Whispers seek outpouring of strength
An omen to portend of this time
They cross in front of me
And begin to run
I watch and feel the urgency
Speed and agility in union
Bending to cross the creek
They serpentine to the right and pick up speed
The other moves steadily unaware
They head right for impact
Hit she lay on the ground in shock
Gathering around with good intention
A small group convenes
Is she dead
They ponder her fate
Prayers move off them to her
Slowly she comes around
Moving behind obstacles
Hidden from view
She moves opposite the herd
Away from the scene and the danger
She emerges
She crosses over in front of me again
As she moves through the dirt and mud
That is this road
She trips and stumbles
Then returns to her feet
Her grace strength and stamina obvious
She picks up speed
Still somewhat apprehensive
Now understanding this close call
She moves out to the forest alone
The depth of her injuries unknown
She has survived another day
My heart pours out with love to this sign
This inspiration of divine timing
We all survive each day
Until it is the day we do not
I will take my hits
With some I may trip and stumble
But I will return to my path
And continue with the grace of an Elk

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

Flip of Polarities

Can there be a time for which
Bottom is top and top is bottom
A flip of polarities found with ease
Transition of energies sure to please
I sought out this flip from near and far
It makes sense to the heart maybe not the head
Restores grounding to some if not all
Those who resist will surely fall
Like looking though a window
The view is clear but with boundary
There is protection within this place
Of those outside there will be no trace
Trembling the earth as energies flip
Physical and emotional tied together
We change ourselves we change our world
Oceans of water inland are hurled
Look to the tragedy should you desire
What looks bad may very well be good
Open hearts are freely dancing with the flow
Dark forces now have no choice but to go

Tatiacha ~ January 8, 2011


Twisted dreams filled with skies falling
There is no relief
Fleeting from one to another
They are angry
Stopped with regret
One moment of peace moves through
It is still and quiet
Then it all begins again
Arms outstretch to grasp
And miss with slight touch
Pendulum swings back
There is no center
Time stopped in awareness
Chaos ensues
It is below
It is around
It cannot reach in
There is no sense of place
It is endless and immediate
Painful in time
Empty of breath
No sense of landing
Only arrival

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ 11-14-10

Mandlebrot Quickening

The general question was does it get easier?  I know I haven’t talked in depth about some of the stages below in the quickening, but if you haven’t already check out that mandlebrot video on the blog.

Some parts continue to be hard and some parts you get used to and they rarely effect you like they once did.  So how’s that for clarity  LOL  On the physical side I find that some things lessen like I have had this issue for about 20 years where the left side of my back will just seize up and leaves me in massive pain.  A long time ago that could happen and it would leave me down and out for a couple weeks.  Now when it happens, it is a day and half to two days, because I figure out what I am in resistance to, process it though, and as soon as I do the spasms start to release and it all goes away.  So the physical stuff changes but then your cycle increases so sometimes it seems like the psychical stuff is worse.  Like before the kundalini opens a normal person has that seven year cycle where the body renews/ replaces every cell in the body.  After the kundalini opens that increases… oh this is yet another thing I was going to write about on the blog, it is connected to the mandelbrot video I put up there one day let me grab the actual numbers  ok here it isWhen the kundalini opens that changes you to a 5.146 year cycle of renewal so you can process more crap in less time without killing yourself with cancer or something

Then when you reach the inner circle /nirvana/samadhi stage it goes to 4.268 years

Then when you pop open your sphere it goes to 3.278 years

When your sphere is fully golden it goes to 2.794 years

When the linolic flow opens, which I think is what we determined happening to your recently, it goes to a 2 year cycle and you enter the final purification.

