The Sacred Mountain

Hope gives a glimmer of what could be,

to the infinite place in myself.

The mortal in me tries to achieve this place of divinity

and is thwarted with comfort and limitation.

Thus thwarted, only hopelessness remains, as a constant friend in times of nocturnal search.

From hopelessness,

hope must be offered again,

for hopelessness has no place to go,

only hope remains

The circle of hope and hopelessness leads me on a safari.

The thrill of the chase excites my being into feeling alive.

The kill leaves an empty void in the center of my heart,

giving full reign to despair.

Man and beast come face to face in the outpouring turbulence of a game gone awry.

In the ensuing chaos of thought

the mortal within me can only give birth to… trust

in the ever living spirit of my being.

The spirit is not allowed it’s true expression

it fights for freedom from the oppression of the journey… and yet

in this oppression

I must seek and find trust to keep hope and hopelessness at bay.

My spirit gives forth a piercing sound

and man and beast walk their separate ways.

Trust in this spirit has led me to believe… in it’s power

and manifestation of it’s divine nature.

In the belief of my divine nature

illumination takes place

showing the trail of crooked desires

that have led me to the sacred mountain.

I shed my skin in an act of transmutation

and serpentine a trail up the mountains rim.

This new belief fuels my desire to reach the top.

I grow tired in my journey

and seek solace in the cave

upon the mountains East slope

here I await my inspiration

ask for assistance

and pray.

When I awaken from my meditative state,

my faith has been born.

A place deep within me tells me to carry on,

that I can reach the top of the sacred mountain.

This place reaches out and tells me of my journeys upon the sacred mountain in the past.

I enter the light of the brilliant sun

and leave the cave to continue my journey

with faith as my guide and companion.

In an instant

I place my foot upon a stone

where I have stepped before

and my knowing is born.

The stone speaks to me of my previous journeys

and how I accomplished my goal

and my heart hears this truth.

My spirit becomes me,

and integration becomes the trail that continues upon the mountain’s rim.

With every step forward

three more are remembered

and stepped over.

I know that I am the sacred mountain

and the top I have desired to reach has been with me always.

So comes my journey

into unknown territories

that are known completely

and veiled by the illusion of

hope and hopelessness.

Engtovo ~ February 28 1997

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