It’s Coming

Trip me up

With these false thoughts

But it is only temporary

Because the change cannot be stopped

It is coming straight for me

And it cannot miss

There is no way to make it veer away or change its course

There is no escape

No place to run

No place to hide

Matters not where I go or what I do

It cannot even be delayed

Its timing is set

I waste my energy in attempts to change those facts

Even though on a conscious level I do not want to change it

I want it

I have prayed for it

The human condition is nothing but contradictions

Things that are good we desire to push away

Feeling unready

Unworthy

Unprepared

Saying why me

When bad things comes we cry why me

How is it we can pretend to be so disconnected

As to even ask why me

Good or bad

It is all as we create it

Why does this change come for me

I asked it to come and proceeded to do the inner work

So how is it that I can not feel ready or worthy

If that were so it would not be coming

It is coming because I am ready

That is the whole point

So now why would I fear that

If I am ready than the change is natural

Simple

Easy

An evolution that feels good and right

But I choose to attach to what I release and cause pain

How sick is that

That humanity has degraded to that level

Where choosing pain and fear is the status quo

What seems the natural course of emotion at a time of great change

Why not JOY

EXCITEMNT

CELEBRATION

The earth does not fear her changes

A child does not fear learning to walk

A bear cub does not fear his first attempt to fish in the river

Only humans fear change that stems from growth

Only humans fear the next season

They fear losing childhood and taking on adult responsibilities

Fear growing older

Fear their children leaving them for adulthood

Fear growing older yet

Fear death

But every season brings something greater if we are willing to see it

Experience it

It only gets better

And death becomes nothing

This change is coming whether I fear it or not

Engtovo ~ October 24, 2004

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