Once in the final purification stage how fast it increases depends on how much you have to clear in there I think last time I checked I was cycling at about 30 days and that is harsh and at the same time you just gradually get used to it, as you move through it, so it seems normal even though you have these days or a week that are filled with physical or emotional challenges.  Eventually for a Dharlja their cycle is every 22 -24 hours which is why they at that point need no sleep and only need 2 hours of mediation per cycle so they try to be in meditation right when they hit that zero point in the cycle which if you watch the mandlebrot thing it is right when you get to the original mandlebrot symbol which is a big black blob.  So if you are getting really stressed you are and are not coping well you are likely getting close to the end of a cycle as things move quicker and going into meditation and visualizing coming into the void black space of new beginning helps move from one cycle to the next.  Even you were on a one year cycle if the whole month before you cycle ends you specifically do meditation to assist in moving toward that void it will be easier.  Considering how fast you went from sphere popping to linolic I would certainly guess you went whipping past the two year mark almost immediately.  I don’t know if you really experienced that blissful nirvana stage they allowed me to stay there for 2 days I think it was!  They didn?t want me to get stuck there because it’s so wonderful you would never want to leave.  But the up side is when you get to the Dharlja stage you are cleared and you get that bliss back only with immortality and a bunch of other cool stuff LOL  For me from then into the final purification I had a greater sense of flow that some of it was lost in the purification for times and now seems to come and go depending on what I am clearing.  There were times really early on in the sphere stage where I could just open my mouth and wax poetic about God in a way that is hard to even remember now LOL  The final purification stage though is what was attempted to be represented by the story of Jesus going out for the 40 days and 40 nights and having to face down satan.  If only 40 days and nights in the desert could do it I would have been done a long time ago.  The speed at which you are passing through these phases is staggering so I wouldn’t be discouraged by the fact that it has been a really hard period of time.  For most people trying to do it at that speed would kill them and then not knowing what all was happening to boot  I can’t imagine how hard that is because spirit instructed me though each phase they told me I couldn’t stay in nirvana, that we were popping open the sphere, to get it clear, that took several days, when to make it golden etc.  So I knew what I was going through I think I may have gone insane if I was completely unaware of what was happening!  So know that just your faith in the process and continuing along at such a pace shows what a strong soul you are.  Spirit always says when I have a bad day and want to give up that I wouldn?t be so tried and ready to give up if I wasn’t almost there!    So no losing faith now you’ve already been through way too much, so just get used to reminding yourself that anything that comes on any level that is unpleasant is temporary.

