Why do I do it again
I don’t understand
What is different here
It is like there is a separate set of laws
An alternate reality
That appears to be the same
Simple things won’t work here
Understandings come
Nothing changes
Is that possible
A long constant
A battle that is unending
Bleeding flow
Leaving me tried
Unable to function
Death and life are the same here
They linger with a stench
The corpses walk though actions
The meaning out of grasp
Not knowing if they are dead or alive
They seek life
But they are denied
They seek death fully
And they are denied
This walk between the worlds
It consumes me
I am left to function as ashes
There are no connections
I thirst but there is no water here
Only sand and dirt
My ashes are spread
They cannot touch
Fading
But still feeling
There is no reunion
Only black dirt
That stands between us
We are expected to nourish
But we are nothing
Have nothing
But this long constant
Engtovo ~ September 10, 2008