Heart needs no escape

No reviewing

God love leads the way with peace

Goodbye dreamtime

Welcome dreams to earth

Blessing to all participants

I stand freely before my Creator and greet my chosen destiny of dreams

Engtovo ~ August 16, 2003

The Road

There is a road that winds around the bend into a new life

It is my road

Freshly paved

Free of pot holes

It is smooth easy travel

I have been paving it for years

Once I have traveled it the road will remain

If others find it

They are welcome to travel it too

The new life I am paving my way to

is one that is new only to thought in this body

It is a life I have lived before

But it has been changed forever by the experience of the road

The people in this life remain true to themselves

It is I who am different

But they accept these changes within me as a gift to the whole

This road is blessed and ordained

The bend is the last one

For after this curve is the final stretch of my road

It is straight and fast

As I round this bend I can catch glimpses into the new regions of the road

And it is a sight that is unlimited

I remain committed to my travel

I am not weary

Even though body, mind and emotion has previously led me to believe I was

My spirit has endured and has ample energies to continue to my destination

After all it is my road

I never stopped building it

And the road itself has already reached the destination

It is only the conscious mortal being that is still traveling on this journey

It is laid out and simple

I only need allow myself to see to the horizon of this road each day

For there are no surprises here

Nothing my spirit has not already seen while building this road

My job is simply to travel upon it grateful to my spirit

For the fine job it has done in construction

No fear need enter thought

For the road is perfect

No emotion or experience need I worry about

They have all been accounted for

No tiredness of body will stop me from reaching the destination

For the road is no longer than my body can endure

I have paved my own pathway

And now I journey upon this road with gratitude and grace

Engtovo ~ December 12, 2001

I Am The Eagle

I am the eagle

I sit high in this tree

Holding forth my white flag

I am spotted

At first embraced with a smile

But then you walk away

And into your tattered house

I am observing from my perch

The now desolate grounds

Of a once magnificent property

The waterfront looks out to the mountains beyond

Now the trees are dying

And the underbrush is gone

The logs of the unfinished estate decay

Windows are boarded up in some parts of the house

It saddens me to see the state of this once incredible place

I can simultaneously see it’s potentialI feel the responsibility for its condition

I feel the pain that has brought it to this expression

I’ve come to ask forgiveness

And to understand that you have responsibility here as well

I have been shouldering the burden of decay alone

For this I must forgive myself

I am the eagle

Spirit free to be as I am

I embrace myself now with a smile

My return to the nest is a joyous one

I accept the grace offered me

I let go of the expectations of self

Requiring me to be more than any mortal eagle can be

I free this shadow self to fly

I understand that it is simply part of the experience of all in mortal

I am no better, no worse

Love fills the skies all around me

Waves move through me and my nest

They transfer into me this grace and understanding

They restore what decayed from guilt and self loathing

From my perch up high

In this tree that is bridge of earth and sky

I test my wings

The pain that has kept me from flight

Eases away

Prepared for flight my wings have been renewed and repaired

I take flight and sore free

For I Am the eagle

Engtovo ~ November 14, 2001

Running For Home

She is gliding effortlessly

Loyalty sprints beside her

Leading this journey home

There is mastery of this loyal spirit

An expert in protection

A knower – feeler

She has no problem expressing herself

The journey is fast

Faster than her mind understands

It is easy and familiar

Even though it is new to this one part of herself

The road turns from city shopping and chaotic traffic

To quiet gravel

Leaves ablaze with color

Running for home with her loyal companion

Not running away as she has done in youth

Not running in fear

But joyously running to

Both sides of the road are rimmed in orange

Surrounding her with the color of creation

She could keep this pace indefinitely

But there is no need

For with that thought she has arrived

Engtovo ~ November 1, 2001

Seemingly Peaceful Environment

Seemingly Peaceful Environments are all around

What is in the houses I see?

The discord hidden from view

but there none the less

No assistance is sought

The doors are locked tightly

the shades pulled

Who will know if help is needed?

Communications are shut down with any who would understand

but left open with those who will not question the inner workings

I stand outside and yell “hey! What’s happening in there?”

I get no response

I return every day and yell again

After a few weeks someone peers out from behind the shade

I return day after day asking her to come out of the house

Eventually she comes out onto the porch and talks to me

The conversation is light and not greatly significant in nature

We speak every day for a while

The subjects start to get deeper in nature

One day when I arrive the shades are pulled

and the door is locked tightly again

I stand outside and yell “what happened”

There is no response

I wonder if i have the energy to continue coming back every day

I see people walk by unknowing that there is anything to pay attention to

Will she ever come back out?

I’m beginning to wonder if I care anymore

Perhaps the discord should remain hidden from view

I wonder why I have spent so much time

I will no longer coax her out

If she chooses to stay locked inside ignoring the world

I will allow it to be so

I showed her the beauty available

and she chooses to remain in her limited

seemingly peaceful environment

Engtovo ~ August 30, 2001