Processing To The Core

If you are truly interested in spiritual growth and or ascension I would suggest you stay away from the new age crap that passed for spiritual knowledge. I have talked in general about some of this before, but today it is on my mind again. When I posted about the latest in the endless slew of send out energy together to save the world schemes, I found on the site in question, various things that I thought needed to be discussed.

A lot of it centers around this issue of emotions. The site talked about how to protect yourself from psychic attack and that was a pure farce. It first listed someone who is angry at you as an attacker. I’m getting so sick of this endless attack on our emotions. Getting angry from time to time is NORMAL! We are human and lets face it, we have all been in situations where the person who is mad at us have every right to be angry, we’ve let them down in some way or not acted with integrity. The same is true on the other side of things; sometimes our anger is fully justified. When someone you trust tells you they are going to do something important and they don’t, it makes you mad. It’s really not hard to understand. Obviously there are times we get angry about something that was based on our own expectation that someone was going to do something and that person never agreed to do it, that is of course our own issue. This happens all the time however in this world and the answer is not to REPRESS our emotions.

Do we need to find positive ways to get our emotion out so it doesn’t cause harm, absolutely. Is it somehow wrong or unspiritual to ever have a moment of anger? HELL NO! Now the real issue with anger is the refusal to let it go. When I get angry at this point it doesn’t last long or linger with me. It moves through me, I acknowledge it, feel it and allow it to pass naturally. There can be anger that is held long term that could turn into a psychic attack or toxic living conditions if you live with the person, but this is not most anger that is felt and dealt with. In fact most likely these situations stem from anger repressed dealing with one person over a long period of time. Metaphysicians have always called these emotions “coming out sideways” as they often merge and will get directed at someone other than the originator. An example would be you have a long difficult relationship with your father, you repress that anger. Then you get married, repress similar types of feelings about your husband, until months later it is coming out sideways at everyone you care about. It could be directed at the husband and completely out of proportion to what you are actually feeling about the moment.

Repression brings on amazing levels of pain when those who are inadvertently encouraging it believe they are removing pain from their lives. The problem is denial, is denial, this whole “fake it til you make it” myth may work for some jobs or money situations but you can’t be dishonest with yourself and God and expect any spiritual growth. You may be able to fool your boss or John Doe on the street but God knows what you suppress and repress. These individuals and groups attempt to teach that some emotions are wrong and others right. If you think you are not supposed to be angry, you repress it, then you feel guilty. Guilt is the most damaging emotion any Soul or Spirit can place on themselves it is the very thing that sticks us into the wheel of reincarnation and prevents us from allowing ourselves to ascend.

When you are on a spiritual path there are many levels of self that have to be cleared, and it gets old fast. The deeper and more you repress what you feel the closer to the CORE these emotions get stuck. Every time you stuff an emotion that someone has taught you not to feel in one form or another, you stuff a whole bunch of guilt along with it. The more guilt, the deeper the emotion and its guilt go. Eventually everyone will have to clear their core issues, if not in this life in another and when you clear the core you have to clear the anger, or whatever other emotion and the guilt. The guilt is NASTY and the original emotion is way worse the second time around. Of course for repetitive issues it won’t even be the second time around for the general feelings it may be the 1000th time but this time so close to the core it may be so painful you could manifest death in the process of attempting the clearing.

We have to give ourselves permission to feel what we feel. Feeling it is not the same as acting upon it. Say you have a moment where something so heinous has been done to you that you have a feeling of wanting to act out in violence. Allowing that feeling does not mean you are going to ALLOW yourself to be out of control and act on it. Repression does not prevent a violent action in fact repression increases the odds of a violent action taking place at some point when so many emotions are repressed that the conscious mind has a break. Obviously there are people with anger management problems that spew their crap all around and there are all kinds of programs to teach those people how to feel their anger and deal with it. Denial is not one of the techniques.

