I am me and then am me again
Each new me ushering in a whirlwind of questions
How can I be me, when new levels of me keep emerging?
Is there a static me somewhere that I will one day grasp?
Or is this continuously changing me what being me is?
Can any of us know ourselves?
Are we just who we know today, but gone by tomorrow
Days come where I feel separated from any knowing of me
They are fleeting but move my emotions
They cause me to question momentarily why I do anything I do
If there is purpose to any of it
Then with a simple sleep the lack of me dissipates
I awaken feeling like…
Is that simply the self of habit?
The self of comfort?
I have habit on the days of missing identity
I may have comfort as well as I am comfortable with questioning everything
It is more like drifting with no anchor
Then wakening the next day firmly in place
I expand and grow with intension
Perhaps I unconsciously release the anchor on purpose
Knowing I will drift to an appropriate new anchorage
There is emotional discomfort in these drifting days
No idea where I am going or why
There is no thread connecting to the past or future
Leaving me nothing to string together in my quest for knowledge
I sit with the emotion and the questions they inspire
Answers do not come
Only more questions
Who am I really?
Who do I want to be?
Who have I been?
Existential crisis of identity
That is only a temporary un-tethering
I realign myself just as unconsciously as I un-tethered myself
Come back to me
In a new personal environment
It looks very much the same
I feel very much the same
But something is different
I am a new me
Yet it does not really feel new
It is somehow known
And so quickly integrated that the day is forgotten by weeks end
Tatiacha ~ May 7, 2017