To Become Me

For years there has been such a disparity between the me I am expressing

And the me I know

Now the mergence is at hand

I can see the me of my vision within my reach

There are aspects of that me

That I misunderstood in years past

Now she stands before my eyes so clearly

Attainable

Not distant

I choose to become her now

I choose to allow myself that gift

I give myself permission to be her

To create whatever will nurture her full life

For so long I have felt I did not deserve to be her

The reasons for this belief are varied

They are deep

They are layered

But they were all based in falsehood

Now I can see she is who I have been destined to become

I cannot escape her

Even if I desire to try in moments of self hatred

She will not leave my vision

My consciousness

She simply patiently awaits

My arrival

My acceptance that she is who I have always been in truth

I have put my toe into the water

Now I want to fully submerge myself

I will no longer wait

I will pursue her consciously

Fully

I will not attempt to make her come to me

I will seek out every aspect of her relentlessly

Because I now love myself enough to want to be her

I can feel her feelings now

They make my own seem distant and silly

The thoughts that had importance

Are now absurd from this new vantage point where I am almost her

I ask the universe to support all that will allow her to emerge

From deep within me she springs

She is the wise Goddess

She presents herself with pride in her accomplishment

With compassion for all life

Loving her body temple

Joy in her every breath

Let nothing stand between us

Move away all that is not in harmony with this transmutation

This is my evolution

No part of me can escape

No part wants to escape any longer

So I embrace the moment

The day

This day

My day

To become me

Engtovo ~ October 16, 2003

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