Comment on Old Ways: Directions

I read this article I found from facebook post it is interesting but seems odd to me from how I work.  I would never base the energies of the elements I called in based on the terrain of a particular place.  LOL 

For me Earth must always come first she is the starting place (the east).  She is the basis of all life and to me should always be acknowledged and brought forth first.  Followed by water to the South the place of highest energy in the northern hemisphere.  When the sun is farthest south is our time of greatest growth.  The majority of our body is water and water is the element that represents our emotion.  The element of fire is the west, the place where we transmute our emotions when the day is done and learn from them.  From the fire the smoke of our transmutation rises to to north the place of the element air where there is no physical form any longer, the place of spirit.

I’m curious about how other people do it?

Many modern practitioners call Elemental energy from each of the directions when they cast a circle. The most widely practiced form of this tradition is to call Air from the East, Fire from the South, Water from the West, and Earth from the North. Many practitioners also add Spirit as a "fifth Element," sometimes calling it "from Within and Without," sometimes calling it from "Above and Below," sometimes asking specific gods and goddesses to join in their right, and sometimes (whew!) simply representing Spirit themselves.

More… Old Ways: Directions

Dead Birds & Fish

States; Arkansas, Louisiana, Kentucky and Texas, Maryland, Tennessee, Florida
Other Countries; Sweden, New Zealand, Brazil, England, Japan, Canada, Argentina

As usual with the lame stream media we are given two choices for these deaths

A. Some crazy supposedly scientific explanations that make no sense. Fireworks scared them?  Seriously why do we not have these mass bird deaths every New Years and 4th of July then.  They ran into power lines.  Come on birds deal with power lines daily!   Storms, yeah that’s the ticket, never mind that there were no storms in the reported areas.  The birds were to be found to die of traumatic injuries.  In other words they flew into something or simply fell from the sky and went splat. 

B. You are just a fanatic looking for the apocalypse.  The fuel for those heading to the fanatical extreme and those who are more reasonable is not that there are these groups of deaths that occur occasionally in a random location,  It is that there are so many mass bird and fish deaths in many locations all over a 4-5 day period of time.  Not over the course of a year for example.  There is also the fact that a vast majority of the bird deaths occurred in the overall New Madrid / greater gulf region.  How can any reasonable person not ponder what the hell is going on.

How about these more likely scenarios

C. The powers that be are playing around and testing dangerous technology they are keeping secret.  I suppose we are supposed to believe that could never happen despite decades of proof of it happening over and over.

D. There are magnetic or other energetic anomalies happing in and or around the earth that may have serious consequences but are not “the apocalypse”  but simply a natural phenomenon that happen on a cyclical schedule that we are not aware of.

We may not have the answers, but not to question would be grossly irresponsible!

 

Georgia Scientists Investigating Large Bird Kill – 11Alive.com | WXIA | Atlanta, GA

Flock Of Birds Found Dead In Wilson County

http://www.wsmv.com/news/26379609/detail.html

Mystery bird deaths in Sweden add to unexplained US, New Zealand finds

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/mysterious-bird-deaths-in-sweden-add-to-unexplained-finds-in-us-new-zealand/story-e6frf7lf-1225982852074

Hundreds more birds found dead in western Ky

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/05/AR2011010503976.html

Mysterious bird kills may be linked

http://www.fox19.com/Global/story.asp?S=13786203

Second State Has Mass Bird Kill

http://www.wsmv.com/news/26359153/detail.html

Dead birds in Louisiana; dead fish in Maryland, Brazil and New Zealand

http://www.examiner.com/us-headlines-in-national/dead-birds-louisiana-dead-fish-maryland-brazil-and-new-zealand

One Hundred Tons of Dead Fish Wash Ashore in Brazil, Is It Related to Arkansas Dead Birds?

http://www.hispanicallyspeakingnews.com/notitas-de-noticias/details/one-hundred-tons-of-dead-fish-wash-ashore-in-brazil/4012/

‘Carpet’ of dead snapper on New Zealand beaches

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/breaking-news/carpet-of-dead-snapper-on-new-zealand-beaches/story-fn3dxity-1225982188696

UK news of dead birds, fish in Sweden, Arkansas, Louisiana, New Zealand, Brazil

http://www.examiner.com/uk-headlines-in-national/uk-news-of-dead-birds-fish-found-sweden-arkansas-louisiana-new-zealand

Now East Texas also reports hundreds of dead birds

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7800408-now-east-texas-also-reports-hundreds-of-dead-birds

Two Million Dead Fish Appear in Chesapeake Bay

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/01/05/national/main7216597.shtml

40,000 crabs join slew of animal-death mysteries

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/916503–40-000-crabs-join-slew-of-animal-death-mysteries

The sky isn’t falling, but the animals are

http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/bs-ae-animal-apocalypse-20110105,0,3263104.story

Hundreds of dead fish ‘a natural occurrence’

http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2011/01/04/16757321.html

Cold snaps blamed for dead fish found floating in Spruce Creek

http://www.cfnews13.com/article/news/2011/january/190246/Cold-snaps-blamed-for-

dead-fish-found-floating-in-Spruce-Creek

Mass animal deaths go global

http://tvnz.co.nz/world-news/mass-animal-deaths-go-global-3993294

THOUSANDS OF BIRDS FALL DEAD ( SOUTH AMERICA ) – Could it be related to 7.0 in Argentina?

http://www.ratedesi.com/video/v/gdKUcF5RPoA/THOUSANDS-OF-BIRDS-FALL-DEAD-%28-SOUTH-AMERICA-%29-Could-it-be-related-to-7.0-in-Argentina

Govt – 3,000 AR Birds Fell Dead From Sky From ‘Fright’ (sure)

http://www.rense.com/general92/fright.htm

Artifacts of the Past – Processing Memories & Being Present

What does it really mean to be present in the moment? I was just reading an article this week about the health benefits of being in the moment and these being the moments of greatest joy. I agree with this perspective but also wonder how many people are really able to be present in any given moment. The article talked about sex being one of those moments that people are most present. Obviously there is a physiological response that helps that process along during sex, but there are plenty of people that say their mind is wondering even during sex, or that alcohol or drugs are required for them to be present during sex. I honesty feel you can’t be present in the moment while under the influence of alcohol. Alcohol is more about removing all moments, past, present, or future and just numbing the senses so that nothing need be felt. Feeling nothing is really the opposite of being present in the moment. There are other mind altering substances that actually do tune you in to the current moment though, and for some of us may have even taught us how that should feel so we could take that knowing and bring it forth into life when no longer using them.