New Earth

Waters move

Mountains reach higher

Some blow their tops

The earth shakes and shivers

Animals sleep

Overseen by divine hands

A world is being reborn

It looks difficult


But it is no different

Than the butterfly

Ripping open the chrysalis

There is already a new earth

It is right under the crust

It is formed

In the image of perfection

Ready to burst forth

When the chrysalis

Is finally ripped apart

Earth mother will sit

While her symbolic wings dry

These continents when dry

Will fill with new life

The humans of the new earth

Will be free

Of their past incarnation as caterpillar

They will not crawl and toil and struggle

They will fly free

With joy

Bringing fertility to the new earth

With harmony

All will live as one

There will be no veil

Between earth and spirit

All creatures

Will feel the full love of creation

The suns

Blue and yellow will shine forth

Their full light

Illuminating day and night

The stars will shine

But there will be no full darkness

Laughter and song

Will fill the night

And the day

The rains will nurture the lands

The snows will fill the high mountains

Springs giving life to new rivers

Flowers blooming

Fruits pouring forth

Skies clear and pure

New earth

With the perfect innocence

Of the fluttering of butterfly wings

Being chased by

Joyous children laughing


Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ June 14, 2008

True Woman


Presentation skewed

By a brainwashed populace

If woman is soft

She is weak

If woman shows strength

She is hard


A bitch

But woman is soft

Softness is her strength

It is where her knowing was born

When she presents truth

It is met with anger

Because the sheep

They are used to lies

It allows them to sleep gently

Truth dares jar them awake

They blame woman

Say she is harsh and nasty

Woman responds

You sleep little sheep

Truth it simply is

They band together

Attack woman more

Listen to nothing

Man comes along

Says same thing woman has said

Sheep worship him

Think he is strong

When he only stole woman’s words

Think he is kind and warm

While he lies

And takes their power

No wrong can be done by man

In the world corrupted by shame

No right can be done by woman

In the world corrupted by shame

A woman cannot lead

In a world of brainwashed sheep

Woman expects them to think

To participate

Man says only to follow

Soon women attack woman

Following the lead of man

Eventually the only women still on earth

Living the truth of woman

Keep silent

Knowing none can hear

Pray and wait

One day man will show himself

That day

True woman will come forth

Children will be taught

The truth of woman

And the truth of man that was lost

And women will be women

And men will be true men

Balance will be found


Engtovo ~ March 2, 2008

Last Vista

Vista ridge encompass my heart

Encircling my personal sphere

Every direction and offering

A gift

Beauty in pure form

Movement is constant and rhythmic

Changing the nature of each day

Storms roll in and purify

Then give way to glimpses of more

Those lost in the fog may perish

Too foolish to see the last breath

It’s here

We are witness

Expansion fills all my perceptions

It stops for no one

Waits for none

It spirals to its destination

My heart welcomes its vastness

There is no wrong way to look

Just look

Blood circles out and around the world

Not the blood of war

Not the blood of death

But the blood of life





Life force

Red blood of the earth

Physical gives way to that which is greater

And is transformed immortal

Take it all in

This is the last vista of what is

The change complete

Different and equally beautiful

The heart documents these last moments

To be honored



So new life can begin


Engtovo ~ December 23, 2007

Parched Souls

Moon rising high on branches stilled

Snow hangs tenuous

Light catches the crystals glow

And sculptures are born of natures flow

Solstice night brings rebirth of days

Crows cawing overhead beckoning me to see

Beyond day into night

Moon shadows cast across this landscape

Beyond the shadows

Sparkles twinkle

Like reflections of the stars above

We move from one timeline to the next

As beings dance below this sky

Manifestations born in joy

Breathe beauty into parched souls



Engtovo ~ December 23, 2007

11 Days

11 more days

Until what is unknown

The number pops into mind


Leaving me to wonder


Not a week

Not two

Why does instinct taunt me so

Will I just wait

Will I attempt to figure out my clue

Matters not

The outcome will be the same

11 days

A master number

Symbolic of spiritual event

11 days

One and one is two

Simplistic by nature

A grade schooler will understand

A joining

A reflection of duality

Perhaps a balancing of male and female

The clue is lacking

Day count

T minus 11

Engtovo ~ October 31, 2007


Imprint of longing

Lingers upon waking

Gentle energies ease me as I lay

Comfortable and warm

I seek to remain

Bundled from the life of the day

Time so swift

I am swept up in her current

The clock changes

But I am in a place separate

Minutes are hours

Here consciousness wanders

There is no destination

No path

Random shifting of sands

This is the float of my thought

Heart touches out to eternity

Then loops back to me

For a moment I awaken

Then fade

It is sweet and embracing

Alas body breaks the feeling

Makes demands of this world

And I succumb

Engtovo ~ October 3, 2007

Creator's Battle

If we play by the numbers
There are many who say
The cycles will reveal
What is brought this day

The nine year of completion
Has brought us to rebirth
Bringing a new opportunity
To build a brand new earth

The prophecies are spoken
The time is upon us now
But everything is different
Will you ever notice how

There are those who argue
Those who cry and then
Some are eyes wide open
Aware what happens when

They are touted as insane
Ignored at the very best
But they will stand laughing
At the ignorance of the rest

Revealed are all the truths
The inner most thought
Of Creator’s manifestation
Of warriors who fought

They were not of world wars
They were not of anything
They followed in their heart
Whatever the Creator brings

The victory came swiftly
Though the battle was long
The pain quite overwhelming
The battle now has gone

