Thought of him labors her breath with terror of submission, ease and simplicity hide behind fear’s resistance of the unresistable.
She knows him in many forms, this is her magnetic force and the source of her terror.
Only he can bring forth the intensity of emotion within her.
Can she face these feelings again?
Can she handle their intensity with integrity and acknowledgment?
How can she give herself over to the flow of the unresistable force without giving up her power?
Her desire to remain in control is her savior and her destined enemy.
It keeps her safe….and without him.
Why doesn’t she know that trust can be given freely and the consequences lay out as they will be?
The true heart and passion of one and the truth and trust of the other.
Is it possible for him to be the essence of both?
The parts she would take from each and combine into a perfect unity to blend with herself in one life….One purpose….One love.
The breath of her terror disables her and leaves her a shell of her true self.
The resistance within her keeps the ease at bay and prolongs the labor of acquiescence.
To submit or unite?
To lose power or join forces in an endless journey of creation.
Her true perspective escapes her in the clouded chamber of her mind.
Her Soul yearns for the connection and nothing else.
Her mind shudders with fear at the connection and nothing else.
It is….and can be no other.
There is no separation of their unity and spark, only the fear of acknowledgment.
This acknowledgment has led to cloudiness incomprehensible to her in forms gone before.
Is it clarity that she seeks to protect?
The same clarity that ushers in the infinite potential, comes knocking at the door seeking protection from it’s own creation…it’s own calling.
The response has been echoed, and the fog rolls in from the stormy waters, hailing the assumed loss of self, of clarity, of knowing, of truth, it contradicts the very nature of it’s being with games of the mind and ignoring of the heart.
Where does he reside, it asks… within the impending murky waters of the incoming tide?
With the fog so thick how will she know that the tide of his heart is about to reach out and touch hers?
Perhaps the allowing of the fog is the sea’s gift unto the land letting the tide gently, slowly rise up and touch her a little at a time, non-threatening, but never the less unstoppable, moving forward and retreating to move forward again, until the surge of it’s passion pulls her down into a new life below it’s surface.
She is ready and surrenders to the outflow in absolute unity of the one love.
Trembling she flows deep into the waters of he and finds beyond the shoreline clarity of a new world, luminescent and flowing.
The waters of he are not murky, but brilliant in their perfect reflection.
She has become one with him in a secret world where power and submission do not live.
Engtovo ~ February 27 1997