There seems to be a trend of teaching that says; to be in the moment is to completely let go of and release the past. I don’t think this is possible or desirable. Healing takes place when we acknowledge fully all our thoughts and feelings without judgment. More often than not, we are not able to be in that state of mental and emotional awareness while experiencing certain life events, and that ability only comes later. The idea that loving positive memories from the past should be let go of, would be met with an enormous amount of resistance. Somehow we think we should pick and choose which memories to cherish and which ones to discard because they were unpleasant. While I am all for cherishing the great memories, it is actually the difficult painful ones that offer us the greatest gifts in life. Instead of discarding and dismissing them we should consider feeling them. Allowing the emotions we refused to feel at the time to surface and be acknowledged so we can receive the gifts they offer.

Recently I had a short exchange with a friend about the loss of a child, and where that fits into a person’s world view on life. Certainly it is one of life’s most painful moments and societal expectations are to get over it and move on. Moving on happens whether we get over things or not, life continues with or without healing so it really isn’t about moving on. Moving forward truly is not optional, it will happen with or without your conscious participation, and with or without you being present in any of those moments that come. If you allowed yourself to feel that pain then instead of discarding it, releasing it, letting it go, being over it and every other cliché we offer, it integrates into a part of who you are and offers you understanding and wisdom. We all have aspects of the past that we integrated because they refused to go unnoticed and we have things that lie in the silence. It is the ones in the silence that poison us from being present and joyous in the moment.

When my daughter was stillborn when I was 22, that pain was too big to be shoved into the silence. It changed me and I have no intention of “getting over it”. It was the greatest gift of my life in ways I am always discovering. I am who I am and the gifts of this loss are a big part of that. That experience opened my heart, both the pregnancy and the love I had for my child, and the loss, in ways that I had never experienced before. It birthed my compassion, put spiritual knowledge I already understood into context, showed me why I had always been a pacifist, taught me to truly stop and value all life, & uncovered my real relationship with the sacred. These things only scratch the surface of what this one horrible life experience brought me in gifts. None of these things are things I should or would ever want to release. This is part of me and a damn good part. It was one painful past experience that was transmuted into knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. This one life event is responsible for countless moments of being present and joyous in the moment. Moments when you know you are not running from anything, not hiding anything.

Processed past pains are our very wisdom, the reason why the elders were respected, why they seemed to intuitively know what would happen next. When you have allowed these things to ingrate, the more obvious are the outcomes and motivations of the actions of others. The generation that comes after may or may not seek the wisdoms we carry, and even if they do, are not likely to heed the advice given. There is truth in knowing when to shut up and allow them to have their own experience. Still there is peace in seeing what is to come for them and knowing where to place yourself to offer love when the now obvious happens. Why would we want to discard this, one of life’s most precious gifts? Processing and integrating the past is not the same as dwelling there. If we were to be only a series of moments with the ones past not part of the picture the creator would not have given us memory, or would have created separation between physical memories required for animalistic survival skills and emotional memories.

We are souls in bodies and the purpose of souls is to experience and grow and learn. Attempting to discard things simply doesn’t work. Letting go of the trauma of an event, transmuting it, so you are not living the reflections of that trauma in your current choices should be the goal. That requires looking at it, feeling it, accepting it, no matter how heinous it may be. Is your present something you are conscious of, a reflection of an artifact of the past, or some combination there of?

Some events in youth may send us running and spiraling out of control and onto paths that we made no conscious choice to take. They can take over aspects of our lives with some seen, but that feel uncontrollable, like addiction, and others so stealth that they may take a very long time to surface. Running away makes you unable to make a choice from your true spirit instead of making choices because of these silent artifacts. The things left in silence do the most damage and steal the most from our lives. They are the things inside us that cause us to act out in ways that cause ourselves more pain and cause us to hurt people around us that we love and consciously don’t want to hurt.

Sometimes we have gathered all the puzzle pieces but we are not ready to put them together yet for things we have left lying in that silence. They may have brought forth an illness or series of illnesses and that is one puzzle piece. Addictions may be another piece. Repeated patterns recognized a third, and so forth and each of these pieces of your life is recognized and being worked on but the puzzle picture, how they go together is just not available. I’ve talked quite a bit on the blog of getting at core issues and these are no easy task because these core issues are the puzzle picture. Even if you have the picture some pieces on the surface just don’t seem like they could possibly have a place in the puzzle. It’s frustrating to have an overview and see how some of the parts go together and still feel like you just can’t get at the rest, those connecting points are missing, hiding, and there are times you are still acting in a way that you know is not in harmony with your true desire. These artifacts are still making some choices for you and stealing life force and expression of love and intimacy in your life.

We can be diligent in our healing, open, honest and have an area we cannot seem to progress in. I’ve watched many a friend go to every kind of spiritual, emotional or alternative healer on the planet dealing with a chronic issue of one sort or another. It has its physical components, as well as emotional and mental elements and they are well aware of this. They can’t get at the core but somehow they think eventually they will find the right healer. Core issues can’t be removed from you or simply taken away. If they could my ever present and wonderful spirit guides would have lovingly and willing done so for me a long, long time ago. Watching me limp through the steps and attempting to give me insight or encourage me to feel different aspects that they knew would take me in the right direction has been a mainstay of our relationship. As hard as it is for those of us on earth, I think we discount how difficult it is also for those on the other side who love us and want us to live an integrated life consciously choosing joy. I still recall the first day one of the guides told me “choose joy”, I was PISSED, I said “joy is not a choice, you either feel it or you don’t”, they responded “no it is a chosen perspective that comes with wisdom in each moment”. I couldn’t even conceive that we had that choice because my whole life was under the influence of these artifacts of the past that become our victimization. They assured me I would get there one day, which I did not believe; I thought they were in no uncertain terms “fucking crazy”. LOL

The closer I get to the core the more I know they were always right, Joy is indeed a choice we make, and in order to consciously make it in each moment we have to integrate our artifacts, transmute them into gifts and wisdom. There have been lots of themes running through my life of late that are all gradually tying together one is the “there are no accidents” theme. This kept coming out of my mouth with several different people and so obviously I need to apply it to myself.