Engtovo ~ September 10, 2007


Alas there is change

It is the moon of change

The cycle shifts us all

Some feel it some don’t

But make no mistake

You have been shifted

We move toward the equinox

The beginning of the first full cycle

The fifth world moves me

To lead with energy

This equinox it begins for me

I am in preparation

These changes in this moon

Set the stage

Place me ready

I agreed to do this

I am in harmony with it

I welcome this moon

Move the tide of me

I am fluid

Free to flow with the universe

This endeavor

Is perfectly aligned with these cycles

It is glorious

I feel the hearts of all who will participate

The Earth mother holds us

Her arms are strong and steady

Her cycles guiding us

Are you ready

It cannot be stopped or held

Any more than we could keep the moon full

My power is gifted in perfect synergy

To the power of a union of spirits

Together change moves through us

Change resisted brings pain

Give yourself to the flow of Divine Love

Release the pain

Animal brothers and sisters listen

And I listen

A song is sung

Peace becomes them and me

The time is here

The change is upon my breath

I welcome it into my words and deeds

Engtovo ~ January 24, 2004

Shifting By Choice

This time is busy with process

Pregnant with possibility

Healing takes place in waking and sleeping time

I do not know all that is healing

There is too much to keep track of to fully understand the depth of

I know only that it is the appropriate time and place

I allow this to commence

It is good

I embrace each passing day as it lifts from me old thought

And leaves me feeling the new energies that I am becoming

At moments I am overwhelmed by the immensity of what is passing

Or perhaps the immensity of what I am becoming

I am uncertain which is more in my heart in any given moment

I just feel the shifting

It is like the sands of the desert

The configuration at any given moment is not definable

And yet there is comfort in the knowledge

That the shifting will continue

I cannot sustain the same configuration

And that is good

I am always changing

Parts blow away as the winds assist my shift

Those parts are no longer needed

I do not attempt to hold them to me

There is freedom in this shifting

No expectation of sustaining one way of being

Those parts of me that think they should sustain such are weary

They are giving way to the winds


I sigh in relief

Give over to the natural flow of the universe

Allow me to be that which is right and perfect for the given moment

I am able to receive in this space that which is needed

To be of service to the whole

And give away that which will serve as well

There is a remembrance of this way of being

It is barely below the conscious surface

It is bubbling up to be known

My heart is welcoming it

My mind is starting to welcome it as well

My life is becoming the truth of my true desires

Empowered by my Creator

Not by my old and tired way of thinking

It is as if I have reached the 100th money of my own thoughts

Those in alignment with Creator begin to propagate themselves

And crowd out the old

They grow exponentially

The old thoughts see their own extinction

They do not even bother to fight for their lives any more

They are resigned to their demise

They are influenced by the new way to understand

Their demise is in the best interest of the whole of this being that I AM

I have made a choice and I have made it many times

As many as it took

Now the truth of this choice

Is creating me

My life

My future

My service

It is the force through which the Creator is shifting me

My choice

It is the orderly random chaos that is healing me

Bringing me to the divine state of balance that is my birthright

Allowing the spirit of the Christ within me to stand forth

In true expression

For that is the choice made

Engtovo ~ October 15, 2003


Receiving and giving

So often presented as giving and receiving

If we do not first receive from the Creator what is it we give

How do we sustain ourselves

Keep from giving the vital force that keeps us alive

We must first receive and be comfortable in the receiving

Allow ourselves to overflow in the Creator’s love

Until this love flows unto those around us

We have been taught to live up side down

That it is more important to give

This was not a teaching offered in malice

It was a teaching offered to show us how to be unselfish

But spiritual energies are not Christmas gifts under the tree

When we give energies we are then depleted if we are not properly receiving

We cannot simply return to Wal-Mart to buy a new gift for another person

In spiritual energies we must in fact be first selfish

If we are not we are not truly capable of helping others

We must bring in these spiritual energies from the Creator

We must choose to see ourselves as worthy of all this good energy

From this place of filling full


We are then free to give, knowing we can not be depleted

For we are continuing to receive in every moment

The journey to knowing our worth

Is our journey to allowing ourselves to receive in fullness

We hold ourselves separate from the Creator

We feel we do not deserve all of the Creators love and energy

We think that if we give and do good deeds we will become worthy

In so doing we become tired and weary

expending our limited amount of vital life force

Many die in this process

Never understanding they are worthy

That they do not need to give away their life force to prove their worth

But in fact the Creator desires to fill them with life force in every moment

