About Tatiacha

Photographer, Poet, Writer, Artist, Drum Maker & Healer. Forging a personal path of physical, mental emotional and spiritual healing for myself.

Greatest Gift

Curious questioning
Bumping the boundaries
Testing the waters
What reality is this
Who are these people
Where is the heart
Are they asleep
Why don’t they hug
Who are we as a unit
Why are they annoyed
Saying mean things
Shut up they say
Hog tied and gagged for speaking
Its all secret
Hidden
No one believes
I am in trouble
She blames me for everything
She gets away with everything
They leave me with shame
For what they have done
I should have acted differently
Then these things would not occur
I know now these lies
Their shortcomings
Transferred on to me
Due to their ignorance
Talking is not a crime
Joyous excitement not to be punished
Questioning a gift
No one wanted to know anything
Shut up shut up
Don’t ask
Be quiet
Don’t tell
Black….
No dad I will not say white
I am not being obtuse
I am seeking answers
Why do you not have any
When you say black
I know it means shut up
I may be a child but I am not stupid
No one stands up for me
When I speak truth
I am told I lie or make things up
When will I be heard
Valued
Trusted
By them the answer is never
By me the answer is today
I was a beautiful child
Curious and bright
Joyous and goofy
Playful and divine
Deserving of goodness and nurturing
I neglect myself
From a lifetime of being neglected
I will nurture myself now
Embrace myself
Love myself
Value myself and that beautiful child I was
As if she were my own precious baby
She makes me smile
I want to play with her
I want to take her swimming
And hear her precious laugh
I want to answer her questions
Find ways for her to follow her curiosity
I will read to her and sing her to sleep
Rubbing her back with gentle sweetness
She will feel safe in my arms
I will protect her with my life
And make sure she knows
She is my greatest gift

Tatiacha ~ October 14, 2017

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Un-tethering

I am me and then am me again
Each new me ushering in a whirlwind of questions
How can I be me, when new levels of me keep emerging?
Is there a static me somewhere that I will one day grasp?
Or is this continuously changing me what being me is?
Can any of us know ourselves?
Are we just who we know today, but gone by tomorrow
Days come where I feel separated from any knowing of me
They are fleeting but move my emotions
They cause me to question momentarily why I do anything I do
If there is purpose to any of it
Then with a simple sleep the lack of me dissipates
I awaken feeling like…
Myself?

Is that simply the self of habit?
The self of comfort?
I have habit on the days of missing identity
I may have comfort as well as I am comfortable with questioning everything
It is more like drifting with no anchor
Then wakening the next day firmly in place
I expand and grow with intension
Perhaps I unconsciously release the anchor on purpose
Knowing I will drift to an appropriate new anchorage

There is emotional discomfort in these drifting days
No idea where I am going or why
There is no thread connecting to the past or future
Leaving me nothing to string together in my quest for knowledge
I sit with the emotion and the questions they inspire
Answers do not come
Only more questions
Who am I really?
Who do I want to be?
Who have I been?
And why?
A perceived
Existential crisis of identity
That is only a temporary un-tethering

I realign myself just as unconsciously as I un-tethered myself
Come back to me
In a new personal environment
It looks very much the same
I feel very much the same
But something is different
I am a new me
Again
Yet it does not really feel new
It is somehow known
And so quickly integrated that the day is forgotten by weeks end

 Tatiacha ~ May 7, 2017

 

Figment of my Imagination

Twenty eight years gone by
I hardly can fathom as I write
Since the conspiracy of you began
Whispers in my ear
Validating my dreaming
Telling me all I want to hear
The life and family
The harmony of souls
The now worn out cards of various variety
Torn and tattered are their books
Twenty eight years of questions answered
Yet you are nowhere in sight
I have felt your presence so close
You were almost physical
Then you are gone like a warm breeze
I am told soon, patience, plans, healing
Healing turned into a lifetime
My dreams of you stripped one by one
Are you a figment of my imagination?
A joint delusion of my path,
Simply a carrot held out as reward,
For being dutiful on my journey
You have turned me into an old cynic
I want to believe you still exist
Yet what excuse do we have for one another now
What have we been doing separate
Instead of supporting together
Could we both be that broken?
Did you lose your way?
Leave this planet?
Or did you exist at all?
Perhaps you gave up
Took another love
And gave her my children
Maybe you do not even notice my absence
You could be happy and oblivious
Why can’t my heart give up?
My mind has tried a million times
Why can’t I simply accept this solo journey?
Perhaps it was always meant to be such
But I grieve it all
As if it is real
Maybe you are but a vivid character
Of a book I am yet to write
A novel of unattainable love
That kind that can only survive fiction
I make plans for my life
With all the drawers filled
But when I visualize them into creation
There are always empty drawers for you
No moving forward
No letting go
Just agonizing truth of a ghostly figure
You have no form
Yet somehow I know your smile
You simply torture me
Heart weary I question
If you showed up now
Would I even care?
Would I even want you?
Could you even be half the man envisioned?
Could I be even half the woman you envisioned?
Or would we just be two disillusioned hearts
I process the anger
For the lifetime of support I did not have
Where were you?
My partner
My friend
My lover
Father of the children I do not have
Grandfather of the grandchildren that will never come
Why did I think you were worth waiting for?
What makes you so god damn special
Was there no plan B or C?
My imagination vivid
Visions so clear
Facts are fictions and maybe fictions facts
This day I sit alone and write
And you are not here
I may declare I am done with this
But I will awaken to a new day
And you will be there
Still invisible, untouchable
Mocking me
I will be a split personality
One part that never stops believing
And another that can’t sustain you
So much for 28 years of healing
There is no healing the figment of my imagination
Because he might be real.

