Death Of Victimization

Confusion attempted to take over my consciousness

It was successful for a day

One measly day is all it can now manage

It did it well for a day

It used full drama

Hopelessness

Loneliness

And fear

It did not miss an opportunity for negative thought this day

Many tears came

Heart weeping in heavy sighs

Exhausted

Heavy

Weary

Fearful

Hopeless

The clearing profound despite its unpleasantness

But after this dismal day

The sun has broken out and new clarity takes over

And confusion was unsuccessful in taking me off my path

Back into victimization

It was used to serve my healing

Surface those things not yet fully acknowledged

I remember when my mind could sustain that confusion fear and doubt

For weeks at a time

How did I live through such a thing

When now a single day had me ready to meet my maker

So humorous it is now

A few days later

I almost believed my whining and whimpering self pity

Unfortunately for the internal saboteur

I know better

It all came from that place that does not wish to give up victimization

But it’s too late

I have claimed my power

Victimization is dying

And on that dismal day

It was grasping for breath

Desperately trying to stay alive

But all it was given

Was a chance to say fair thee well


Engtovo ~ January 18, 2004

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