In the process giving us the ability to truly give to others

without giving our life away

We have the right and inheritance of life and this is the right,

In fact the responsibility, to receive

To be vital in this life and flow that vitality out to all life

without losing it for ourselves

This nourishes all other life

As the Creator directs it to us to nourish our life

It is the cycle of life

We must receive and give

Let us stop giving and receiving

For once we have given

The receiving comes too late

We are sick


Void of faith

Or dead

Let us choose life together


Engtovo ~ October, 15, 2003



Somehow what mind wants to see as complications for my life

My spirit knows is simplifying my life

This seems so incongruous

Houses, properties, accounts

More things to care take

Will serve as tools of simplification

And yet the peaceful sensation of this life I manifest

Does indeed feel simple

Perhaps the simplicity comes from putting this life into a form

that allows me to be free within it

Creating a pure structure that I can move within

That no longer requires me to create continuously new structures

I am anxious to experiment with this new structure of simplicity

to feel each softly contoured edge

Time no longer spent on thought of organization

Frees my mind and expression to be in the joy of simply pleasures

A moment with another being

An outpouring of creativity

Raising my voice in song

Putting my pencil to paper

Life in the moment with no need to serve the future with thoughts and knowing

My structure is beyond time and space

Ah simplicity

I am simplifying

Through adding instead of subtracting

Even with understanding the concept feels odd

And yet clear and defined

Another shadow turned to serve the light

Glorious it is

I allow it to be so

Engtovo ~ August 16, 1003

The Last Minute

Last minute organization

Feels good

Feels right

Things in place

Orderly thoughts

For a spontaneous life

There are no limits here

The plan is at hand

What was once obstacle

Has been removed

I glance around the situation

And everything falls into place

Not everyone is flowing freely

Without resistance

Yet they move into place

What appears last minute

Has been in progress for years

In gratitude I bless the passage

The stepping stones

Have all been placed

At the last minute

And I will cross the river

I am no longer afraid of the emotion therein

It can sweep me away if that’s needed

Many stand upon the banks

To retrieve me

At the last minute

If I am immersed too long

Or the rapids are near

Divine timing is at hand

And it is the right timing

Clearly in retrospect of all that has passed

It only appears here in the fog

To always be

The last minute

I trust that all will appear

At the exact minute

It is truly required

Engtovo ~ November 9, 2002

Where Will My Foot Fall

Tell me self

Where will my foot fall next upon this journey

What place will I call home

Where does the creator ask me next to serve

I stand ready

My bed is made

It is filled with softness

For gentle slumber

That prepares me for each new expression

Dreams manifest with healing waters of emotion

The flow comes from within

And reaches out to touch all that is

And collapses back upon itself

With transformation of thoughts and feelings

The balance I prayed to find

Crept in and attacked by surprise

Sending my consciousness into a state of healing chaos

The chaos came with divine order

Clearing out all that stands in the way

This answered prayer

I greet with a heart of thankfulness

It is from this place

That I call for knowing of the next phase

Where will my foot fall

For that is the place

I will next lay my head

The foundation I will use to serve my further growth

A place I will pool my reserves

The rhythm that will serve the love in my heart

Give me a dream this night

To shine the direction my journey now takes

Show me where my foot will fall next

Engtovo ~ October 24, 2002


Gentle rains

Come forth to move across parched land

Each drop caresses the plants

And the earth receives the gentle blessing with open arms

Joy ensues

As the drought ends

Life takes root once again

And grows into a new expression of beauty

Time passes with ease

When it’s allowed to

Old pains fade away

And leave only a uncharged memory

Just like the damage from the drought

Disappears with the new rain

Nurturing of self

Can take the same ease

Ending harmful thought

With the gentleness of silence

Engtovo ~ May 24, 2002

Presidential Folly

Presidential folly

illuminati thwarted with delay

life sacrificed to no avail

evil plan ripped to pieces

angelic host preparing for rebirth

2 years are given to the few…the proud… the deceived

Come home

all aspects of the creator

Come home

rest in the arms of the divine

The illuminati are lacking illumination

hence they must fail

No say We The People

freedom liberty and truth are…

not given by the constitution

not given by the courts

not given by the laws of mortal man

not given by illusionary border

They come only from the divine and

cannot be taken, stolen, sold, traded or expunged

cannot be controlled by governments, organizations, family, friends or enemies

what is God’s will prevail

what is mortal illusion will fall away

leaving only truth

Engtovo ~ November 11, 2000

Night Sky

Scarcely does the moon

spread it’s rays of reflection

through the winter sky

clouds masking the glory of it’s devotion to the sun

and the light it provides

I walk amongst the cool breeze

in this moonless night

waiting for the slightest touch