This doesn’t apply just to anger of course it is just the easiest of our complex emotions to describe in words. People tend to get an idea in their head of what a spiritual person would do or how an ascended person would act. First of all these are just ideas not based in any fact, and second of all they assume that if they act that way whether they FEEL that way or not that they will be spiritual and ascend. It doesn’t work that way. Ascending beings become less likely to become angered over time as they clear their own issues. You can’t pretend to be there and have it be so. In fact the pretending moves you farther away from ever getting there because you are not clearing the core and you are lying to yourself and to your God Self. God Self obviously knows the truth and these lies put a barrier between you. The truth is even a Dharlja can have a moment of anger. They are not immune, it is not common and it does not last because they do not hold or repress these types of emotions. At the end of this post I have included and excerpt of one such situation from the Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East Books by Baird T. Spalding.

Clearing the core is what is required to ascend, and some clearing must take place to gain any level of true enlightenment whatsoever. How can anyone who cannot even deal with their day to day emotions pretend to actually be clearing all the way to the core of their Soul. All emotion must be processed through consciously to proceed forward on a spiritual journey. It is in fact what 99% of the spiritual journey is. You cannot know yourself if you do not know and accept your own emotions, and certainly knowing yourself is a prerequisite to knowing your God Self.

When I see statements issued like this is the “no fear” way to do something, it is a red flag. Fear, like anger, is part of mortal human experience. It is in fact a great tool for our seeking. Getting to know yourself can start with past lives, and if you want to find a past life of significance then look into what you fear in this one. There is no mortal on earth free of fear. Some fear as mortals protects us from doing things that would end our experience before it is complete in this life time. There is a reason we are supposed to be afraid to walk right up to a grizzly bear as a mortal and try and pet it! DUH

We all have opportunities to face our various fears and these are some of our greatest opportunities for growth. There was a time in this life I had fear about the dark forces. As I faced this fear in various situations I came to know my own power. This is why I don’t fear them now. Had I not been willing to act despite my fear I would still be in a state of fear in relation to them, I would have missed my opportunity to know my own power by facing that fear. Many of the people on the planet that have fear of the ‘Powers That Be’ are fearful because of personal experience from other lifetimes. The power they hold in government and society as a whole is intense and many have perished in other lives at their hands. It is obvious why that would be a concern this time around as well. That fear will not be cleared by just saying “I’m not afraid”. Action internal and often external is required to face down a fear. The key here once again is spirit does not want us to feel GUILTY about having a fear. They don’t want us to feel guilty for our imperfect expression; because the more we feel guilty the further it moves us AWAY from our perfect expression. We have to know our imperfect self inside out and backward and be able to say it is ok, and I love me anyway, and God loves me as is, to move forward with a more perfect expression. Instead we have people the world over convinced that they have to be perfect first to be loved, the problem is you can’t just BE perfect. You already ARE perfect and you have to remove the layers of the onion that stand between you and that understanding. You can’t remove what you refuse to feel or look at.

The greatest fear of all is the fear of knowing. It is even greater than the fear of the unknown. Those who don’t want to see their own emotions and choose denial instead are those in the greatest fear. In outward expression they are the ones who don’t want to know what the governments are doing. Don’t tell them about the dark forces and the Powers That Be. They are so frightened that they truly believe if they don’t look it will not exist.

Spirit has always talked about the filtering down process. You can intellectually understand the whole of metaphysics and have no enlightenment what so ever! Every concept has to be filtered down through your consciousness to your core. Every concept has to traverse all the crap you have stuffed in there to do so. That is why you can know certain things at a deep level without having manifested the obvious outpouring of that knowing yet. It has to hit CORE. Some concepts are connected and multiple things have to all hit core in order for a certain gift or ability or complete understanding to manifest. As these concepts hit blocks of old emotions you have opportunities for clearing. This is not the kind of clearing you go to a healer for. These kinds of clearings must be done YOURSELF. No one else can process your shit for you. There is very little anyone else can do to even assist you. When we ask for assistance of the Dharljas in this matter, about all they can do is hold forth energy for you, seeing you in your perfection. Showing you a reflection, as it were, of your true self so you know what your core should look like cleared fully.

