Fireworks over the Rogue

Gold Beach Oregon 4th of July see more on Flickr

It Is My Time

Withholding
Holding out
Not giving
Leaving me nothing to receive
Leaving me to feel I do not deserve to receive
Am not good enough
Just not enough
So I give and give and give
Never can I give enough
To believe I am enough

But your withholding was never about me
It was you
Unwilling to give
Not able to receive
The circle endlessly moves
It spirals from one generation to the next

I must stop and receive
Remove from my life those who withhold
Create space for those ready to give and receive
For my giving was never received
Not truly
Not appreciated
Seen or valued
Always heaped upon the broken
Validating the lack of worth
The lie
The delusion
That this pattern was ever about me

I receive so I am filled full
My heart is filled to overflowing
Ready to burst for the one who is the same
Together we breathe in and out
Every breath a self fulfilling prophecy of oneness
Healed heart understanding
Cuts away those who withhold from me
And the part of me that accepted that as normal
Patterned myself unknowingly
Perpetuated the pain

Breathe in receive
Breathe out give
Repeat

I call you healing warrior
Mirror me our new truth
And live it out with me in each day
We understand the significance
We never take for granted
The simplicity of this undeniable truth
For us it will be easy because we are ready now
In tandem like one beating heart between us

I await and in this waiting I receive from within
From the divine
From the earth
My soul purified through fire and water
The earth holds me and air fills my earthly body

Like a flower I bloom
The timing has always belonged to the divine
Programmed into me
Like a flower programmed to bloom
It is my time
Heart open
I am

Tatiacha ~ July 2, 2020