Release

Mortal life is fading from me

Connections severed

Preparing the way for me to be alone

To retreat

To live in peace

I feel the separation

But it feels right

It does not come with sadness

I am impatient to get on with it

Why does it have to drag on

Even though time is moving so quickly for me

It feels like a waste

I know there must be purpose to it

But I cannot touch that understanding

It feels arbitrary

Unnecessary

There is a weight on my heart

That is not pain

Is not burden

It is a release

As yet lacking clarity

Like a hole first made in a cocoon

I seek to make it bigger to remove myself

But right now it causes pressure

There is an impetus to break through

And a tiredness of spirit

As much as I am propelled to move forward

I wonder why it matters

I cannot sense the ripples

And do not care about them

I only want the struggle to be over

And the peace to move through me consistently

Engtovo ~ November 20, 2004

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