I have had several discussions with people about the various steps of the ascension process where I describe the Nirvana / Samadhi stage where all is bliss and how people get stuck there and never pursue the path beyond that point. The problem is that stage is the first real contact with the God Self it is blissful because you have been away from it, it feels great and you don’t want to leave it. People often work hard to achieve that stage and feel that they are then enlightened and have ‘made it”. That stage is only the beginning of the true path. That is when the real work begins and after you have activated several new energies the real work of clearing the core begins. It is often ugly and long and you may not feel very enlightened on any given day. People may accuse you of going backward when they themselves are the ones stuck in place accomplishing nothing. During this work is when you will be hit from every side. Dark energy will attempt to stop your progress and you will have no choice but to learn about your power to protect yourself. Your own emotional issues will attempt to stop you as they have almost taken a life of their own and believe they are you at the core. Humanity will NOT be your friend. Friends and family will fall away and maintaining relationships will become more difficult. Every relationship you have is based on some of these issues surrounding your core that is what has called these people into your life. As they are cleared the reason for some people being in your life ceases to exist. Sometimes the people feel their place in your life slipping away and they will sabotage your work to keep you at a place where you can still relate. The vibrational differentiation between you will increase and at some point it will be too great to maintain the relationship unless the other person is doing an equal amount of clearing.

You will start to become aware that most of the world does not see or “get” things that are obvious to you. You will find statements of simple truths are seen by many as you being “negative” whether you have any emotion attached to them or not because of the other person’s emotion. An example would be something simple like; “the government is corrupt”. To me this is a simple statement of truth, I have no real emotion attached to it, it is just what is. To someone naïve who believes in the government however it would be the ultimate negative statement. If they don’t have the information about the corruption, like vote tampering as a tiny example etc. then they do not have the ability to discern the statement as negative or positive. They will just assume it is negative because of their lack of knowledge on the subject. They BLINDLY believe in their government. The same thing is true when people blindly believe in Sananda, Ashtar or any other guru or dogmatic system. If you present them with a statement of fact they have no way to integrate the information because they have never asked questions or discerned the subject at hand.

It gets even more complex when you get to the level where the facts you have, come from within and you cannot point someone to a book or website as to the veracity of your fact. But when you are at that point you know your facts and you no longer care if someone else can validate these facts or not. This is a part of the path and it certainly will never make you popular and it is the point where so many people fall off the path because they cannot deal with the lack of acceptance they will receive within the general public, let alone the complete disgust they will get from 99% of the people who consider themselves spiritual seekers. Only a small percentage of spiritual seekers are seeking a personal relationship with God. Many are seeking acceptance within a spiritual society whether it be a church, a religion, or any kind of spiritual group. The rest are seeking power, and not the true God power of being a servant of the Creator and the abilities that brings forth naturally in the journey, but power over other people. That is what has allowed academia and credentials to take hold of the whole metaphysical paranormal movement through the New Age dogma that came to be. If you are truly seeking god you don’t need to be a Reiki Master to do healing! You don’t need to be a certified this or a certified that. No degrees are required. Just one hell of a lot of fortitude, commitment, faith and a willingness to be unpopular.

Another example was shown to me back in the days when I did some channeling. My guide Bestali’s take on earth changes brought forth shock and dismay in many. He would say that what difference does it make if millions or billions of people go HOME? This was seen as negative, when it’s just a statement of fact. Not one person has made a single rational argument on why we should save the whole population of earth. The fact is most Higher Selves have four or five potentials (souls) on the planet. That is a lot, that means approximately 4/5 of the human population could perish and every higher self would still have one person on the planet. Originally that came about as dark forces multiplied their planetary presence to give them more power. Light forces started to do the same so they would not be outnumbered. Ultimately that is over now and there is no point to continuing it further. The most common argument is to just say it is the compassionate thing to keep everyone here. Well is it compassionate to keep a sociopath on the planet through the changes locked up, before and after so they don’t kill? It may be an absurd example but the truth is there are a lot of sociopaths on the planet. Compassion for who is the question and why is it that death is seen as punishment. It is simply going home, if it’s a natural occurrence than what is the problem.