For years I would get an email here and there from someone I know on facebook inviting me to join. For some reason I have had this aversion and was determined to never do so. I had multiple blogs, a website, and memberships at more sites than I can count. I couldn’t think of one good reason why I needed or wanted another. My whole life is already plastered all over the internet from the intimate moments of processing through my poetry to the excruciating journeys in my automatic writing. Why did I need yet another internet point to keep up with? Then last month another reminder to join came from my friend Dinah and spirit said “do it”. I really didn’t want to and in retrospect I find it no accident based on past conversations that I have had with Dinah about the core issue I am currently integrating that it should be her energy that spirit used to pull me forward. So I gave in and joined facebook. Dinah and I have talked about elements that held us back in areas of our lives that we were aware of yet couldn’t get past completely for some unknown reason. I thought at the time, here is this extraordinary woman, this beautiful soul, talented, smart, wise, why should she be experiencing these limitations, it is not right! Spirit said at the time “ahem back at ya”. Why should you be experiencing your own limitations? “Dig deeper”! Like every good seeker on the spiritual path I processed what I could at that moment and procrastinated as much as possible til later.

Eventually later arrives and smacks you upside the head. After a year and a half of being sicker than hell laying in bed praying for either healing or death, and at moments not really caring which one, apparently later has arrived with a vengeance. Good thing the universe knew me well enough to know that the death part was not really what I wanted long term, but there were moments I wondered if I was going to get that anyway. But there are no accidents and that illness was a puzzle piece in my healing process that was not about the illness itself but the artifact in the silence that was surfacing. It is certainly no coincidence that this illness of sub-acute thyroiditis sits at the throat chakra, energy center of communication. Could there be a better place to physically manifest the imbalance being caused by stealth silent pains of the past? Things unspoken do not all hold equal weight. Some can become insignificant over time and hold no energy, but others can kill you, kill your relationships, kill your desire to live or love. They will insist on coming out until they either do or they’ve killed you and done a lot of damage to others in the process. The pain and illness along the way are often not even from the silent issue itself but from the resistance placed upon keeping it down in the silence. It takes a lot of subconscious effort to keep these things in hiding, energy that could be expressed in loving joyous ways.

Now that I had joined facebook the inevitable “where are these people from my past” bug hits. It’s like a facebook disease, a car accident you can’t look away from. You can’t help yourself, after all they may be just a click or two away. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the damn cat has nine lives so what the hell. You are not thinking about what may surface you are just doing what you do on facebook, there is that damn search box right there taunting you. Now I know that there are people who have lived their life in the same place who know exactly where every person they have ever known is, therefore they are immune to the facebook disease. I have however lived a crazy gypsy life in these 47 years and there are far more people who I have no idea where they are and what they are doing than those I do. For whatever reason (no accident LOL) I immediately went back to “the old neighborhood”.

A year after my parents divorced my mom and I moved from the burbs of Minneapolis out to Seattle. I turned 13 that summer and my mom and I found a house up near the zoo. Over time a group of friends formed there in the neighborhood that went through a lot together. We all had all kinds of family dysfunctions and we were a bunch of 70’s potheads who got into all sorts of mischief. By today’s standards I guess we were pretty tame really. We were not violent or destructive in a societal way, any destruction we had going on was all internal as we each tried to deal with the pains we didn’t talk about. We were a pretty tightly bonded little dysfunctional family and for most of us I am not even certain how we lost touch with one another in our 20s.

I really have positive memories of the times we all spent together despite the fact that we were all running from something or another, and were pretty out of control as all our parents no doubt would attest. My mom worked nights and so it was my house that became the hangout place. My mom thought to herself at the time that at least she knew we were off the streets if we were hanging out at the house. People used to sneak out and come over right after she left for work. She was right, in that we were physically safe, we just listened to music, smoked pot, and some nights made large quantities of cookies, cake or whatever sweets we could conjure up. It was a five bedroom house so she gave us a room to be our place we called it the “party room”. One day we asked if we could paint and she agreed giving us the credit card to go buy whatever paint we wanted. I don’t think she had any idea what our concept of paint meant at the time. We spent weeks working on the room; there were probably seven to ten of us involved in one way or another. The ceiling, a deep dark blue oil paint as base, was painted with the most amazing galaxies, nebulas and spaceships all in various glow-in-the-dark colors. That in it self with a little Pink Floyd was pretty awesome, but once done we started on the walls and covered them with optical illusion graphics, the roadrunner and coyote, band logos etc. As we got further into the project my mom started to realize that there was more then met the eye with several of my pothead friends. There were several that she always liked but there were a couple that she wondered if they had any redeeming qualities and couldn’t figure out why we were friends. I can’t say some of us were not asking the same question at times but we were a little family so it was almost like asking why someone was a sibling, the answer was “they just are”.

