Samantha

Samantha Footprints- b&w (2)

Laying still
Mouth agape
So beautiful
This tiny body
Perfect fingers and nails
I long to see her eyes
Hear a gurgle or a cry
She is of me
This empty vessel I hold
She grew within my womb
We shared a life most intimate
Touching me from inside
She moved and tapped
I dreamed a future for her
Knowing she was a girl
There was no proof then
I just knew
My baby girl
I looked at the little tiny outfits
Imagining her precious smile
I wait while my stomach grows
Feeling her presence
Then movement stopped
I no longer felt her presence
There was an absence of pressure
My heart knew
I did not need the doctor to tell me
My precious daughter was gone
Dead within me
I knew
The tears could not be contained
They flowed in an endless stream
Enough to fill a river of anguish
A relationship ending abruptly
Without explanation
Left with labor to induce
And then this little body
Young and inexperienced
I did not dress you
Or clean you
I did not know I would want to
The cap hides your head misshapen by birth
But you are perfect
Your soul free in the wind
I am alone
The only person who knew you
The only person to grieve you
My beloved one
My daughter
I did not know you would be my only child
But even 10 children could not erase you
You flew away with a piece of my heart
And that is as it should be
In the stillness you live
Sending back love to me

Tatiacha ~ May 18, 2018

Samantha Final

 

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