It would not be ok for we humans to kill the population and decide who should live or die. These decisions were made by the Creator based on vibration. Every person had the opportunity over thousands of life times to raise their vibration, there are no victims here. Many of us who are actually doing the internal work are now being accused of lacking compassion. We are the very ones who were here lifetime after lifetime doing everything we could to HELP them raise their vibration but hey TIME IS UP. They had their chance we did everything possible to assist them and now it is between them and their Creator. How can that be a lack of compassion? Many of us sacrificed our own ascension several times to continue to help raise the consciousness of as many as possible. It is the same group that has fought and won the dark forces for the good of ALL. People with small world views want to tell those who have been holding the big world view that they lack compassion when in fact they don’t even understand what is happening, why it is happening, and what has been done on their behalf over millennia to save this planet from being imploded like Leanar (the planet where the asteroid belt is now).

Going to the core and doing the work means you are going to be hit with these thoughts, ideas, fears and so forth from the mass consciousness EVERY DAY. They will hit you with this as they simultaneously tell you that you are not allowed to feel anything, know anything, and express anything. This is the work! It is difficult and not understood, and for the most part you will stand alone in the mortal, not understanding a world full of people and them not understanding you. The ascended ones, the Dharljas will be there for you offering encouragement if you allow it, but this path is not mystical foo foo readings and paranormal phenomena. It is not about being the cool “spiritual” one. It is not a path for the faint of heart getting to the core of self, but fully expressing the divine when the path is over is the Creators desire and plan for all of us. So eventually it is a path all will have to take. Denial has no place in the journey. So don’t tell me that I have to be fearless and never get pissed off, or never say a bad word about anyone or anything, because that would just prove to me that you haven’t even begun the path. If you are looking for sainted rose pedals lining a shining path where only loving words will be spoken well you are just clueless and I suggest you get over it so you can move on and humanity as a whole can shift consciousness to the higher vibration where it belongs. This will not happen MAGICALLY it will happen by one person at a time being willing to ignore that crap and do the work no matter how hard it is!

Excerpt from Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East by Baird T. Spalding Vol. 3

Almost at once the condition changed. At first a startled look came over her face, than it changed to the same kindly expression that we were accustomed to, and there swept over us such a wave of compassion that we rushed to the prostrate form on the ground. Our hostess was bending over him, her hand clasping his. Again we were mystified and could only say, “will wonders never cease?”

The man soon regained consciousness, was helped to his feet, and was made as comfortable as possible on a bench near by. He absolutely refused to enter any of the houses.

Our hostess then apologized for the vehemence which she had expressed, noting the effect it had upon us. Our flesh was quivering and it required some time for us to regain our composure.

She explained that this man was the leader of one of the most notorious bands that infested that portion of the Gobi. His name, If mentioned at all, was spoken with awe, as he was the most fearless and ruthless of characters. His familiar title literally translated meant “Consummate Black Devil released from Hell.” His features portrayed “en masque” were kept in many villages and worn by those participating in the ritual of driving the evil spirit from the village and it’s inhabitants.

Our hostess had contacted this man on two former occasions when attempted raids had failed and each time he had evidenced the deepest hatred for her and our friends in general, going out of his way to harass them and sending violent messages from time to time, which they ignored completely. His sudden appearance alone had brought the past indignities to forcibly before her that she, for the time being, had lost control of her emotions.

Having full regained her composure, she walked over to the man. At her approach, he made a futile attempt to raise, but was only able to draw himself together and sit more erect, the picture of abject fear. Hatred was delineated in every movement of his body, which was trembling as though stricken with palsy. Our hostess, now cool and collected, with no trace of fear or emotion, her face, features, and body as wonderfully cut as the most delicate cameo, presented an amazing contrast.

We wanted to remove the man at once and, although his thought was not expressed, our hostess raised her hand commanding silence. Our Chief realized that she was in charge of the situation and that anything we would attempt to do would only place us in a ludicrous position. We withdrew out of hearing while our hostess talked in low and quiet tones for quite some time before the man answered a word.

As he spoke, the lady motioned us to approach. We sat on the ground before them, glad to make any move that would relieve the tension of suspense. The bandit explained that he had prevailed upon his superior leaders to allow him to come as a peace emissary to treat with the people for the surrender of the supposed treasure that was concealed in the Tau Cross Temple. If the inhabitants would surrender the treasure, the bandits would agree not to molest them further, would agree to release all their prisoners (of which they claimed there were over three thousand) and would immediately leave the country and never again molest the inhabitants of the valley.