Tatiacha ~ February 4, 2017

 

Cheeto in Chief

January 20th dawns
Comes in like a bang
My Way his song
He danced and he sang

Melania pulled away
And scowled a lot
To the tower to stay
In the White House she’s not

He had his tantrums
She rolled her eyes
Obama in the doldrums
Michelle she did sigh

Smile though they did
Fake it all was
One great big fib
For all the press buzz

The Clintons stood together,
Baby Bush there too
Carter did weather
The event of the fool

He took his oath
Pence he did too
There stood them both
All red white and blue

No unity in his speech
Without healing force
No one can bleach
Regurgitation of remorse

A world in disgust
At America’s belly
They rightfully distrust
A Cheeto so smelly

The racists do celebrate
The women haters too
The rest of us contemplate
Those who have no clue

In the women come
They march in the millions
They are far from done
We number in billions

Millions he counted
With press secretary lies
Spicer was mounted
On display til he dies

Waaa cried the Cheeto
They steal my thunder
My day was neato
They plowed it under

Pussies he grabs
Doing as he wishes
While illegals he hired
Have been doing his dishes

His misogynist ways
Enshrined for years
No matter what he says
He is at fault for the tears

A tyrant in wait
Frustrated he tweets
“You’ll remember this date”
Stomping his feet

“I’ll get them all back
I shall do it I swear
Executive order attack
I’ll grimace and stare”

“Immigrants and trade
I’ll smash them I will
It may be forbade
I will not wait for a bill”

“No DAPL I crush
With my hammer like pen
Throw in Keystone to hush
That aboriginal den”

“I’ll take their land
Give it to big oil
By my greedy tiny hand
Take that Indian soil”

“America must stand tall
Succumb you will
I wanna build a wall
You pay the bill”

No, Mexico will say
Pay it we will not
Not tomorrow or today
Not a little or a lot

Healthcare on the line
Planned Parenthood too
He says “all is fine”
To the Christians he woos

“I need validation as
Russia’s in the news
The media’s creation
Putin made Hills lose”

“Gag them all now
Kick them all out
Reporters must bow
Science has no clout”

“National parks shut up
State department must quit
Why bring this stuff up
When I hate every bit”

“There must be voter fraud
My ego is on the line
Popular vote to a broad
I’ll undo that in time”

“The Generals are wrong
Screw the Intelligence too
Then sing another song
Lie all the way through”

“I’ll torture at black sites
Its evil I know
The world I will fight
Cause this is my show”

“A reality star I am
Keep the cameras rolling
I slaughter the lamb
My methods controlling”

“Fascist ways I seek
Corporations do own me
Eventually it will leak
My patriotism phony”

“The globalist plans
You thought I would fight
You didn’t understand
I’m a billionaire and white”

“I’ve been one of them
All along do you see
Despite all the gems
You believed on TV”

Flip flop, flop flip
He turns on a dime
Yes he’s a dick
Known that for some time

Fighting with leaders
With tweets to and fro
Like all bottom feeders
To the bottom they go

Conflicts of interests
Refusing of blind trust
Is he on Pinterest
Cause twitter is a bust

Here goes week one
Of four long years
The damage a ton
Thus all the fears

He has a crazy toupee
As all buffoons do
It should warn us away
A great big orange BOO

Dear Cheeto in Chief
Fight you we will
We know you are a thief
And impeachable still.

Tatiacha ~ January 26, 2017

 I am not a liberal
Independent am I
Please take this literal
I am sick of this guy

Window of Direct Creation

Only a few hours to the opening

Long time followers of my work know the time all planets are in direct motion as a “Window of Direct Creation”.  A time where we need to remain clear in our thought and intentions as there is no resistance to what we put out to create.

Spirit made me aware of these windows 25-26 years ago and I have shared when they come about in newsletters in the early days, and then online since 1998 in various forms of the website and blog(s) that have evolved in these 20 years of being online.  I never claimed this knowledge as mine or unique to me although I had not seen it before anywhere, or new, as spirit always said ancients were well aware of this.