I can’t say exactly how we all came together, some of us went to school together but others didn’t it just gradually happened and this group of people became a piece of me; art music, profound musings on the meaning of life, time in nature, hilarious laughter, and whole lot of teenage and 20 something stupidity. We shared so much, but it was all that we didn’t share that comes to the surface now. For whatever reason this group was predominately male and predominately Leo with six or seven birthdays all falling within a three week period of time. (Not including my mother and my mother’s current boyfriend at that time also Leos with the same birthday) Being that I was one of the only girls in the group and a shy Cancer, getting a word in anywhere was always a challenge, unless they really pissed me off, then they heard about it and there was no confusion whatsoever. I think perhaps I left far more unsaid than all my crazy Leo brethren, but maybe not, after all they were usually all taking turns on stage, as it were. It did help set up a pattern though where I had to be angry before I would speak my mind which was not healthy for me. By the time I was that angry a lot of damage had already been done and sometimes I never got to that point and the things were simply never spoken. A lot of things went assumed between us all and those assumptions were left to live as if they were truth.

Searching facebook was not very successful overall for that group, many have common names with hundreds of results and without having a current location, there is no real adequate way to filter them. Many people go on facebook and have their public profile so controlled that there is no way to assess if it is the person you are looking for or not. I did however find the person I was supposed to find because, lets say it together, LOL there are no accidents! This person was my best friend. I didn’t think consciously we had any unresolved artifacts lurking in the silence, didn’t think about it at all in fact. I just thought I think that’s him and what the hell has he been doing all these years? So I sent a message and he replied and it was indeed him, and we started to chat about what we had both been doing and it was nice to reconnect.

A few days later I was hit with this heaviness, a grief that I did not understand. As I started to get in touch with that it was apparent that we somehow wandered out of each others lives without conscious participation. Life just happened and we didn’t talk about the things that were happening then in our lives, we just allowed them to send us along unknown pathways with complete disregard for the years of friendship and love. We were clueless that we were allowing life, through the expression of running from these unhealed energies, to remove us from a piece of our own life puzzle where it would then sit unattended and unacknowledged for 25 years. Too young to think we were doing anything out of the ordinary or with any consequence. With all the time I have spent on this journey I was astounded that I could have a piece of my puzzle shoved that deep to not even know it existed. Here it was though, a significant person in my life lost that I never grieved for, there was no death, no moment of departure, no fight, no choice to end a friendship, only behaviors that led to a gradual parting that neither of us were consciously aware of. He remembers it as me disappearing from his life and not knowing what happened to me. I only remember seeing him a few days after the loss of my daughter and being in such a state of raw grief that I felt disconnected and didn’t have the slightest indication I would never see my friend again. Here, slapping me in the face, was an artifact of the past that had managed to escape all detection. Puzzle pieces start to collide together and I can see some things all too clearly.

First I felt the need to apologize to tell him that whatever out of control things I did along the way stemmed from things that came before I met him that he never knew of and whatever damage I may have done in the process of my running had nothing to do with him. He doesn’t remember what those things would be, but I know I left a path of destruction and there certainly is no way he escaped LOL I am the one on this insane healing journey though so he may or may not ever remember that. In any event it had to be said because I do know that things I did are in there somewhere and even if I didn’t apologize now I’ll be doing it when we both get back to spirit, so may as well seize the opportunity.

This was a puzzle piece that took me back to a core issue that I have been aware of and consciously working on since day one on this path. It has annoyed me with its insidious ways, when it is at the same time too blatant and obvious. I have always had to seek out all these tentacles of this issue and the more I find the more there are. I no doubt have automatic writing on this issue that I did not post online and my frustration with spirit of why in the hell I can not clear this. What is left, how can there be more? How did this one thing get so much control over me? I have cleared hundreds of other things that go back further and appear more multidimensional. Even now there is one part of me that doesn’t want to talk about it, that screams SHUT UP, every time the subject comes up. But it is not me and I will not shut up or cower before an artifact of pain. I am too powerful, I know too much. This artifact has been lying to me my whole life about everything that I am. Even when I was aware enough to recognize the lies, they continued, they eat at your heart, your soul, your mind and body. As I have gotten close to the core of all this, it is my physical illness, my emotional dysfunctions, the root of many fears, guilt, shame, and self hatred and addiction. One unspoken trauma sending me into an out of control spiral of life choices that are not representative of who I am.

All of us interested in healing have these traumas of some sort or another; this one though has its damage in the silence, more than the act itself, and lack of appropriate feedback because of this silence from adults who knew better. In the year between my parents divorce and moving to Seattle my mom and I lived in an apartment complex outside of Minneapolis I was in 7th grade a typical 12 year old in most ways. During that time I was raped twice by a 17 year old who lived down the hall, while the 15 year old who lived on the first floor watched apparently learning how this is supposed to work. Because I was a kid who knew nothing, I really couldn’t connect that forced sex was “rape” I think I had some sort of TV idea that rape was being pulled into some alley by a stranger and ending up beaten to pulp in a hospital. After the first time he told me this would never happen again and I was young enough to believe him, only once though! This led though to me taking the responsibility for what happened. I believed him therefore it was my fault. I never told my parents, never told anyone until I was close to 30 years old, by which time I clearly knew it was rape and that it was never my fault, but the damage was already done. That’s a really long time to hold that inside. The damage done by taking responsibility and never getting feedback that is was not my fault was debilitating. The shame and self disgust overwhelming but I knew then what I had been running from and the running had to stop and the healing begin.

Part of this final puzzle piece that came to surface in finding my old friend on facebook was in realizing that all those boys who shared my misspent youth assumed I was a virgin during those years and that in that shame I let them think that. It was easy, there were no questions. To them I just became the girl, the virgin, that wasn’t going to consider having sex with them and they gave me space. Inside I felt dirty and not good enough and as the years passed and I was trying to find my own sexuality and where that fit in to the whole that is me I spun more and more out of control. The lie did more damage the older we got. Eventually I had to have sex with someone I didn’t care about, and who didn’t give a damn about me just to have it over with, with a person who didn’t care who I had ever slept, how, why or at what age, so there would be no lie there in that experience. That out of control decision obviously solved nothing and maybe made things worse or validated some of that shame and guilt I carried. It wasn’t really possible to maintain intimate bonds with a secret that big that goes to the core of who I was. I “moved on” to people and places that didn’t make me feel like a liar but without conscious awareness held on to the shame, guilt and self hated.

