There Is No Word

There is no word
When I thought there would be
It surprises me
And yet it feels ok
It does not feel incomplete
When I thought it would feel that way
It has been a long journey with these people
An intense one
Many emotions surfaced for all
I’m not sure if it was a necessary journey
Even though I learned many things
And it served me
There were other ways for those teachings to come
This choice was the harder one
I wonder what part of me thinks that I must take the harder path
Why am I not willing to give myself a break
I am ready to be complete with the choice of the hard way
Even being around other people who choose it
Has become too difficult a mirror
Most have not yet realized that they chose it
Still they think they are victims
It is hard to watch, and harder to feel
I no longer need to watch and feel
I am not a victim and I can make another choice
There is no word
And that is good
I have been removed from the loop
As requested
I no longer am a participant in their drama and difficulties
Nor do I invite them in to drama with me
I send them all love
I hope they soon see the choice
I hope when they do
They find the strength to choose the other way
The old ways have a grip that is tight
Any grieving has long since been completed
And the good byes are done as well
I turn my attention to the way of peaceful song
Where the music alone uplifts the vibration
I turn my attention to the way of joyous creations
Nature wraps me in her arms and shows me freedom
There is no word to call my attention back
And I am grateful

Engtovo ~ November 20, 2004

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