Our hostess told him there was no treasure that would be of any value to them. A thorough explanation of the fact was gone into, with an offer to conduct him through all the rooms of the Temple or any place he wished to go. He flatly refused this proposition, saying that he feared they would hold him as hostage, and no assurance upon our part could break down this fear.

Our hostess reassured him of our sincerity and he suddenly became convinced that we were honest in our statements. Then a situation difficult and alarming for him arose. He told us that he was the instigator of this plot and had fired the imaginations of the other bandits with the zeal for possessing the treasure and that he had painted a lurid picture of the fabulous wealth that would be theirs should he succeed. In fact he and his father had held their band together with promises of the possession of this treasure. He was the chief of the band that had consolidated with five other bands to carry out this raid.

The crux of this situation was that if he should return to his band with the information that there was no treasure, he would immediately be branded as a traitor and, as such, would be dealt with accordingly. He could not deter the band from the contemplated attack, as they would not believe him on account of his zeal in pressing the situation up to this point.

There is a bit more to this story in Vol 3 starting mid page 29

6 thoughts on “Processing To The Core

  1. Engtovo Thank You,In general there is alot I am confused about.I try to stay open minded.I seem to be drawn here.I get clarity here.My comprehention is growing.I do feel in denial.I am working on it.I feel I need to connect with others but maybe that is avoidance of the inner connection.Peace and love,Patrick

  2. You are right Engtovo. I am trying to come to terms with how to separate genuine activities from being associated with all this stuff – noise from the noise generator.

    It seems to be designed to dilute the signal – it is a way of masking the sharing of information almost as a karmic safeguard to make sure no one has an “easy street” on the “right path”, we have to each find our own way along it for the most part.

    Trying to transmit truth to one another is thus extremely difficult, although seemingly not impossible. It’s about as hard as attempting to construct a large scale artistic project to reflect the true lessons and how they should *feel* right, just as the art/music made with these lessons in mind would feel right as well, not like the fake and empty new age fluff.

    So, if it becomes clear that this noise is generated to dilute transmission of real channels of information, what is the best strategy to set up some sort of a shielding around our channels?

    How many people can find their way to your website, through the sea of other websites, and recognize it to be a true place of learning at a ratio of maybe 1 out of 100 websites, the other 99 of which are part of the noise generation system?

    That’s a lot of noise proportionate to the signal! We are going against the odds even more than the tiniest radio station with a 20 foot tower broadcasting on AM radio!

    So we go back to that saying I was trying to get at last time I was here – how towers of “individuals” (those who recognize their individuality but do not dwell on it – they are just as eager to collaborate as they are to do solo projects) can come together to make floating castles. It really is true, this notion has firmly stuck with me ever since it arrived.

    We build our towers quite literally to improve our broadcast transmission signal – to get the tip above the “noise floor” so our signal is more easily distinguishable.

    How we each apply this metaphor might be slightly different, but the truth of the need to do so remains the same for us all.

    In fact, it is perhaps the only way we can see one another in the first place, to form the castle, otherwise we stumble onto one another’s towers by chance, as though we were walking through a dense fog and suddenly bumped into a potential ally’s fortress. This is more or less how I discovered your site, through a topic-specific link that appeared once and only once on a site I had frequented for years.

    But we get back to the a priori system – having to have the good intuition to know how to read into one another’s words, and be able to tell honest communication from the most talented impostor in the world’s best attempt to fake one. This is the notion I was trying to share elsewhere on the net to get people to understand your position on Fire The Grid – it didn’t feel right to me either, it wasn’t just the creepy music, and I was asking people “can’t you feel it?”

    I wish there was a way to help people to train their intuitions, it’s what I might contemplate for the next while to decide if it is even possible or not. We need highly developed intuitions nowadays more than ever – the imposter-to-true person ratio is at an unprecedented level.

    I hope you feel my sincerity and calmness – last time I visited your site things were much more turbulent for me, but I made it through I think.