Spirit taught me how to speak, how to share things I wanted to keep buried. It was no easy task and I resisted every step along the way and that has caused me all kinds of physical, emotional and mental pain. I’ve not been an easy student at times but eventually I get there. There are gifts still to be awakened in integrating the million insidious aspects of this rape and silence, allowing this artifact to have its place in my consciousness and serve me in a positive way. The first came in learning how to set boundaries, how to fight back, to stand up for myself. Something I am now very good at. I don’t know what all the others are at this moment, some may be things I know about myself but have not yet connected to this core. Others are yet to come because so much of this energy is only now forming a full picture and is in the process of transmuting. All artifacts turn to gifts when given the opportunity to do so. The closer to the core, the more pain that has to be moved through, but the greater the gifts, like being present in moments of joy without shame and guilt. The road can suck, but the destination is worth the difficult journey. Being free of the past is not letting go as we are so often told, it is embracing and giving every aspect of it a part to play in an integrated whole. Receiving the gifts therein free you only from the pain and suffering while allowing the memories to stay and serve you with grace.

The Oil Spill & The Call To Sanctuary

I got this email a couple days ago

Just wondering if you have any thoughts or insights to post on your site on the singularity development in regards to to this disastrous oil gush.

I hadn’t given much thought to how the pressure building within the earth for her expansion would effect oil and gas wells before this oil volcano event that is occurring in the gulf.  Spirit has talked a lot about the pressure of rising magma on regular volcanoes and that when the brunt of pressure reached a certain level we would witness many volcanic eruptions in a short period of time.  It only makes sense that the oil and gas pockets in a certain area would be effected the same way.  There is another well in the north sea that the mainstream media seems to be carefully avoiding talking about so no one will ask the question “why are oil wells suddenly under so much extreme pressure?

The current bunch of stories like this one

http://www.enn.com/ecosystems/article/41347

say very little, the original story I saw which I can no longer find showed the platform on fire and surrounded by ships attempting to put it out.  Maybe these were two different incidents and the other one was covered up completely?  At any rate we have intense pressure in two offshore oil regions.

The well in the gulf is very deep and happens to lie right on the tip of one of the first expansion points that will rip open.  It will start in the gulf and rip open through the New Madrid fault system.  All the continents will experience these rips within current plates in an expansion event as well as inter plate rips under the ocean.  For North America the New Madrid area will be the largest inter plate rip.  With this being also seen as one of the first rips to occur, the pressure building in the area is immense.  As the pressure builds further we should expect to see some other deep wells overwhelmed and gradually wells that are shallower.  We could also see some natural gas explosions in the producing areas of the south as well as more of the mud geysers we saw a few years back in Oklahoma that go hand in hand with all New Madrid events, but they will be much greater at this point.

Not to take any responsibility away from BP, as they were drilling at a depth they knew they had no business drilling.  Oil leaking from the ripping expansion points was inevitable.  Because we have wells they were destined to be the first point of exiting oil under pressure.  If they had not been drilling this particular well the first oil pressure explosion and opening rift may have happened in late July to August of this year instead of spring.  The powers that be know of the pressures happening inside the earth.  They have a great deal of scientific data, and all those with access to it are under high level clearance and do not have permission to say anything.  There are people who knew that the result of this drilling would open the rift before it would happen on its own.  They continued anyway.  They are fine with the death or sickness this is creating, and they hoped that opening this rift would release enough pressure to allow them to continue getting oil out of their other wells for as long as possible.  What it may create though is unnecessary precursor quakes along the New Madrid system.

We are in the throws of an extinction level event (E.L.E). So these things are to be expected.  It is difficult and tragic to watch any event that will cause a great loss of life whether that life is human or animal life, but there is more to come.  This is not a set of ordinary earth changes this is an EXPANSION EVENT.  It was an expansion event, not a asteroid or comet that killed the dinosaurs.  Even though this is a E.L.E.  life will go on for the great majority of species, including humans, that is the purpose of the sanctuaries.  There were sanctuaries created back at the time of the dinosaur event.  At that time there were no Dharljas or Avatars from this planet and Avatars from worlds with similar atmospheres came and created the sanctuaries.  Many aspects of this planet (the whole solar system) were experimental and so it has not followed the pathways of many other planetary systems.  The dinosaurs were not included in the sanctuaries because it was determined that they were too large of a species to inhabit a planet of this size, so they were allowed to go extinct.  Most events that have caused smaller extinctions have simply been allowed to follow their natural course of events without any interceding.  This event however is much too large and could cause the end of all human and mammal life without the sanctuaries.

It has been pretty common knowledge through the last 2000 years or so, to those who sought the understanding, that there would be great loss of life at this point and that there would be great “sickness” of the seas and other bodies of water.  This is the start of this “sickness”  We only have around 6 months to singularity and there are very few timelines left to collapse.  The powers that be are desperately attempting to manifest the timelines with the most destruction of human life right now because they truly believe they can be the survivors of this E.L.E.

Let me just say this; no planetary expansion on any planet in the universe has been survived underground.  The force required to bring about the expansion is far too great and even an underground space that survives intact will be filled with too many poisonous gases for a period of time for them to be cleared out before death occurs.  Even underground animals will leave their dens and attempt to survive up top.  No amount of air purification systems will be adequate as there will be breaches in even the best system it is just not possible to be underground. 

But hey… powers that be… feel free to give it a shot :-)  your returning to spirit no matter what you do anyway.

I sure don’t mean to sound morbid or doom and gloom because I am not.  I know that the work that has been done and is still in progress in relation to protection and survival of species through this event is going well.  There are even species thought to be extinct right now that are in fact not extinct at all and there are breading pairs available to protect.  There will be many sanctuaries created.  The vast majority will be unique ecosystems of wilderness that can be held intact for the species living there and will not include mortal humans.  There will be a group of sanctuaries that will be places for humans spread in areas around the world that have a few things in common. 