There is always some young up and coming star who has to make a name being the only, the best, the master.  Oh would it not be nice if we could get over that aspect of humanity.

http://allplanetsdirect.com/ Wave Rayne  is the first American teacher of solar system influences related to APDM, *All Planets in Direct Motion to teach online webinars, lectures, and email courses.  She also has a FB group page called All Planets Direct which informs fans of the interesting occurrences between land and sky.

Apparently in 2010 this woman noticed and decided it should be her claim to fame and profit maker I guess. Whatever, she can claim what she wants, I know I should not be annoyed by this kind of crap, but it just gets old.  Someone excitedly discovers something NEW only they are clueless it is only new TO THEM. And then they have to run out and share it with everyone, and attempt to own it  LOL

At any rate a long “Window of Direct Creation” opens in a few hours when Mercury goes direct at

January 8th 1:43 am Pacific Time.

And ends when Jupiter goes retrograde,

February 5th at 10:52 pm Pacific Time,

You know these long ones it can be hard to stay focused with your intentions and in a positive space.  It may be especially hard for some of you that had a difficult Mercury Retrograde that you are still picking up the pieces from.  I happen to love Mercury Retrograde but I know that is not true of most.

Considering that our President Elect is going to be inaugurated during this time period and there could be a lot of political angst and activity surrounding all that, we really just need to steer clear of all these outer happenings this month to keep our intentions pure.   I will be spending far less time on facebook and just not commenting on things like youtube and so forth so as to avoid any kind of simple miscommunication turning into any kind of strife that would steal my focus or lessen my true intentions.  This month would best be served as a month of meditation and healing.  Pure foods, pure thoughts, and canceling out any thoughts that are not in harmony with your true desires for growth.  If an argument happens clear the space, and restate your intentions strongly, release anything said by you or to you, in the argument.  You got to let it go even if you know you are right.

We spent from September  24, 2015 to August 22, 2016 grounding in the 22 Fractal Divine Waves of Change.  This was followed by a Mercury Retrograde on August 30th that allowed our thoughts to decompress from that work.  Mercury went direct with the arrival of the Equinox giving us some time after to clear out the cobwebs of this purification phase we have been going through collectively until Mercury went retrograde again only a couple days before Solstice.  This retrograde with the Solstice energy inside it was the opportunity to heighten our mental readiness for this very important Window of Direct Creation.  I hope you were able to use it as such. This is the first Window in the new fractal energy pattern.

I saw clear choices and patterns of people I knew making similar changes in the last two weeks of December to the present.  As if on cue, this energy said NOW.  Do whatever you need to stay on point with this Window.  It’s an important one and there will be lots of distractions.

peace out T

 

As The River Flows

Upper Rogue RIver

The course is unknown but also predetermined
This flow can be dammed with delay, but not stopped
It will break through or overtop any obstacle in time
As we flow we gain energetic momentum
We are charged with a magnetic force of life
It grows with each passing bend
Propelling us to eventually meet the sea
Time tenuously flows atop the moving water
We cannot see around the next bend
As we serpentine our way through these unknown lands
We know not all that lie upon the banks
Or where we may need to portage to continue forward
We know only that our heart flows as the river flows

Tatiacha ~ 11-30-16

Absence of Silence

The Absence of silence permeates this abode
Leaving no room, no space, for the sacred
The drumbeat cannot be heard amidst the clamor of chatter
The bells do not sound, the bowls do not ring
The ocean drowned out in an outpouring of noise
The absence of music leaves the halls bare of holy vibration
The songs go unsung as the days turn to months
The absence of spirit goes unnoticed to the others
Spirit’s messages not spoken aloud
Prayers crowded out of this silent less space
No truths are sought outside this room
This room bombarded by routine and fear
Tearing at the fabric of its vibration
I shift myself and the noise rips at my flesh
It rips at my soul and my mind
Offering no solace to the seeker
The absence of knowing resonates out there
Bouncing around it makes noise of its own
It hits the walls of this small space with a thud
My knowing is silenced by that incoming fear
SHUT UP! I silently scream
But nothing in silence is heard above the din
The TV screams the dramas, she does not comprehend
While sports in headphones are cursed aloud by him
Alone I contemplate the reason for it all
Waiting for the golden hour of 10 for it to come to an end
Finally in silence but there is no room for sacred sounds
Now I must tip toe and silence myself
To give them space for restful sleep
The absence of balance strips me of energy
I do all in the stillness of night but rest not
Before I awaken tomorrow it will have begun again
No space for the meditative peace
No energetic space to rest and heal a weary body and mind
In the absence of silence I wait
I escape to the beach in stolen moments
To give the earth my heart
The noise of this house so loud
It pulls me back with guilt as if I am doing something wrong.
I am not wrong!
I will not abandon the divine to the noise
I will steal every moment of communion I can
My life has never belonged to your noise
There is a higher power that calls me
It has always called me
You cannot drown out that call
There is no absence of silence loud enough

Tatiacha ~ November 18, 2016