    I would again ask how my words “feel” to you or anyone else as a request for the common display of intuitive talent I think we will all need to indicate we have if any kind of a castle were ever to be formed…

    take care,


  3. I just wanted to touch on the real difference we are looking at here on this emotion topic.

    People will be taught everything you are saying, and interpret it the wrong way and it leads to all of those things you have described. You are right – it is trying to jump the gun, and it does not supercede the emotions we would still have inside of us regardless. Every single bit of energy we have inside of us is something to deal with at face value. There is no “garbage system” we can throw our unwanted baggage into without having to deal with it – these energies are in orbit around us and will remain that way until we de-magnetize them.


    *Once* this process has been completely or mostly done, we will get something similar to what people (myself included) risk falsely teaching to one another, this because we do not explain the most important detail – that we need to cleanse ourselves *before* we can hope to reach this stage – a place where we *cannot help* but defeat negative emotions from generating inside of us in the first place.

    We can feel the tempotation to be angry with someone, but at the same time feel unable to celebrate that potential anger because we can’t help but feel a deep understanding of the truth behind what they did. We see all of their past, how misguided they are, and we map things that happened that we didn’t like back to the *intentions* of people.

    Sure they did something that made us angry!

    But did they have good intentions and just got confused along the way?

    If yes, some of us CAN’T bring ourselves to be angry at them – we know they have good intentions!

    However, if we determine they did really have bad intentions, then sure we can be angry at them, but this anger is no longer specific – it dissolves into the “last anger”, an anger directed at how nowadays there are innocent babies born who can be taught so much BS during their childhood and early adult years that it really is possible to develop into the kind of life form that can have sincerely negative intentions.

    So even then, it is not an anger directed at a person, it is directed towards how a portion of our society and modern civilization has come to be this way.

    In the end, nothing is anyone’s fault except for the consciously negatively intentive souls out there, and even then, you have to wonder what day of their lives that *switch* was made, prior to which they could have only been an innocent child.

    Engtovo, you have to dig eeeven deeper to illustrate the truth, and not simply defend your right to be angry! I’ve seen it in numerous posts! Rationalization and Deep Spirituality do not mix!

  4. Here is the thing eq my whole point is that I don’t have to defend or rationalize my right to be angry any more than i need to defend or rationalize my right to be HAPPY in any given moment. I used anger because it is an example that is easy to recognize. There are plenty of things on the planet that we should be angry about because if we are not then nothing will change. On the flip side there are lots of things on the planet to be happy about and we damn well better be happy about them because if we are not then we won’t protect them. Like the beauty of this planet as an example. The main of the whole point being we feel what we feel in the process and labeling some feelings good or ok and others feeling bad or wrong will stop us dead in our tracks on this path. We have to FEEL each and every thing that comes to our consciousness without determining in advance that some things are not OK to feel. That is what brings on the guilt and guilt is makes us stuck in place. It stops all growth! Guilt is the very basis of the wheel of reincarnation if we can let go of guilt and forgive ourselves for our PERCEIVED wrong doings and wrong feeling etc. We will ascend. We technically don’t even need the forgiveness of the person we think we wronged. God sees us a whole and perfect now no matter what and the only person that stops our own ascension is ourselves, through our guilt and repressed feelings.

  5. Engtovo – thank you . really .

    I couldn’t agree more with you about this particular topic .
    Their is much I could say , but nothing that needs be said .
    You do a wonderful job of saying it yourself 😉

    In response to eq ; I haven’t a clue what you’re trying to say in the above posts , but maybe you aren’t exactly sure either .
    I really tried to discern your message & metaphor , but honestly I have to tell you that I feel you’re missing the mark by wasting words . Engtovo did a wonderful job of telling it like it is . You did a wonderful job of complicating it to the point of nonsense .

    I mean no disrespect . Honestly . But you made this statement “So, if it becomes clear that this noise is generated to dilute transmission of real channels of information, what is the best strategy to set up some sort of a shielding around our channels?” in your post above .

    But eq – the posts you left are “noise generated to dilute transmission of real channels of information ” . Maybe you know that , maybe you don’t .

    As far as a shield goes – just remember the greatest truths are the simplest ones .


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