  • Good soil with low levels of soil contamination
  • Abundant water source
  • Abundant variety of plant species
  • Food growing capacity
  • Abundant wildlife
  • Will be above sea level when things are settled
  • Are within what will be the greater tropical zone of the new equator after the expansion since the event will bring with it a small ice age as things settle

The sanctuaries will be spherical, so they will go into the earth and into the sky and become contained biospheres of life.  Oceans could wash right over them with no effect.  They will free float within the earth crust and so earth movements will be minimized, and will have their own environment and weather systems until the planet has settled and they are able to be released.  A few will have more than one sphere hooked together.  The spheres will vary in size and the human carrying capacity will vary based on the ability to sustain all the species in a given sanctuary for the time required in the particular area.

Ahmuganhai has been sounded!!! 

This is the call to sanctuary.  It is a call to individuals.  While multiple individuals in one family or group of like minded friends may all hear the call it is a call to each individual person.  If you attempt to bring people with you that have not received the call internally they will not make it to sanctuary in one way or another.  Loving someone does not mean it is their path to rebuild the new world.  All who hear the call should be in sanctuary by singularity January 20, 2011 if they want to do it with ease.  After that you will have til June 21, 2011 to attempt to find your way into sanctuary but it will be difficult with all the events that will be happening 

No one can tell you were the sanctuary you are being called to is.  If you have heard the call you will simply go where your heart is saying to go!  Some places of sanctuary may seem contrary to the mental.  The call to sanctuary is based on vibration.  No one below a certain vibration will come to sanctuary period.  The dark is being cleared from the planet and the rebuilding of human society will be done by the highest vibration beings and then those who are light but still working to build up their vibration will be born back into the world highest vibration first.  While those of a lower light vibration will work through things in sprit waiting for their opportunity for a body.

We are on the verge of a large North American event that will change all our lives.  It will be the first domino for those of us living in the United States and Canada.  I hope those of you receiving the call are prepared and I don’t mean for the physical survival, I mean mentally and emotionally as prepared as anyone can be for such events.  You will be required to make choices and move within that atmosphere to get where you need to be so detachment to as great as extent as you can detach is your greatest tool through these events.

I’m looking forward to seeing familiar faces that I have not yet met in this body.  It’s been a long time coming ………….Ahmuganhai

Engtovo

Ahmuganhai Pronounced: ahh mahh gahhn hey

 

More detail on the singularity from January of 2009

http://blog.spiritnexus.org/2009/01/21/president-obama-timeline-singularity/

More info on timeline collapses from December 08

http://blog.spiritnexus.org/2008/12/14/earthquakes-time-line-collapses/

More on the sanctuaries

http://pages.spiritnexus.org/earth-changes/earth_change_news_2009.htm

 

Keep these dates in mind  I personally was given dates in between many of these for some specific earth change type events but I have been told they are for me alone.

July 17-18, 2010 Carl Johan Calleman Breeze of Unity Consciousness

Nov 2, 2010 The 6th night ends all preparedness needs to be done

January 20, 2011 We enter the Singularity all other timelines will have completed the collapse process.  There will only be one timeline at this point through to Venus Transit, at which point we will be offered a few possibilities specific to the earth and things will begin to branch out again.

March 8, 2011 Carl Johan Calleman  Universal Wave Movement

May 21, 2011 While I don’t read much Christian stuff I found a couple dates on a site I came across interesting they are taken from dates projected out in the bible.  This date is the projected date of the “judgment day”

June 21, 2011  Spirit says by this date everyone needs to be in sanctuary that is supposed to be there.

October 21, 2011  The same Christian info has this date as the end of days

October 28, 2011 The Carl Johan Calleman end date of the Mayan Calendar which corresponds with what I have been told for years.  Spirit has always said it would be done and over by the 12-21-2012 date in fact they said it would be all said and done by the second transit of Venus.

June 6, 2012 2nd Transit of Venus

A Transit of Venus happens four times every 234 years! They come in pairs, this one is the 2nd of the pair the counterpart on June 7, 2004.  

The last pair of Venus Transits were December 9, 1874 & December 6, 1882

The next pair is December 11, 2117 &  December 8, 2125 Then June 11, 2247 & June 9, 2255 based on our current calendar which will not be valid IMO so this and all other aspects of the solar system will all be changed along with time itself! 

The fifth world energies hit winter solstice of 1999.  2004 was the first year of the new world, as Venus, the planet of Divine Love transited between us and the sun in June of 2004, an eight years gap to this second transit.   These are the 8 years in which LOVE has changed the very blueprint of our planet, our solar system, and this universe.  This new blueprint it what is manifesting NOW!  At the time of the second transit the 1000 years of peace prophesied by so many cultures truly begins. 

by the way wordpress is now putting big ugly google ads right in all my blog post which I hate with a passion so please bookmark http://blog.spiritnexus.org

Clothes Size Insanity

Over the past 20 years I’ve been aware of how they have gradually changed the size of clothes so that bigger women were wearing smaller numbers.  Men don’t have this issue since the size they wear is not a random number for them but their waist size and inseam.  I find it really annoying that the media bombards us with images that most women don’t resemble and then manipulate things like clothes sizes to try and boost the self esteem they just bashed into oblivion.

We all know women who will say “oh I wear the same size I wore in high school”, well guess what honey, in case you don’t own a mirror that means you are about 20 –25 pounds heaver or 4” bigger in the hips and waist.  Before my thyroid went haywire I had gotten to 118 in 2002.  I didn’t buy any new clothes because I thought I would still lose more and get down closer to what I consider my normal weight around 100 pounds.  I knew the clothes sizes had changed but since I was wearing leggings I had no idea what my actually number was or what it would be at my normal weight.

This time around now that I am healing I speculated that perhaps I would wear a size 4 if I were at the 100 pounds of my youth.  Imagine my surprise when I found a Wal-Mart clothing size chart a couple days back and found the actual measurements of different sizes.

In my late teens and through to about the age of 26, I weighed between 99 and 103 and I wore a size 7-8 and depending on the designer sometimes a 5-6.  I measured about 331/2 bust 23 1/2 waist and 34 hips.  So I look through this new chart and the shock of how much they have changed sizes sets in as my measurements in some categories make a size 2 the size I would be wearing by today’s standards!

