Greatest Gift

Curious questioning
Bumping the boundaries
Testing the waters
What reality is this
Who are these people
Where is the heart
Are they asleep
Why don’t they hug
Who are we as a unit
Why are they annoyed
Saying mean things
Shut up they say
Hog tied and gagged for speaking
Its all secret
Hidden
No one believes
I am in trouble
She blames me for everything
She gets away with everything
They leave me with shame
For what they have done
I should have acted differently
Then these things would not occur
I know now these lies
Their shortcomings
Transferred on to me
Due to their ignorance
Talking is not a crime
Joyous excitement not to be punished
Questioning a gift
No one wanted to know anything
Shut up shut up
Don’t ask
Be quiet
Don’t tell
Black….
No dad I will not say white
I am not being obtuse
I am seeking answers
Why do you not have any
When you say black
I know it means shut up
I may be a child but I am not stupid
No one stands up for me
When I speak truth
I am told I lie or make things up
When will I be heard
Valued
Trusted
By them the answer is never
By me the answer is today
I was a beautiful child
Curious and bright
Joyous and goofy
Playful and divine
Deserving of goodness and nurturing
I neglect myself
From a lifetime of being neglected
I will nurture myself now
Embrace myself
Love myself
Value myself and that beautiful child I was
As if she were my own precious baby
She makes me smile
I want to play with her
I want to take her swimming
And hear her precious laugh
I want to answer her questions
Find ways for her to follow her curiosity
I will read to her and sing her to sleep
Rubbing her back with gentle sweetness
She will feel safe in my arms
I will protect her with my life
And make sure she knows
She is my greatest gift

Tatiacha ~ October 14, 2017

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