of a ray broken though into sight

A dreamscape it could be

so distant in it’s calling

no stars to call me home

no wishes to make on those falling

I feel the beating deep in my heart

as it sheds it’s own reflection

pure and truer than a sun

I bask in it’s glory

Rays shine out from within

up into the clouds

they create a cloudless sky

with stars and moons alight

Unlimited in their power of illusion

the pictures change and grow

into a sky of everything good

the universe has ever known

I sit on a rock

and relax myself for the endless array of joy and beauty across the sky

right up until it’s day

Engtovo ~ unknown date 1999


The earth and her leylines carry me through to every new place

Where her energies shimmer with her love and her light

Guiding me gently to open new doors

Bring forth the new space, lifting the vibration

Stepping up the joy

Circling clockwise, circling counterclockwise

Joining in an endless dance of spiraling perfection of life

From the DNA within me, a call shouts forth

Calling to the vortex

Joining our sacred spiraling, calling forth our galaxy

To come join us in this dance of the creator’s love on the planet

Bring the universal down to dance beside me

Like a father with toes to step upon

And the beautiful mother our earth watching triumphant

The swirling

And dipping

And singing

The grace and humor as father and divine child play in the purity of energies

Bringing all this joy deep into me

Through the doorway of love, given of the great mother

The universe comes into me, into my DNA

Where the dance with the father continues it’s movement

Swirling and dipping its infinite song of wisdom

Into every part of my being

Telling me stories and giving me visions of a new way

To live the whole universe

With feet dancing on the earth

As I leave the vortex

For which I’ve been blessed

I take with the lines that I will hook to the rest

Forming a web of joy and love around the earth

This dance of love will be our rebirth

Engtovo ~ November 30,1997

Truth & Illusion

Where is the line between my truth and my illusion

How do I findwhat in truth

leads me homeand what serves as my distraction

How much time and energy do I give figuring out things

that do not need to be figured out

What is the essence and true focus

synchronicity creeps into the scenario of the mind’s thoughts

right beside of sequence

The mind continues on an endless quest

for mortal thoughts to convince itself

that the divine nature of self will never come to full expression

It plans

and attaches

and plans some more

tomorrownext week…month…year

Looking ahead to endless years of mortal living

leaving no room for the divine to take hold

Effort once again

of control

comes forth to guide the next step into dissatisfaction

that will serve as proof

that the true divine is still far out to sea

on the endless thoughts of this active mind

Why do you bother with these games you play with self

know you not that soul’s plan is truly followed

the illusion of your control is your greatest folly

The mortal must give way

when the divine pushes out

it has no abilityto stand and fight

The divine expression is inevitable

and happens behind the back of the mind

so to speak

while it flounders on endless thoughts

of control and distraction

Continue my dear and loving mind to distract yourself

for while you were thinking

the soul moved out into full expression

and moves in and through you

changing you evermore

Engtovo ~ September 13 1997

Cycle of Creation


think wisely

dream again

think not


talk wisely

whisper again

talk not


play wisely

love again

play not


plan wisely

Laugh again

plan not


judge wisely

enter again

judge not


act wisely

be again

act not


dream wisely

complete again

dream not

Engtovo ~ April 6 1997

The Golden Light

Gently floating to the sea

a group of angel friends and me

We came upon a waterfall

graceful as it made it’s call

Across the bridge we dared to go

entering right into the flow

My soul became the drops of rain

up to the sky and down again

Spraying up upon the plants

The tiny leaves begin to dance

They take me deep within the stock

down from there I begin to drop

Into the earth I then flow

when I get to the spring I sparkle and glow

From here I look upon the sky

the place of creation for you and I

The angel friends begin to sing

the bells in the wind begin to ring

I keep on going on like this

not a creature or plant will I miss

The oneness of all I have learned

brings me the peace for which I’ve yearned

They gave me the gift of the golden light

deep in my soul it feels so right

I come back to my body filled with love

thank the angels from up above

Go back to my busy worldly life

filled with craziness and strife

But every time I want to cry

the angels all begin to sigh

Call on your gift of golden light

it’s always there to serve you right

We came to you because we care

call on the light when life’s not fair

Now it lives deep within your heart

but you must call to do your part

You’ll have the peace you always sought

all of the battles have been fought

Welcome home to the mother’s arm

ignore the sirens and car alarms

You hold the world in your hands

we want to make sure you understand

If you ever stumble at all

the golden light will catch your fall

The golden light is the greatest gift

allow the angels to give you a lift

Allow this gift to be received

and you will never be deceived

This is all we have to say

your angel friends will call it a day

The Angels ~ October 4, 1994