A woman’s size and woman’s petite size 2 is 32 1/2 bust  24 1/2 waist and 35 hips my bust was bigger than that and that is still an inch bigger at the waist and hips than what i was.

So I scroll down to the juniors and a size 3 on that chart is exactly the same.  Then they have something called Metro 7 women whatever the hell that is, and it is my old bust size of 33 1/2 for a size 2, but the waist is 26 and hip is 35 1/2  WTF!  Then one last thing on the chart is junior Elite  where a size 0 yes that right ZERO has my old waist and hip size but a bust of 31 1/2. 

SERIOUSLY??????? can this be for real  I was not the thinnest girl in Seattle when I was 20-25.  I had some fat on me in fact, (that’s why I had boobs apparently) not a lot and it likely would not have been there if I had worked with weights but still I had some.  I always thought back then that I should be a size 5-6 and I didn’t think my body was good enough!  I actually thought my waist should be 22” LOL

Back at that point there was no such thing as a size zero and a size two was someone who had anorexia, extreme hyperthyroid disease, or was dying of cancer.  Joan Collins starring in Dynasty was a “perfect size 8”  The designers loved her because if they made their designs for the exact measurements of what a size 8 was anything they made would fir her perfectly.  Now a women’s size 8 is 35 1/2 – 27 1/2 – 38.  What happened to the hourglass the 34-24-34.

The last few seasons watching biggest loser there have been times when a contestant was really excited in the makeover show to fit into a size 8 and i always thought looking at them ok things have gone terribly wrong.  They have lost a lot of weight but that aint no size 8 in my mind.  My mom had the same reaction I recall one season where she just blurted out “EIGHT you’ve got to be kidding me”.  The smallest size she wore back before the size changes was a 9 and she was looking at a women much bigger than she had ever been.

You have to wonder if these changes in sizes have actually contributed to the overweight of America.  Are women just in denial of how much they weigh because they can fit into a number that they are OK with?  I do feel I can get back to my normal weight around 100 pounds now that I have discovered what my thyroid needed but I really don’t know how I feel about going out to buy a size 0-3.  Do I really want to be headed for zero, that sounds so absurd LOL  I want to head for absolute health and I know that 100 pounds is a reasonable healthy weight for a 5 foot woman of my build but really I would like that weight to still be my size 7-8 and occasionally fit into a 5-6.

Perhaps they are trying to get the average Hollywood starlet to be a zero as time goes by and so we think the zero represents perfection or something equally insane.  At the rate we are going though Americans will keep getting fatter and so the sizes will be adjusted further and the Hollywood hotties will be have to go into negative sizes.  I can see it all now the new ideal with be to get into the minus sizes.

I really have very few pictures from when I was younger that show my body at all in most I am wearing a big sweater or something that doesn’t show what a 7-8 was.

Ok just for fun here are a couple scans of old Polaroid’s from 1978 LOL  That is me at the age of 15 a size 7-8 and the pants are a little baggy at the butt.  The second is me on the right and my friend Sandi on the left she was a 5-6

in kitchen  

me&sandi

I’m probably 21 in this pic still a size ummmm 7-8!

P3126125-crop

Bird Flu – What Are The Odds of Mutation

I thought with the recent post about weaponized bird flu I would repost this article I wrote in 2005 with the note that when I wrote it, I was just speculating about the potential for the conscious creation of a pandemic strain of bird flu.  Now it is looking like evidence is building for just such a creation having already taken place.

Are we tired of hearing about the bird flu yet? The constant fear mongering never ceases. Words like epidemic & pandemic thrown around by those who the average Joe thinks know something he does not. Let’s face the facts here, bird flu is a disease of ummm… birds, that has infected a small amount of people. Yep that’s right a small amount, about 200 known cases of which approximately 60 people died out of 6 ½ billion people on planet earth. This is hardly worth noticing based on the numbers alone. For the most part these people either worked in or lived near a facility that raises poultry. A few may have been exposed to groups of wild birds infected, but most reports state that all contracted the disease from birds, with one or two rouge reports claiming one or two human to human transmissions with no evidence to back up their statements. Remember SARS the last big pandemic fear? Nothing came of SARS and it is just as likely nothing with come of this strain of the avian flu.

We have a whole lot of hype and no information whatsoever. The big pandemic we are supposed to prepare ourselves for is the one that is created when the bird flu mutates and is then capable of human to human transmission. This mutation is presented as immanent and absolute. I want to know what this assumption is based on. Where is there even one shred of information that shows this bird flu will ever mutate to be transmittable from human to human. There is none! All the great scientists of the world who specialize in this field are guessing that this one will mutate, yes you heard me, guessing. What are the odds of mutation and what is the scientific basis for the odds. There are no odds, zip, none, nadda. If it does mutate, do we know it will be as virulent as the current strain, or will it just be another flu? Well according to science and history a virus that is especially virulent is not good at spreading, and when it mutates and becomes better at spreading it becomes less virulent.

There are sites out there that want to scare us even more than the average media, one states that this virus has a 50% kill rate in humans and that we should expect that kill rate as a pandemic. This is fear mongering of the worst kind. First of all it only appears to have a 50% kill rate based on the amount of people who have been tested to have bird flu and how many of them have died. Second there could have been many others who contracted this strain and had minimal symptoms and recovered without ever being tested for bird flu drastically changing the numbers. Third the strain they have was contracted from birds it is not the human to human variety that it would have to mutate into in order to become a pandemic, that strain is an unknown.

One of the worst pandemics of historical record was the black death of the 14th century and it had an estimated 20% kill rate. The Spanish flu of 1918-1919 is now believed to be a mutated version of avian flu and it affected 20 – 25% of the world population with a kill rate of 2.5 to 5% of those infected. Of those who died many died of secondary bacterial pneumonia that was untreated as there were no antibiotics at the time, so the same strain hitting now would presumably have a much lower kill rate. The reality is that if the world experiences any kind of pandemic with a 50% kill rate we can be certain it was human created for the very purpose of culling the human population.

There is a lot of talk of the vaccine they are making and how long it will take. This too is nothing but propaganda as all flu vaccines are. A vaccine cannot be created for a mutated virus that does not exist yet. There may be scientists trying to make a vaccine based on the current strain hoping that it will speed up the making of a vaccine for a mutated strain that appears later. No matter what vaccine they may present us with, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. The current flu vaccine is a joke and the fact that they want us all to have it so bad only makes it more suspect. Do you know that you may be taking a vaccine for a different strain of flu then the one in current circulation? Vaccine manufacturers never know what strain is going to pop up the next season as they are manufacturing your vaccine so they guess. Oh sure they use computer programs to help them guess but it’s a guess none the less. When they guess wrong they send out the vaccines anyway and all the dutiful docs are more than happy to sell them to you even though they know they are worthless, having been made for the wrong strain. Every one still needs to make their profits even when they guess wrong.

The truth is there is no evidence any flu vaccines work. Anecdotal evidence of my mother a nurse for the past 50 years, 73 years old and still nursing, is that her colleagues and patients who take the vaccines all get sick! She won’t take it, even when the hospital attempts to force her to, and amazingly she hasn’t had the flu since the last time she gave in, a few years back, and took the vaccine. That year she got the flu within a few days of receiving the vaccine. Flu vaccine is just big money plain and simple and when they create shortages, real or imagined, they make even better money as people clamor for more in fear. Now we have tamiflu this is supposed to be a significant medicine for the flu. Governments are stockpiling it for the bird flu pandemic that they tell us is imminent. There is no evidence that tamiflu will do anything for the bird flu if it mutates. It appears to do little to nothing for the regular flu. Information shows the regular flu will be on average one day shorter in duration with tamiflu, but no less intense.

I think the powers that be are just praying for a pandemic. With a true pandemic just think of all the lovely police state actions that could be taken world wide by governments champing at the bit to take away freedoms. Taking away our rights with the perfect excuse, claiming it is to protect our lives. Could there be a more perfect cover for crimes against humanity? This may seem far fetched to many, but with no real science behind the claims of mutation, and this strain becoming the next big pandemic, this would lead one to wonder (at the very least me) does a mutated version already exist, having been mutated by humans? Is the confidence in this being the coming pandemic simply because it is the release of a biological created from the bird flu for the purpose of culling the world population? Who would benefit from the pandemic? The list is a long one but most certainly it doesn’t include anyone who is the average Joe of any of the world’s nations. Is this a conspiracy theory of mass proportions? Sure, but that doesn’t take it out of the realm of possibility.

If history repeats we are due for a pandemic and it could have come 5 or 10 years ago based on the averages, it could be 5 or 10 years in the future. It’s no different than waiting for the big earthquake, it could come at any moment. We should all have some basic preparedness, but go on with our lives without allowing our media and government to control us with their fear mongering. The flu in fact serves an important purpose in the human body, those who purify their bodies and mind rarely get the flu. Those in need of purification get the flu, the fever kills off all kinds of things that harm the body, often when inflicted we give our digestive system a rest and take in only fluids for a few days detoxifying ourselves. There are always some who are in a weakened state and the flu ends their lives, but as the old saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I don’t th
ink we should be attempting to vaccinate against a mostly innocuous, although unpleasant illness that serves a purpose in human existence. Don’t want to experience it, try regular mediation, fasting, remove the poisonous foods and supposed medicines of our toxic society from your diet. Turn off the TV when the fear mongering escalates and refuse to live your life in the constant state of stress that is being pressed upon us by media and government.

The odds of this bird flu mutating into a pandemic are completely unknown. The odds of a new virus showing up tomorrow with no warning and sweeping the world as the pandemic that is due, equally unknown. So if you want to worry about, it then you may as well take a vacation to a beach resort and spend the whole vacation anticipating being hit by a tsunami, or go to LA with the purpose of waiting for the big one. When the big ones hit, whether they be tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, pandemics or inside job terrorist attacks like 911, no amount of worry changes anything, all it does it tear at the fabric of our lives while things are good. We should all have some food, water, medical supplies etc, so when something hits we are prepared to take care of ourselves, but once you have a few supplies in the house and car, LET GO! A life of fear is not a life worth saving, choose joy.

Engtovo Bhodsvatan
November 30, 2005

Venus Transit Pair

I just read a little ditty that says June 7th 2008 is the midpoint between the two Venus transits.   I really had never stopped to think about where we are in the process and what midpoint would be.  So a energetic thanks goes out to whoever did stop to think about it.  🙂

June 6, 2012 is the next Venus transit.

This is a NASA photo from the 2004 Transit

venus-transit

Below is some info my 2004 astrological aspects.  Since spirit was clear that during these eight years it is imperative to focus on Divine Love, this midpoint date seems like a good time to stop and refocus if needed.

A Transit of Venus happens four times every 234 years! They come in pairs, this one is the 2nd of the pair the counterpart on June 7, 2004.  

The last pair of Venus Transits were December 9, 1874 & December 6, 1882  The next pair is December 11, 2117 &  December 8, 2125 Then June 11, 2247 & June 9, 2255

Venus, the planet of Divine Love transited between us and the sun in June of 2004, It will transit again in 2012, an eight year gap, in what our current calendar says is 2012,  These are the 8 years in which LOVE will change our experience on the planet.  At the time of the second transit (June 6, 2012) the 1000 years of peace prophesied by so many cultures truly begins. 

Between now and then we will have to choose Divine Love every day in every situation and insist our governments and institutions do the same.  we cannot be apathetic we must in fact take a very active role.

Why the obsession with Venus and Divine Love?  Because Venus has gotten a bad rap all these years being seen as the planet of romantic love.  Now I have nothing against romantic love, but it is very small in relation to true Divine Love.  I simply want our intentions in the right place to use this Venus energy in fullness.